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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Brave Babes Battle Bus is Racing Along.....

998 replies

venusandmars · 23/04/2016 23:52

Our lovely mouseface usually starts these threads but I've just noticed that the previous one is almost full, so I'm facing technology and get the next one set up.

Anyone, absolutely anyone, who feels they have a problem with drink is welcome here. Whether you're trying to stop, or cut down a little, whether you've been sober for years, or even if you're too scared even to contemplate what is happening. If you think it will help you to post, or lurk, then please do.

There's often a lot of nonsense and banter, but lots of good sound advice.

And there is always lots of support and care and no judgement.

This is the link to the previous thread, if you want to read what's been going on so far The Previous Thread

And this is the link to JesusWhatNext 's original thread started 6 years ago The Original Thread

OP posts:
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11
Elba84 · 03/05/2016 21:43

Hey rarity how are you doing? Always seems so easy in the morning to say I'm going to be AF today but it's bloody hard to see it through isn't it? X

Rarity75 · 03/05/2016 21:47

I'm ok thanks elba, it is isn't it. I've been really unsettled in work today. Found it really hard to be productive and just came home and cracked open a bottle of wine. Haven't eaten either, so now feel like poo!!
How are you? X

Elba84 · 03/05/2016 22:04

I'm ok, just a bit bored and slightly lonely if I'm honest. On a day off and been stuck at home all day attempting to prepare for a course I'm doing in a couple of weeks, but realised I've not spoken to anyone all day. Have you got the energy to go and get yourself something to eat, might make you feel a bit better (says the worlds biggest hypocrite!)? X

Rarity75 · 03/05/2016 22:08

I am currently eating cold pizza from last nights take away. Not healthy, how about you? Have you eaten?
I find boredom a massive trigger.

soberisthenewblack168 · 03/05/2016 22:09

In bed feeling sorry for myself cos I have a horrible bug. On the plus side I do not want a drink. Would you like me to come over and breathe all over youSmileGrin

Elba84 · 03/05/2016 22:21

Cold pizza is always good! Yeah I've had some toast, not exactly nutritious I know but better than nothing.
sober hope you feel better soon (you can keep your bug to yourself though Grin)

Elba84 · 04/05/2016 00:30

13 units so far tonight, not even drunk Blush Sorry, keep getting so much lovely support from everyone then fuck it up over and over again. Going to stop soon but only as I have counselling in the morning, and she always seems to know.

Feel like I'm watching myself from afar, and thinking you stupid self destructive, selfish attention seeking bitch, then carrying on regardless.

Sorry for being such a pathetic pain in the arse, I am trying (well sometimes I am), sorry I'm not much support to anyone else either.

soberisthenewblack168 · 04/05/2016 03:36

elba please stop being so hard on yourself. I have been riding this bus since the very first post which I think was about 6 years ago. I have only recently started to clock up any AF days. What has happened though is like you I am now very much aware how destructive my drinking had become and v v slowly over time my drinking has gradually reduced ........but 6 feckin years I have been trying and failing.😧😧
You sound as though you are now being mindful of how much you are drinking which is a huge step.
Please keep riding this bus because the magic that it creates really will rub off on you one day.
Hope you are feeling a bit better today Flowers

soberisthenewblack168 · 04/05/2016 05:24

theplanetd.com/images/overnight-bus-rides.jpg
All aboard 😀😀

ClaretAndBlue30 · 04/05/2016 07:14

sober that bus is awesome, Gerald is so very cool Smile hope your bug has improved this morning.

elba as sober says don't be so hard on yourself. Hope the counselling goes well today.

rarity hope you are ok this morning, sometimes work flicks my f*ck it switch too and all I can do when I get home is open a bottle of wine. By 9pm I am usually regretting it. But it's so hard to resist when the witch gets you isn't it.

I'm laid up with conjunctivitis in both eyes, had to prize them open when I woke up. Grim.

Ah well at least the sun is shining.

Halleberry · 04/05/2016 09:40

Just coming here as it was suggested to me as an alternative to the dry page because whatever I am alcojolic or problem drinker im not ready to go T total Sad hope im not alone in this x

obrigada · 04/05/2016 09:45

Hi Halle and welcome to the bus Smile, there are many on here who abstain totally, many more trying to monitor their intake etc so everybody welcome on this bus.

Had my weigh in last night at SW and only lost half a pound but realised this morning that even though my tolerance for alcohol has lowered the frequency at which I am drinking has increased. I have now gone from one night a week (since starting SW) to 3 nights a week.

So for today I am not drinking !!!

Waves to all babes Smile

Halleberry · 04/05/2016 09:50

Thanks so much for warm welcome. I definitely have a drinking problem. Dribk has affected so many aspects of my life. Luckily enough ive managed to hold onto most of my family, my kids and husband. I don't drink daily. Infact I drink 1/2 nights a week at most. Some nights im fine and have a few and go to bed, other times im so wasted I cant stand up and it's horrible blacking out. But I also can't bare the thought of living an AF life xx

ClaretAndBlue30 · 04/05/2016 10:02

Hi halle welcome! You are in the right place, and sound like many of us. Take a seat and post as much or as little as you like!

obrigada the calories in alcohol are astonishing, just think of the weight loss next week if you manage a drier week! Half a pound is still great though!

