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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Brave Babes Battle Bus is Racing Along.....

998 replies

venusandmars · 23/04/2016 23:52

Our lovely mouseface usually starts these threads but I've just noticed that the previous one is almost full, so I'm facing technology and get the next one set up.

Anyone, absolutely anyone, who feels they have a problem with drink is welcome here. Whether you're trying to stop, or cut down a little, whether you've been sober for years, or even if you're too scared even to contemplate what is happening. If you think it will help you to post, or lurk, then please do.

There's often a lot of nonsense and banter, but lots of good sound advice.

And there is always lots of support and care and no judgement.

This is the link to the previous thread, if you want to read what's been going on so far The Previous Thread

And this is the link to JesusWhatNext 's original thread started 6 years ago The Original Thread

OP posts:
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11
ClaretAndBlue30 · 30/04/2016 19:28

Sorry thread moved on as I typed. Samaritans sounds like a good idea will, talking will help, promise.

ClaretAndBlue30 · 30/04/2016 19:31

ma your DD will be so appreciative that you have gone and got her and wrapped her up in your safe family unit. Lots of hugs and tlc for her will do her the world of good. It's an odd feeling for all involved when a gf or bf leaves the scene. It has an impact on the dynamics.

WillAndDisgrace · 30/04/2016 19:38

I'm just gonna get drunk xxxxx

babyjane1 · 30/04/2016 19:49

Oh will I too was in an abusive relationship, jealousy was horrendous, I ended up like a blinkered horse, looking straight ahead only and apparently I fancied every man I met, even relatives and my Dads friends. Not so much violent but very shouty and told me people didn't smile at me they were laughing at for my hair, clothes, shoes, you name it. I left when dd1 was 2 when she began getting a fright when he started shouting.

Think carefully about where you go from here, we are here to support you lovely lady, is dh drunk??? If your both drinking it may end badly. Be careful babe, so sorry your going through this xxx

lala as always you are just lovely xxxx

WillAndDisgrace · 30/04/2016 19:56

I'm so blinkers

laladidah · 30/04/2016 20:42

will!!! I don't know the whole story behind this... I just wanted to say that you seem really strong, and this some sort of set back/blip? I realise that I don't know you, but you sound (like all the babes on here) pretty damn cool.

If you need to call the Samaritans then pleas do. I have, in the past, and venting a lot of rage, etc, made me feel a lot better.

Anyway, maybe try and find your favourite food or song and try and chill out?

Depressedmess · 30/04/2016 22:04

babyjane thank you so much for that! That is just what I need to read right now xxx

will please look after yourself and try and speak to someone xxx

ClaretAndBlue30 · 01/05/2016 00:18

Just caught up on the thread. Off to bed shortly.

Had a fair bit to drink tonight, but happy with my behaviour and will stop after this glass. Cooked a nice meal for friends, and ate some which is good.

will I hope you are ok. Love to all other babes.

ClaretAndBlue30 · 01/05/2016 08:48

Morning babes. How is everyone feeling today? Brew and Cake for you if you need it (I don't care that you shouldn't eat cake for breakfast, it's one of those days)

So a new month and new goals to set. Mine is that I want to have a month with no embarrassing drunk episodes and a minimum of 17 AF days.

obrigada · 01/05/2016 09:35

Morning Claret, will take a mug of tea but will have to decline the cake Grin

babyjane1 · 01/05/2016 09:54

claret why thank you my lovely xxx

obrigada oh you are good!! How's the plan going, please inspire me???

will are you ok babe? Xxx

ma hope dd2 is ok, what was he thinking? Xxx

obrigada · 01/05/2016 10:14

Morning BabySmile, am doing ok on SW but find it harder at weekends, mainly due to boredom Hmm. How are you on this wet and windy morning?

Fairenuff · 01/05/2016 10:15

Morning all Smile

Claret you did really well during April, lots of AF days, lots of moderating, lots of changing habits and defining your goals, I know May is going to be a great month for you too.

Elba 7 AF days is almost a quarter of a month!! And there you were convinced that you couldn't even do one day. It was difficult at your friends because you were in a different environment, I think. In your own home you can control your drinking and I think that has been working for you. You've set yourself limits and on the most part you've achieved them. You're doing so fab, well done Smile

Will we are all here for you to support you in what you want to do x

Margie how are things? Joey, Made and anyone who hasn't posted for a while?

And mouse. Where is our lovely little mousie?

dementedma · 01/05/2016 11:13

I didn't have any AF days, but usually just a glass or two.
Where is wry?
Dd2 is meeting boyfriend today for discussion. He knows he has been an absolute idiot....not sure what the outcome will be.
Am in pjs and CBA doing anything.

babyjane1 · 01/05/2016 11:38

obrigada it's a dreech day here too which is ironic as im sitting here with a burnt décolletage from gabbing in my friends garden yesterday.

