Brave Babes Battle Bus is Racing Along.....

[venusandmars]

Our lovely mouseface usually starts these threads but I've just noticed that the previous one is almost full, so I'm facing technology and get the next one set up.

Anyone, absolutely anyone, who feels they have a problem with drink is welcome here. Whether you're trying to stop, or cut down a little, whether you've been sober for years, or even if you're too scared even to contemplate what is happening. If you think it will help you to post, or lurk, then please do.

There's often a lot of nonsense and banter, but lots of good sound advice.

And there is always lots of support and care and no judgement.

This is the link to the previous thread, if you want to read what's been going on so far The Previous Thread

And this is the link to JesusWhatNext 's original thread started 6 years ago The Original Thread

Black would work for me

www.riverisland.com/women/dresses/bodycon-dresses/black-ruched-wrap-bodycon-dress-679186

Hi all, feeling a bit overwhelmed and irrationally sad after a lovely couple of days. I can't get over how panicked I was about smuggling my wine into my friends house last night. I was going to buy it on the way from the station, but they insisted on giving me a lift. Then I was going out for cigarettes, but her husband needed a few bits so came with me. So I ended up having 'forgotten my toothbrush' and going to buy a new one from the late night tesco just as they were going to bed (fuck knows what I'd of done if they had a spare!!!) and brining back one bottle. So much fear as I was in a house without any alcohol in, nothing as a back up. Then so much decision making about do I get two bottles but drink one and take one home (wouldn't of happened) or do I 'just' get the one. But then what if I need something else?! That's not normal drinking is it???!! I had one bottle of wine last night, that I drank on my own and to me that's still moderate drinking. But planning on being AF tomorrow and that's going to cause as much m turmoil as drinking will. This is so shit, just want to have a break from thinking about it for a while and drink what I like but I won't even enjoy that as it will scare me.

Love it lala but not in my size.
Oh elba no, it's not normal but it is common. The fact you recognise it and are trying to deal with it is good.

Sorry that was a totally self absorbed and selfish post.

I've been reading the thread and am cheering you all on, sorry I haven't named anyone but thank you for your lovely messages. I'm very proud of my lovely little godson and his fab (and slighly stroppy) big sister.

Up early for work tomorrow, just hoping my mind will change from 'fuck it' mode to AF mode by tomorrow night.

Oh elba I could literally echo what you said... I would tell you what lows I used to stoop to (and still do) but it would it out me even more than I already have done. Smuggling alcohol in, panicking if you realise there is nothing to drink (I once threatened to drive home from South Devon to Exeter, picked a huge fight for no reason, was actually sitting in my car, keys in the ignition... Because I had to go and babysit my boyfriend at the time's niece. He ground me down, but I spent the whole evening siphoning off their vodka...

Anyone up?

Up, but not sober

Drunk enough to post onto an old babes bus thread, even though it was archived

alias how are you this morning, sweet?

Morning babes heres some for anyone who needs them. I also found a pack of maltesers at the back of the bus if anyone fancies them before I eat them all

joey hope you are ok.

lala the horse injury was a toe crushing incident...wrecked my toe nail unfortunately.

elba hugs, hope you feel a bit better this morning and ready for your af night.

Not much to report here, hope everyone has a nice day.

Not so bad now ma, although I did wake in the night with awful guilt and self disgust.

It was just one of those evenings... I have to stop beating myself up, and have a good think about the triggers.

And how are you ma ?

Morning babes, finally Friday .

Happy Friday Isinde, great to have you back .

Hi everyone, I haven't posted for a while but thanks for the friendly welcome! I had a couple of drinking days this week. I had about 8 units on the second night (starting at 10.30 pm - a bit late) and I think I was still a bit drunk in the middle of the night and fell over in the bedroom! I'm fine now - can't see any bruises - but this has really hammered home the point that 8 units is too much in one night! Then felt lousy the next day, what an idiot I am .
Elba I have done the same as you (buying secret wine) when staying away from home - I thought it was only me! A few weeks ago we stayed with some relations and found myself popping out "to buy a toothbrush" - exactly the same excuse too . I had planned to drink lightly that evening but I was finding things difficult to cope with. My bed wasn't ready (had offered to do it myself but hostess wouldn't allow me to strip and remake the bed because there were "stains" on the sheets). The meal was very late (still not ready at 9pm and I helped with preparations). They kept the TV on all evening and it was really hard to make conversation. At 9.30 I'd had enough and popped out to the local supermarket to buy secret wine (2 small bottles). Felt so bad about it but didn't know what else to do.
I find staying away from home and holidays very stressful and these are the times when I'm most tempted to drink. the night before a long journey has often been a heavy drinking one to cope with the stress, but I've mostly given that up as drinking gives me the most terrible car sickness the next day (I'll tell you about that another time). In the past I always took a secret bottle of spirits (takes up less room) but I've tried to wean myself off it. It's been like 2 steps forward, one step back.
I suppose we need strategies to deal with the unexpected. My plan of spending 15 minutes alone in the guest bedroom with my kindle was foiled, so was my alternative plan of having a shower and changing my clothes. I desperately needed time out from these people and something to eat! I feel so antisocial saying that but I have my limits.
Sorry for the long post, but I haven't been on the thread for a while. Thanks for all your support!

