I've posted about ILs before, I have a difficult relationship with them and they are, imo, difficult people.
They currently live an hour's plane journey away, same country.
Couple of examples of their behaviour - deciding they're coming to visit & booking flights without checking, rearranging kitchen cupboards and where things go without asking, putting their own decorations up in our house at Christmas without asking, buying a rug and putting it in our bedroom without asking, taking DS out of my arms when he's been upset.
They're also really negative about everyone except DH and our DC. They've fallen out with every single member of their families on both sides.
About 1.5 years ago they told us they were moving to a town 45 mins away from us when SFIL retired the year after.
DH and I argued as he said I made it really obvious I didn't want that - I didn't and I don't, their influence is toxic to our relationship.
He said he'd love them to be so close.
We sorted it out, i made my peace with it as long as DH set up and stuck to boundaries.
They were meant to come to us for Christmas just gone, they decided not to but didn't tell us - hadn't called or emailed for ages and we only knew when DH called them for definite dates a week before.
Apparently we were supposed to get that they weren't coming by their lack of contact, that we didn't do enough with them when they came to visit recently (we had a new baby) and that we didn't contact them enough. Now they were going to move to a town even further than they were now. DH was really hurt.
MIL's brother died so DH and her patched things up.
Now, DH has told me they're coming to stay for a week next month to look at property 20 min from us and DH will be taking time off to drive them around and look at places!
I've said that's way too close for me and I want him to take my feelings into account. I've told him to please have a conversation, however awkward and say 'mom, a little bit more distance would work better for us'
At the end of the day, they can move where they want but since it's to be part of our lives I would hope they take what we (I) into consideration.
DH doesn't want to say anything, ive told him those are my feelings, they should be considered just as important as everyone else's in the situation and its up to him whether or not to respect me and what I want.
AIBU? I've compromised to the town 45 mins away but every time I give an inch they presume 'yeah she's fine now we'll take the mile'
Another factor in this I moved here away from my family and I wish I could be closer to them but I know DH is happier here so I stay.
AIBU? DH is making me feel like I'm ruining everyone's happiness for my own petty reasons