Brave Babes Battle Bus is Racing Along.....

[venusandmars]

Our lovely mouseface usually starts these threads but I've just noticed that the previous one is almost full, so I'm facing technology and get the next one set up.

Anyone, absolutely anyone, who feels they have a problem with drink is welcome here. Whether you're trying to stop, or cut down a little, whether you've been sober for years, or even if you're too scared even to contemplate what is happening. If you think it will help you to post, or lurk, then please do.

There's often a lot of nonsense and banter, but lots of good sound advice.

And there is always lots of support and care and no judgement.

This is the link to the previous thread, if you want to read what's been going on so far The Previous Thread

And this is the link to JesusWhatNext 's original thread started 6 years ago The Original Thread

hello, just popping in to post this link which may be useful:

www.nhs.uk/Livewell/alcohol/Pages/Alcoholsupport.aspx

It has alternatives to just seeing your GP and also addresses drug use too.

tweetoo hi, I'm a big fan of AA, and going was the day I got my life back. Please just give it a go. You don't have to say or do anything, just sit and listen. Hope you're ok.

Halle, am thinking of you, chick. Hope you're alright, please keep posting!

Hello everyone else! Sorry to kind of just land here! Thanks for being welcoming!

Hey Marry you are very welcome . Will, welcome back Hon. Ouch, broken coccyx sounds painful (we can debate the spelling later). You going to join me in being AF today? Halle these are for you

will!! Hi!! A friend of mine bruised her coccyx once and was in agony so dread to think how much pain you are in having broken it. You are, of course, welcome on the bus - finds will the comfiest seat, grabs a soft blanket and pops Barrie back in the boot.

Welcome to everyone and marry thanks for your advice, you sound like a wise person. Well done on your sobriety.

Day 3 here, not much planned but will attempt another run later.

Sorry hi also to tweet welcome to the bus, have some and

Morning all. Thanks so much for your concerns. Ive given myself a HUGE fright. I blacked out after only 3 glasses of wine last night (I have never blacked out on so little before) during my "blackout" I cleaned the bathroom, prepared beg for today's dinner, ordered and ate a Chinese and went to bed. And I remember not one bit of this. Im so freaked out and I know my husband isn't lying. Bathroom is spotless and veg is all in fridge and Chinese cartons still in kitchen. Now I know my hubby would never ever clean bathroom cut veg or eat Chinese food cause he hates it. Why on earth would i black out after only 3 drinks?? im so scared this norning and I have honestly given. Myself a massive fright. It's a shame there isn't a bus "chat room" cause sometimes when you need to talk understandably people have lives and can't be on here 24/7 but I love this forum and I am 100% AF today and hope when I feel like a dribk later I can pop on here for distraction. Love to all and thanks for all the love shown. Im pulling myself together once and for all. Ive never ever woken up feeling scared. Yes ive woken up feelin mortified at things ive done etc, but never actually scared like this. I still can't believe I done all that after 3 wines and can't remember. On the bright side .... No bathroom cleaning today!! Xxx

Morning!

Blackout is indeed terrible. I'll tell you a story. Last year, when three glasses for me was effectively a whole bottle of wine, I took it into my head that I needed to talk to an old friend about something personal. And I decided that there was no way I could have that conversation with them at home in case my husband overheard. Everyone was in bed and the friend lives in Hong Kong so I knew she would be up. I got in my car, bare foot in my pj's and drove a mile up the road and pulled up and chatted. And then drove home again, and silently went to bed.

I have absolutely no recollection of this whatsoever, but my friend later sent me a message as a follow up, and when I looked on my phone I had taken pictures from the wheel of my car of fireflies near the windscreen. There was the evidence, but no memory. My feet were dirty, and my dressing gown was on the front seat.

Words cannot describe how terrified I was. No one got hurt, there were no consequences. But I always despised drink-drivers and suddenly I became one. If I had been picked up I would have lost my licence, and God only knows how I would have managed life, school runs etc. The publicity would be horrific. And what if I'd hit someone, or hurt myself?

I made these choices because of wine, and because after several big glasses on a warm night, it seemed like a brilliant idea.

Good morning my lovely babettes,

I don't have much time this morning, I'm off to Zumba, I've been reading the last few days with sadness, frustration, massive empathy and nodding my head knowingly at the many strong emotions and fears being expressed.

I have been to hell and back with booze, I have so much I want to say to you halle I was a Tramadol girl myself, drank so much and took so many I forgot what I'd drunk and took and take more. I truly believe my height and weight may have actually saved my life on a few very serious occasions. So many horrific things I'm ashamed to admit to but I've been sober since October and have my life back, I have my kids respect back, my parents trust back and my mental health back. There is nowhere in this journey you cannot return from except death and that ain't gonna happen to you babe. I'm gonna pop back later and help you get some help xxx

tweet you too babe, you have taken a huge step by posting, there were times on here that the only people left in the entire world speaking to me were the beautiful souls on here. I was In terrible shape, a&e, crisis team, kids taken by my parents, really awful stuff!!!! BUT not anymore, I made it back to
Normality and so will you, keep posting babe xxx

will also had a broken tail bone, absolutely agony, was drunk at the time, 6 weeks of agony as I recall... What happened babe??? Xxx

I'll be back later so see how your all doing....

Yay babyjane1

Morning all.

Halle - blackouts are terrifying. Glad you and your family are safe. Get some help xxx

Bad day here - it's pouring down, I'm missing the man I thought I knew and am terrified of the anger-filled monster he has turned into: I'm awaiting a copy of his statement ahead of the CAFCASS 7 report.

I can't lose my children - they hold me together.