I'm so glad SW is working for you, I love the easy going ethos of SW but as I have Crohn's, in quite an advanced stage I find as soon as I start to eat free foods and all the whole grains I become very poorly very quickly. I'm not a big eater anyway, food = pain and urgency but the years of irregular eating (forfeited food for for wine for a better hit for years) steroids and now bipolar meds have left me 3 stones overweight. Thankfully I'm tall but seriously I'd need now to be 8ft 6 to be the right weight for my height. I honestly think I've seriously screwed by my metabolism up and of course I am forever greatful to the bipolar meds, being this overweight isn't good for my health or self image, I just feel fat and slovenly at the moment. I had hoped giving up booze would see the weight fall off but I've found a love of chocolate I never had before. Really want my image to reflect my recovery but I look and feel years older because I'm dressing that way to hide the fat. Anyway sorry for rambling, it's nothing compared to what I've been through, I guess all women of a certain age (44) just want to look their best, so proud of you on your success with it, it ain't easy fighting the wine witch and the honey monster, go you xxx

lookingforhope · 01/05/2016 11:47

Hi all - and thanks for the lovely supportive comments and advice Baby, Depressed, Obrigada, Claret, Ma, Faire, Fatrascals and all - you are all lovely! I posted his pic on FB and got loads of comments on how handsome and lovely he is and that cheered me up. And one or two of my friends who know the backstory PM'd me to say I was an 'amazing woman' for bringing them up and having a career, despite wankbadgery lack of assistance on the finance and emotional support front. So felt better, but still rather sad all day and had a few glasses of wine but didn't get drunk. It's a bittersweet time. He got in late so haven't done birthday cake yet either! One for later tonight...

Quick post just to say thanks as back on track taking him to a race today and we are running late already (long drive ahead). But wanted to thank you all, and also to say Will, big hugs to you, I hope you are feeling better now. Your DH sounds very possessive and insecure, it must be difficult (mine used to be possessive, doesn't give a shit now which is actually better - makes it clear he doesn't see me as I'm just a convenient wallet, but I prefer it without the jealous outbursts that marked the early years of our relationship). I hope you called the Samaritans and that they helped. No shame in that. I have called them before, more than once! And you have friends on here - I know it's not the same, but you do, you really do have support. We've got your back!

Ma, your poor lovely DD2. I hope she's feeling a bit better today. Good on DD1 being there for her (I bet your boy is baffled as to what to do is he?) I got your email and will message you later when back from the track this evening. Take care

Going for an AF May. Or my version of AF which means if I am out after work and get bought a drink I will have it if not driving but absolutely no drink at home or on my own (have a habit of buying G&T in train stations when commuting etc). Only the odd social night planned this month (about 3) so should help me cut down

Really must dash now, but back later. I love you lot xxx

ClaretAndBlue30 · 01/05/2016 14:56

oh obrigada you are so good Smile - bet you get another great loss this week!

faire, thank you - i feel good, I'm hoping that I'm making some lasting changes to my relationship with alcohol. Yet another thinking point for me today - my dd was sick in her sleep at about 4.30 this morning...i went to her, got her changed and sorted and did so with a (almost entirely) clear head. Any more drinks last night and that wouldn't have been the case. If anything is ever going to whip my relationship with drink into shape, its my dd.

hope so glad you are feeling a bit better. Enjoy the cake today Cake

will how are you today lovely? lala, rarity, how are your days going?

Waves to all other babes - hope the sun is shining, its a beautiful day here.

lookingforhope · 01/05/2016 15:51

It is raining here Claret Sad .But ds won his race so all good Grin

dementedma · 01/05/2016 16:07

Well done to Ds hope.

laladidah · 01/05/2016 16:51

Hi babes. Well it sounds like you are all having a good day today.

(TMI alert) I woke up at 2am and have been projectile vomiting ever since, and ahem, out of the other end as well Blush stomach has been making all sorts of horrendous noises, and I can't hold anything down, it just comes straight back up again. I am trying some flat coke to see if that will help. So thirsty it is unreal. Anyone got any tips?

I did get worried that it might be a result of my drinking but my mum had something similar on Friday, so thinking it might be that.

So yeah, very sorry for self at the moment and gutted that I am missing the beautiful sunshine outside and have been confined to my bed with a bucket Sad

Hope everyone is ok?

lookingforhope · 01/05/2016 16:58

Oooh hope you feel better soon lala - flat coke is definitely the best cure (even though it is disgusting). When you feel a little better Rich Tea biscuits are the easiest things to eat

aliasjoey · 01/05/2016 18:06

Hey faire thanks for the namecheck, not doing so good - it's turning out to be an expensive month, and it's only the 1st today!

How are you doing?

ClaretAndBlue30 · 01/05/2016 19:19

Oh lala that's horrid, hopefully it'll pass quickly. Dry toast might help once you can stomach food.

We have had such gorgeous weather today (sorry for those who didn't), it's been beautiful. short lived I expect!

Hope everyone is ok. elba, not heard from you today? will?

ClaretAndBlue30 · 01/05/2016 19:21

And hope, well done to your ds! Is it running he does?

Elba84 · 01/05/2016 22:40

Hey claret been at work all day. Hope you've enjoyed the sunshine, been lovely here too (not that I've been out in it!) but was cold enough to have to defrost the car this morning!

faire thank you lovely. Still drinking far too much in between AF days, but it gives me some sense of control. The idea of not drinking literally terrified me before.

will hope your ok

lala hope your feeling better

Third AF day of the week underway, but not sure which way I will go. In a really weird mood. I don't actually fancy a drink but feeling a bit agitated and weirdly guilty for thinking about not drinking, like it's doing something positive for myself that I don't deserve. Or something like that (not putting this into words very well). Just a bit of my brain that wants me to do something harmful - it's not even subconscious, it's pretty blatant. I want to do my three days this week but then that feels self indulgent somehow which I know isn't logical. I don't think I can cope without some sort of self destructive outlet.

Sorry that probably makes no sense, feel free to ignore.

Hope everyone's ok and enjoying the bank holiday xxx