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Original poster

Financial Abuse - AlmostFreeMo - Part 4

997 replies

AlmostFreeMo · 26/04/2016 06:51

Next Fred...

OP posts:
tribpot · 01/05/2016 15:05

Had he managed to acquire his own food for this event? Amazing that he has belatedly discovered how to do that.

Glad it's over with, I can see why it was so disturbing to witness him doing an impeccable impression of the man you once thought he was. Chilling that he can be so deceptive.

Akire · 01/05/2016 15:13

Did he just shout upstairs im going? Thought he would play it situation normal though what his family thought that you were up stairs on his last few hours who knows!

So no comments about what next or Soliters just be back to normal I'm guessing. Still well done you did tha hardest part that you have been dreading since January so very very well done.

Try take it easy today hopefully kids be glad back in own beds and you can have bath or something to get heart rate back within normal range!

Least we know loud and clear- his perception of normal is so off the scale he's handed you a present

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 01/05/2016 15:17

He just knocked on my door to tell me he was leaving and therefore handing the kids back to me. How can he feel nothing. Honestly that's the hardest part.

OP posts:
inlectorecumbit · 01/05/2016 15:17

and breathe.....

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 01/05/2016 15:18

Yes, bath and wine tonight without a doubt.
Although I've noticed it's the first of the month, and no money as yet from him. I don't know if that's deliberate yet or just an oversight. I'm not going to chase him for it yet.

OP posts:
Akire · 01/05/2016 15:19

I bet it is, it's not like he tried kiss you or said talk tonight so he does know things are different - he can't control your behaviour so he just ignore it, then carry on with his best normal behaviour under the circumstances.

Don't be suprised if you burst into tears later all that aderline and stress has got to come out and some point x

OrlandaFuriosa · 01/05/2016 15:19

Well done.

Summary: he is seriously weird, you have made the right decision, now get on with the boring and exhausting detail, and , we shall all be here to help.

Next action, hugs all round, bath, BrewWine

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 01/05/2016 15:23

Akire, you're right, I'm already in tears. Sad
It's so bloody hard. I know it will pass though.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 01/05/2016 15:25

Make sure you speak to authorities on Tuesday making your separation official etc. Will you be able claim income support as a single parent?

If he pays the usual food and ad hoc money that is a private maintenance agreement (and less than he should be paying you) so it's not an issue.

How old is your youngest? If you look for work you will be able to get some help with childcare fees etc so financially worthwhile IMHO.

Well done Flowers

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 01/05/2016 15:31

Random, I've already sent off everything for CB and tax credits. Only thing left is income support, which yes I can claim.
He's normally like a machine with routines and payments, so odd he's not given me anything yet.

OP posts:
mix56 · 01/05/2016 15:40

The guy is seriously deranged in my opinion. well done, it's over. off
I fear however, he is going to give you less, as he bought take away & then you were bing hosted elsewhere, plus may say, he is not paying as you deprived him of time with them.

AyeAmarok · 01/05/2016 15:47

Tough day Mo. Flowers

You got through it. Be proud of yourself.

kittybiscuits · 01/05/2016 16:06

He's a fantasist. In his mind he has been so wonderful and your behaviour is insane. 'What else can I do? She's lost the plot'. Or something like that. It's very shocking to see it played out. You've done brilliantly. Cut yourself some slack today.

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 01/05/2016 16:10

But how his guests can think his behaviour today was normal too, bearing in mind they knew I was here and what's happening? They are all very odd. They are obviously on Team Prick, whether they know my side of the story or not.

OP posts:
BoatyMcBoat · 01/05/2016 16:11

In his head, it's not happening so he ignores it.

Well done getting through it, Mo. ChocolateWineCake

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 01/05/2016 16:13

I just want to bury myself away from the world today. Kids are nagging to see friends but I just can't.
What a cruel, heartless bastard he is.

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 01/05/2016 16:33

He is cruel and he's a T**t of the first degree. Do you have to ask fir the money ? He will be waiting for you to ask as he can then remind himself how big and clever he is ?

How long will the benefits take yo kick in ?

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 01/05/2016 17:06

I sent off the forms about a month ago. It takes several weeks but they will back date everything I think.

OP posts:
kittybiscuits · 01/05/2016 17:09

That's exactly what he is Mo. He doesn't need your pity because he has no heart. Save your feelings for yourself and your DCs. Just make things as easy as possible for yourself today. DVD, easy food. You have dealt with him. BrewCake

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 01/05/2016 17:12

Thanks Kitty. I feel so incredibly fragile - don't think I could face speaking to anyone. If he doesn't pay child maintenance this month I will be forced to sell his possessions.

OP posts:
notonyurjellybellynelly · 01/05/2016 17:15

Add message | Report | Message poster AlmostFreeMo Sun 01-May-16 15:18:28
Yes, bath and wine tonight without a doubt.
Although I've noticed it's the first of the month, and no money as yet from him. I don't know if that's deliberate yet or just an oversight. I'm not going to chase him for it yet

Perhaps the bank holiday has delayed it.

I don't live in the UK but I paid my staff yesterday evening and they all got their salary if they banked with a local bank. However The one bloke who uses an international bank is still waiting for his.

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 01/05/2016 17:24

He manually transfers it, between accounts from same bank so it's normally instant. He sends a chunk of money to the UK each month to pay UK bills but ok...it's possible I suppose. But he is on the ball when it comes to money so not entirely sure. But this is only for his ex and kids so not as important as everything else in his life.

I'm utterly drained today. Forgive me if I come on here slurring and dribbling later with more mixed up emotions...!

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 01/05/2016 17:46

Take it easy on yourself, Mo, you have done so well and come through so much for your children and yourself. Your emotions are bound to be a bit up and down, your trajectory is definitely upwards, away from what has tried to keep you tied down. Congratulations and raise a glass to Free Mo.

Happy to put banner away for now, but keeping it close at hand, with the pompoms

Akire · 01/05/2016 18:25

I wonder if he's not going give you the same money if he say or not? I'm sure he love you to ask where it is and make you beg for it. Hope tax credits and child benefit get back to you soon. You can apply on line for income support too so worth a go when you are feeling stronger.

Just think not having to ask him money again! Well he have to do maintence but you get more benefits than you have to live on at moment anyway.

Are you moving back into main room Or do you feel better in your room now?

Joysmum · 01/05/2016 18:31

I'd have laid money on I'm waiting for you to have to ask.

The lack of acknowledgement today of the situation and financial abuse is about his controlling personality, the non-payment is about control.