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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Just so angry

83 replies

Gohackyourself · 06/04/2016 19:05

Hi,

I'm not really sure where/how to even start with this-

Everything annoys me... From people not replying back to me by text when I asked something- to my parents (just visiting turns into a verbal bun fight of opinions on life per se)
The general public I deal with at work in challenging situations can be really aggressive and it makes me angry.

I'm also dissapointed in people who I thought were friends and family- I split up 2 years ago- it had been v messy in my relationship for a few years and is a relief to split- but I'm on own now and find it all quite challenging at times of working f/t, challenging job, looking after children and home.
I get free time so that's not an issue.

I seem to be angry that everyone's deserted me, moved on, but I go ten steps forward and eleven back.and literally that could just be from a family member failing to show curtesy or thought.
People are missing manners!!

I'm a chipper person most days but I can't help feel that if anyone sat down an actually asked me "are u really ok" id melt into tears and not be able to pinpoint it all-

I'm sorry for this long one- I just want anyone/someone to tell me if they felt this, what it is/could be and how I solve it!! I think a mixture of loneliness/sadness/frustration/

I tried OLD and that is more fustrating than ever due to the b.s that men tell u on there ........
I'm lost Sad

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 06/04/2016 19:18

I'm a chipper person most days but I can't help feel that if anyone sat down an actually asked me "are u really ok" id melt into tears and not be able to pinpoint it all

Flowers

Do you have anyone who you feel you can say to them "I'm not coping" and feel they would give you the emotional support you need?

I think you are feeling lonely and sad, but you are reacting defensively and turning that sadness into anger instead. In some ways that's healthy because you're not turning it inward, but obviously it doesn't do much for your relationships and it's exhausting being constantly on the verge of anger.

OhGodNotAnotherUserName · 06/04/2016 19:24

Hi Hack

You have my sympathies. Tbh I could have written your post myself as am feeling particularly pissed off with everyone at the moment too! Why can't people just behave bloody normally?!

Not very helpful response I know, but you are definitely not on your own. Life can be bloody hard sometimes and sometimes I think it could be so much easier if it wasn't for all the shit you get from other people... xx

Original poster
Gohackyourself · 06/04/2016 19:28

Pocket saviour,
I think that's exactly right.

I have no one - I have friends but I realise that there's only so much they can listen to(they listened when the marriage was breaking down) a few are too shallow - my best friend has moved 100 miles away and it's been a bit of a one way street on communication an visits as she's busy starting a new life.

My dad bought my brother and I up and sees me as the stronger older one- we were close but he's always been very hard /harsh on me compared to my brothers and sisters - ive gotta pick myself up and dust down to be strong for him most of time with his moans in life :-(

So I guess that compounds it all- to have no one to share it with :-(

OP posts:
Original poster
Gohackyourself · 06/04/2016 19:30

Ohgod....
I feel people have really let their politeness/manners morals slip and I sort of expect it out in my working world.... But it irks me that even some of my family members are just so rude in taking days to reply... Etc

OP posts:
springydaffs · 06/04/2016 19:37

ooh yes I identify with this!

As pocket says, anger is good. In the scheme of things. Rather that than depression = anger turned inwards.

Sometimes anger is an entirely appropriate response. Friends haven't tipped up during a tough time? Fuckers!

It sounds to me you're not getting enough coming in. You're giving out but no-one's giving you the good stuff back. (How do I know this??)

It seems to me - and I'm sorry to say it - but it really does seem like unless you're in a relationship you're not in line for the good stuff. It's such a couple-centric society. I honestly thought I'd find fulfilling friendships even though not in a relationship. It seems not. Most of my single friends are so busy trying not to be needy they're too cool - and, anyway, holding out for The One. Sigh. Married friends can see me as a nice little sideline, like a good book.

It pisses me off Angry

Original poster
Gohackyourself · 06/04/2016 19:45

Exactly right springy - feel no love , ever, at all :-( I've two sons I love dearly and run round after - but their too young to understand how to help on their part.

It's just so bloody draining being a tightly wrapped coil waiting to go off :-(

OP posts:
Spandexpants007 · 06/04/2016 19:47

This is going to sound daft but I think you need to find inner peace. Choose to be calm and peaceful. Look towards meditation and mindfulness. Excercise can help with endorphins and emotions. Even a steady daily 20 minute walk.