He left for two days at Christmas after I completely broke down, leaving me to cope with a very poorly child and no sleep. When he returned he said he'd left them with me because they are my glue - and now he's trying to take them from me because I finally called the police and had him arrested.

Thankyou pink for your kind words. Im relatively new here so I don't know your situation with your ex. If you care to share am
On here all day today since I have a child and husband free house also dinners prepared and the bathroom is clean xxx

Oh pink what a horrible mess for you. I don't know what all the technical stuff means, are you able to tell us a bit more about your situation and your drinking??

I'm deeply ashamed to admit my little one told her nursery teacher "mummy drinks too much wine and falls asleep" and I became the focus of a social work enquiry so I know a bit about being assessed and judged. It was also a pivotal part of me getting sober and staying sober. I know many will judge me but I had a full on breakdown following PND then after hitting my rock bottom, a bipolar diagnosis. hitting my personal rock bottom was the catalyst for my recovery and I. A way it was a blessing. I could be, maybe even would be dead now if my destructive behaviours were allowed to continue. Stay strong babe xxx

Bad things happen to good people but it does get better and the bus babes will hold your hand and support you through this, your not alone xxxx

God life's a bitch sometimes, wish I could hug every one of you and I wish when it was me in your shoes I believed those who said "it will be ok" cos they were right, it really is ok.... Infact it's bloody great xxx

will great to have you back! I have also had a drunken coccyx injury (tried going downstairs in a duvet cover like kids do, but I'm obviously quite a bit heavier than a child and gained far more momentum than anticipated ). It was bloody painful so you have my sympathy!

pink sorry that sounds horrendously stressful.

claret well done on your run! I really really need to try and make myself get back into the habit, I miss the lovely endorphin rush afterwards.

My planned AF night didn't happen last night, or Sunday, so I'm hungover and trying to study which isn't the best combination. Stupidly didn't actually want to drink last night, didn't enjoy it, even found myself wishing for the feeling of getting into bed sober. It really was/is a compulsive or self harm type thing I think. I can recignise the cycle of low mood, drink more, mood worse etc but just can't seem to stop it.

Have two nights in a hotel for the course I'm on tomorrow and Friday. Dreading it to be honest, it's two 10 hour days of lectures and assessments with a group of strangers and I'm not looking forward to having to keep up a front for that long.

Anyway, better get back to pretending to do some work! Hope everyone's ok xxx

Morning my lovely babes, old and new. I have a lot of catching up to do! baby...I'm not sure how I did it but I'm sure the coffee table has something to do with it and a randy DH and, no, it wasn't poopsy love . I have come lovely co codamol to keep me going and once the last part of my root canal is done I'll have no reminders of my antics.

elba my friend and I use to do that in the pub after work....but with no quilt and we'd go headfirst on our tummies.....the carpet burns and bruises were shocking! But it seemed a good idea at the time

DH works away tue to fri (or sat if we've not got the kids) and at first I though they meant guilt free drinking but its lost its appeal (that can only be a good thing)

I really need to not drink now as DH and I had sex and I wasn't covered wth any contraception (stupid I know but there it is). DH reall doesn't want anymore kids and is saying I should get the coil and him a vasectomy. Can't do anything now till I know I'm not Keith Cheggers, anyway I'm rambling now.....I'll be back soon

Hugs to hally and pink*

hally that all sounds very stressful, have you heard from SS? They can be helpful.

pink the amount of blackouts I've had is countless. You're not alone in that one.

I can't believe that even after my scare (still feel horrid fear) and terrible anxiety - that I want to have a drink to "calm me down" im
Not gonna let myself but I can't believe I actually want to!! X

That sadly is the nature of addiction. It's a pisser.

It's affecting every part of my body mind and soul now. I don't have any "withdrawl" synptoms ... But my mind definitly does. It's all I think about now and even when I'm drinking It im sittin there thinking to myself WTF are you doing Halle? Why are u drinking this shit you aren't even enjoying it.but once I start I still can't stop until the last drop is gone xx

Yep. It's a horrible sinking feeling.

Did you see the links I posted? You can ring them anonymously.

I've only had about a dozen in 20 years but they are horrible.

Sorry hally & pink I mixed your named in my last post.

hally I hate 'The Dreds' it's awful but remind yourself I will go and drinking won't do that. Go get some nice drinks....I'm loving a big jug in the fridge with fresh mint and cucumber in it. Urges don't last long, when you feel an urge force yourself to go do something quick, (I clean or fold laundry as there's always plenty of that). Than have a drink that you made AF. Or post here, I be popping in quite a bit today as I too need to keep focuses. Today is AF day 1 and I will not be drinking today

Yeah im gonna keep tryin to talk on here in between house work etc. I really feel like talking today. Getting it all out. Im back to day 1 now AGAIN! Please pray for me
To at least get a whole week. I can't remember last time I managed a week AF ....
Id feel so proud of myself. How sad is that, a grown woman with kids feeling proud of herself because she didn't pick up a drink. Im a fuxkin disgrace to my family

i dont keep booze in the house. Don't trust myself.

How long have you been sober again marry? Xx

Don't make me go and get Barrie out of his tank halle, you're not a disgrace, you're addressing a very addictive problem. It's a disease at the end of the day ( One which took my mother's life) and the fact you are getting help is amazing and you should be proud of that.

I've had quite a few day 1's, but I know I can get a good few in a row under my belt too. The thought of never drinking again scares me so I don't think about it. I just go a day at a time, at the moment I'm looking to cut down and so should you. You'll feel fab after a AF day, it might even spur you on to do another. Maybe you'll do it like elba who counts them in a total week and not in a row.