I suppose it's my own fault for being so gullible. Long story short (well, not very short now I've read it back), OH got sacked from his job, pretended he was still going to work every day until he'd maxed out his credit card and spent our savings covering his arse, took months to find another job (despite saying repeatedly that he'd 'take anything' he actually barely looked and eventually something practically fell into his lap through his contacts). Meanwhile I was paying for everything out of my salary, mortgage, bills etc. I racked up a considerable credit card bill paying for things he really needed to set himself up with his new job, laptop, printer, hotel accommodation while he was at the other end of the country training, plus food, ongoing household costs etc because my salary only just covered our overheads. I transferred his balance and mine to an interest free card and he swore blind he would pay it all off as soon as he possibly could and he was so grateful that I hadn't left him and he had behaved so badly putting everything at risk and he loved me and he was going to put everything right blah blah blah.
So now, more than 12 months on, his credit card is again maxed out, he owes me several thousand pounds and he refuses all attempts to sit down and discuss the matter - but every month he tells me how much salary he is expecting (it's far more than I earn and plenty to make a real dent in the debts we have). All he does is push the conversation into the future - he is definitely going to start sorting it all out , of course he is but let's talk about it at the weekend/ after next payday/ nearer the time that my interest free period ends (it's now about a month away). And so for instance we have both just been paid so I bring it up again, didn't you agree we were going to talk about it, and he had a massive go at me, everything's about money with you isn't it.
I'm sick of hearing myself and I know it is in many ways my own fault for trusting him in the first place. It's not in his interests to do anything about it is it? So I'm barely speaking to him now until he does actually start doing something about it and he's playing it like I'm just in a huff (as I seem to be more and more these days).
I feel manipulated. All the times he's just told me what I want to hear and then carried on regardless. I don't want him anywhere near me and I have no idea how to solve it. In fact, I don't even think it's my problem to solve. I didn't lose my job. I didn't lie about it. I don't owe anybody any money and I am not avoiding the issue now. I hate being in debt and it's so much money, it's going to take me for fucking ever to pay it back and all the while he's just going about his business like there isn't even a problem. Which for him there isn't because the debt is on my card, in my name.
This just doesn't feel like my life any more. I want my old life back when I made decisions for myself about spending and saving. I don't want someone else in charge of me like this. But I don't know what to do.