Graciously accept that others text late. Choose not to get would up about it. Choose not to react or care.

Spandexpants007 · 06/04/2016 19:48

Also talk. Ring your best friend for a heart to heart.

Original poster
Gohackyourself · 06/04/2016 19:52

I've tried it- but as she's like me , we re very good at pretending everything fine, tbh I've also got to point where if she can't see it then it's our loss on our friendship.

OP posts:
grounddown · 06/04/2016 19:53

I feel the same. I'm so fed up.
This afternoon the DC were with their dad and I was feeling so irrationally angry I put my running shoes on and ran as fast as I could as far as I could. It usually helps but I just felt angry about being out of breath instead.

SleepyAlpaca · 06/04/2016 20:01

Increased irritability and anger can be a sign of depression- worth talking to your GP? You can now get online CBT quite quickly which you may find helpful.

Original poster
Gohackyourself · 06/04/2016 20:38

Sleepy - again I agree with you.

I agree with everyone's thoughts on it all.
I've had councelling in the past 15 yrs ago for PND and occasionally go onto antidepressants.im not currently on those.
At the moment this feels more anger, jealousy of everyone and their lives which makes me sound so vile.

OP posts:
BabyGanoush · 06/04/2016 20:46

I remember feeling like this when I had PND

I remember thinking often:"if one person just showed a bit of kindness to me, a genuine "how are you", I would melt into a puddle of tears"

Also:" if someone kind would say: "I'll look after you, this is too much for you all by yourself" I'd leave everything behind and go with them"

Sometimes that feeling creeps back.... It's almost like a bit of the PND has always stayed with me...Sad

I can also feel very angry at times and want to run away. But it's rare now.

Basically with time it has been getting better, by being very very kind to myself (in my mind and actions, I had to learn to be more "selfish" in life.)

Original poster
Gohackyourself · 06/04/2016 20:55

I've hit 40 and decided to be more selfish at times.

Reality is as much as ex-dh is a complete twunt- he has ds on regular nights- planned - so I have time for myself, I occasionally meet friends , usually though just catch up indoors, reading etc etc.also eating :-(
I just can't seem to find anything that restores long term happiness- just short term relief.
Oh what to do:-(
I have a helpline at work whom I shall call tomorrow or Friday- maybe get referred to OH to talk to someone.
I always feel better after some chatting for a while but every 18 months or so get into this funk.

OP posts:
Spandexpants007 · 06/04/2016 20:58

Excercise!!!! For Endorphins.

Spandexpants007 · 06/04/2016 20:59

Meditation. Makes a huge difference.

Original poster
Gohackyourself · 06/04/2016 21:07

You make it sound so easy spandex Sad

OP posts:
grounddown · 06/04/2016 21:09

"Jealousy of everyone and their lives"
Yep, me too. My DC are fab but that's it, apart from my nicely paid but dead end job that's all my life is.
I'd like to find a man but have no idea how plus my life is so flipping boring I've literally got nothing to offer. Bored.

Spandexpants007 · 06/04/2016 21:11

I jog daily. 22 minutes is all I can manage but it makes all the difference.

Mediate for 10 minutes at 7am daily.

Small things

Parsley1234 · 06/04/2016 21:16

God I feal like loads of you - bored yep lacking in motivation - yep irritated -yep seems like I have no inner peace no joy no motivation. I wish I could regain my mojo I look at pictures of my son starting school 9 years ago and I can remember fealing optimistic and energised now I just feal worn down and fed up , wanting change not knowing how to

Original poster
Gohackyourself · 06/04/2016 21:36

So apart from running and meditation- has anyone found any miracle cures?

OP posts:
grounddown · 06/04/2016 21:38

Red wine Grin

Spandexpants007 · 06/04/2016 21:43

Are you getting enough sleep?

Original poster
Gohackyourself · 06/04/2016 21:50

Yes my sleeping is more than fine-Smile

OP posts:
WillIEverBeASizeTen · 06/04/2016 21:54

Another here..angry and bitter..I'm blaming mine on the menopause but you're not there yet OP..
I second the inner peace and meditation, but I just don't have the motivation to do it.

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