Quiet on here tonight, hope everyone is ok...check in if you can!

dot good to hear from you - what a well written post, isn't it amazing the lengths we'll go to to get a drink. I find once the craving takes hold I will do pretty much anything to get my hands on booze, however inconvenient or disruptive.

Just noticed tonight on googlebox they watch the the Louis Theroux documentary - will be interesting to see their views.

bloody, rarity, will, lala, elba, alias, obrigada, faire, isinde, made, and everyone else (your names are in my head and not forgotten but will take forever to type out!!!) how are you all?

Hey claret. Hope you are well. It is quiet this evening, hopefully everyone is in their pjs drinking elderflower cordial or tea, or something. I have had two glasses of wine as I am an idiot but just been for a lovely walk next to the river. It's a beautiful evening round this way. Saw a heron and everything - I am easily pleased.

Interesting that they are watching the documentary, I've not really got into the whole goggle box thing, but might watch up, like you say, to see the reactions.

As claret said to you, dot, it is ridiculous the lengths we go to. Someone once said to me that it is a full time job having a problem with alcohol, it involves forward planning, cunning and a hell of a lot of mind work. That person also said that generally alcoholics (not that any of you are, incase I offend), are generally highly intelligent. So that's something, right?

Feeling a bit subdued this evening. Hope everyone is ok.

tumble weed... Is there anyone out there??? Hellooooo?

Hi lala hope you're ok, I'm off to bed now after having some wine. Moderated so ok with that. Take care lovely

Well done claret, I hope you have a nice sleep. I accidentally opened bottle no.2. I don't intend to finish it. Getting self ready for bed ...

You know, this evening is the first time I have my boyfriend. I really really miss him. He is not back Til the end of May. Sigh.

Just checking in, I'm tucked up in bed

AF tonight here, but only just. stopped off to to buy wine on the way home but didn't drink it, can't cope with not having it there as an option. Just wish the constant obsession with drinking/not drinking would disappear...it's such hard work. Still, I have done 7 AF days this month so that's a whole weeks worth of not drinking which is hard to believe considering how I was.

It is crazy the lengths we all go to really. I get moments (like last night) when a bit of me realises that, like isinde said, this is a real problem and it scares the crap out of me. dot I think the thing for me with being away is it takes the control away over what I can drink, it actually makes me really anxious.

Hope everyone's ok and tucked up in bed. Night babes

Haven't posted in a while but I am up early this morning and checking in. elba, dot, and everyone else who weighed in on this issue - I have travelled on airplanes with vodka smuggled in those little travel sized toiletries bottles (I worried about drinking too much through room service/in the restaurant/from the minibar lest my family notice) and have hidden alcohol in my bag on trains and in cars on the way to holiday more times than I can count. I was mostly panicked, as you say, about the possibility of not having enough alcohol where I was going, or not having any at hand at all on arrival. I worried more about having alcohol available than I did about anything else about my holidays. This became part of my "normal." Anyway, sending you all hugs and wishing everyone strength as well as some fun and happiness over this bank holiday weekend.

Hi all - not checked in for ages. Manically busy. Sorry to bring the thread down (a few regulars know me, sorry to all the newer babes for butting in like this!) Just wanted to mark an occasion, and ask for help in keeping it together this weekend. My lovely DS is 16 today. He's going out with his mates later and am going to get up now and wrap his gifts. His sister is out at a sleepover. He spent last night with his best friend (since they were 3, aw!) and came in around 9.30pm. I opened champagne at 10.00 and we sat till midnight chatting and toasted his day. WB stayed asleep on the couch and grumbled about me asking him to get the cork out of the champagne. I asked if he wanted to join us and he said he was asleep and it was my fault he had fallen asleep because I am 'so fucking boring'. WB has just popped his head round the door now and asked when I'm going to wrap the presents (that I bought of course from both of us. He doesn't even know what they are). I'm off to do it now, have hours before the teen wakes up! I am proud of my lovely boy and happy he has so many friends who want to celebrate with him, and I am delighted he wanted to stay up and chat with me last night. However I am also hugely depressed that he is growing up and away, that I have such a terrible marriage, that I couldn't provide a happy family life for him (he isn't stupid), and that I am growing old and feel so lonely, and that the last 20 years with WB have been an utter waste of my youth. I really want to drink all day but won't of course because have to pick up DD later and don't want a row on DS birthday, whatever time he comes in later. But I will be struggling minute by minute. We were looking at albums of when he was a baby last night and of course my mum and dad were on them as they were alive then (just. Dad died when DS was 11 weeks and mum when he was 5). I just thought of how wrong things have gone since then, how loveless and horrible my marriage is, all the times I could have, should have got out when they were little (though couldn't as had no family and would have had no help with the kids as I am the sole breadwinner). I should be feeling happy today - I've brought up a lovely, lovely son, I am so proud of him, I adore him. But part of me just feels like crying...