ClaretAndBlue30 · 04/05/2016 10:03

Sorry exclamation point overload in last post Confused

Halleberry · 04/05/2016 10:12

I wish I could understand why I can't bare the thought of not drinking again?? Anyone any ideas? Everyone I know says to me if they behaved like me when drunk they'd be glad to stop for life ..... I don't feel that way at all. Infact the thought of any social event without that lovely warm tingly feeling I get after a glass of wine make me feel anxious. Id sooner not go to the event than go and not drink xx

obrigada · 04/05/2016 10:13

Am definitely aiming for a drier week Claret Smile

Elba84 · 04/05/2016 12:40

Sorry for the drunk rant last night Blush Sober you're right about being more mindful, and it is a big step, but in a way I think it makes it more scary when I screw up if that makes any sense? How are you feeling today? Guessing from your posting times that you didn't have a good night!

Hungover today (unsurprisingly) for the first time in over a week. Counselling was hard, trying to untangle a lot of pretty screwed up stuff from my past. I'm trying to resist the temptation to sit in the sun with a bottle of wine and just blank it all out. Working tomorrow so I can't anyway.

Got a busy run of shifts coming up, nearly 60 hours by this time next week, so some forced moderating coming up. Then four days off and a girly weekend away to look forward to so not all bad!

halle welcome Smile The thought of a totally AF future scares me too, but I'm coming to the conclusion that carrying on drinking this way is equally, if not more, terrifying. Catch 22 really.

claret bless you conjunctivitis is grim, did you get it from DD?

ClaretAndBlue30 · 04/05/2016 13:58

halle for me, I think it's hard to imagine life without booze because it's so intertwined with our culture and so socially acceptable/encouraged (which is crazy when you think of the behaviour it causes). Having said that, I managed perfectly fine when pregnant so maybe those are just excuses. I just find it scare to imagine a Christmas or holiday without the obligitory drink (s). I've shaped my life around alcohol for so long, I don't know how to undo that.

So for me, for now, I am trying to moderate. And I'm finding I'm getting into a healthier pattern. But have to be ever mindful and not complacent. Is it worth it? I don't know.

elba fortunately my DD has escaped without it but I expect it was from one of her little friends! They like to share their bugs these toddlers Sad

Glad you've got a nice break after your busy week! That sounds full on. I really admire how hard you work.

Halleberry · 04/05/2016 17:04

That's definitelt It for me claret. My husband and I have surrounded ourselves (not with the intention of one of us ending up with a problem) but at weekends it's been family parties, bbqs in summer, friends round for dinner, holidays with wine and beer chilling in the sun. Some of my very best times have been with alcohol. But then again, so have some of my worst. Im pretty much 50/50 so once it hits bad out weighing the good on a high level I guess I will have to stop. Im also dealing with a Valium addiction to Sad it's a nightmare dealing with both these problems at the same time. Ive relied on both for so long I probbanly be dead in next ten years. I can go days upon days without alcohol but I have to have my Valium everywhere I go. Ive had soells where I haven't had to take Valium for weeks but lately I seem to be doing a lot of both. Then again, im a crazy woman who got pregnant, moved house when I was 36 weeks, had my baby in May, got married in August, and my father hung himself in September so to be fair this year hasn't been my easiest Sad xx this place seems and feels like the right plave tk be just now though x

WillAndDisgrace · 04/05/2016 18:23

Hello,

I've been on a bendy one. Been in hiding but thought I'd pop in. Not looking for sympathy, just to say I'm trying (or, at least I will be soon) X

Halleberry · 04/05/2016 18:31

Don't worry yourself to much. Ive been AF since Sunday and I feel fine but party next weekend where I know I will get steaming drunk and probably do what I always do which includes arguing with people, bad mouthing my husband, talking nonsense like my own language - and my own personal special and most embarrassing (peein my bed) BlushBlush. Worst feeling ever but can't help myself xxx

ClaretAndBlue30 · 04/05/2016 19:21

will hi!!!! So pleased you posted. Hope you're ok Flowers

halle dont worry, we all have stories. Hopefully By using the support on this bus you can make steps to reduce them?? It's a step in the right direction anyway.

WillAndDisgrace · 04/05/2016 19:47

Bank holiday my sis in law asked if she could have ds for a night as her girls were asking to see him. Obviously I jumped to the chance for a child free night with DH. Well we went for dinner, then drinks then hit a ltr it rum then another one!!! I felt so shit on Sunday. Worse than the tooth incident. I've slowed tight down but tonight DH is away again and I'm up to my old tricks. I'm
Going to hopefully moderate till Friday them Monday will be comply dry. It's that or fail as a human

WillAndDisgrace · 04/05/2016 19:53

Also, I'm bruised all over! My tail bone feels broken and both sides of my head are very sore? I think DH and I were trying to re create the dirty dancing end scene....but he also hit very nasty and after he found out about a surprise I was arranging for him (birthday) he accused me of flirting with one of his family members (couldn't be further from the truth and in his heart he knows it). He knows he has jealousy issues so it's all a bit shit at the mo