Just so angry

[Gohackyourself]

Hi,

I'm not really sure where/how to even start with this-

Everything annoys me... From people not replying back to me by text when I asked something- to my parents (just visiting turns into a verbal bun fight of opinions on life per se)
The general public I deal with at work in challenging situations can be really aggressive and it makes me angry.

I'm also dissapointed in people who I thought were friends and family- I split up 2 years ago- it had been v messy in my relationship for a few years and is a relief to split- but I'm on own now and find it all quite challenging at times of working f/t, challenging job, looking after children and home.
I get free time so that's not an issue.

I seem to be angry that everyone's deserted me, moved on, but I go ten steps forward and eleven back.and literally that could just be from a family member failing to show curtesy or thought.
People are missing manners!!

I'm a chipper person most days but I can't help feel that if anyone sat down an actually asked me "are u really ok" id melt into tears and not be able to pinpoint it all-

I'm sorry for this long one- I just want anyone/someone to tell me if they felt this, what it is/could be and how I solve it!! I think a mixture of loneliness/sadness/frustration/

I tried OLD and that is more fustrating than ever due to the b.s that men tell u on there ........
I'm lost

I feel like this. I'm just furious all the time and my family are pulling me up on it and it's making me worse!

Interesting that it was mentioned up thread about anxiety making you angry - can relate to that.

Yoga and meditation would just piss me right off but the best thing for me is to get out with the dogs for hours at a time and get lost in the fields. It is like therapy to see them gooning about with each other and other dogs and I feel myself slowly uncoil. Then as soon as I walk in the front door something sets me off again!

Oh and I self medicate with red wine!

I have no desire to study again- I can't mentally apply myself at present with shift work,children and dogs
if it helps my brain always feels in bits- 101 things going through it at any one time.poor concentration, bad short term memory too.
I do think it's an anxiety based issue too.the permanently coiled spring feeling.

I also do think it's true that I just need some plain loving- not sex- just some genuine care attention /cuddles and kind words.some closeness- I think half of it would go then.
I can't recall in years when someone actually cuddled me- I think I'd actually pay for that rather than a degree

I think for starters then you probably need some anti-depressants? They will hopefully level you out but it won't be an instant fix per se.
I often feel the need to get off the fast-spinning world, everyone just seems to want a piece of you so I understand your frazzled feeling. I'm not sure what else to suggest. I've been so long without a cuddle that I don't miss them anymore! Not sure whether that's a good or a bad thing though.

I never thought about them /it before now- but writing it down makes you realise the little things sometimes that your missing too.dont worry on "not sure what else to suggest" you have all been very great an helpful in listening to my mini rant- thank you

I highly recommend this book The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living

It definitely helped me clamber out of PND.

Sounds like an interesting read!

Thanks run rabbit.
I don't have PND - my oldest is 16 but I had it then with him very seriously.
All done with that bit now!

Get a book called " what colour is my parachute?" It's really good. It is structured and interesting and completely selfish:)

Also, make a list of the things you like doing and do them. Even if it's ironing:)

Um, what you're looking for, you won't find by OLD. You need to stretch your mind a bit. Look up free online courses and just do one for the sake of it, that you like. Decide in May you will explore Shakespeare and organise yourself.
In June, exploers of the pole, find books, exhibitions, talks, then move on.

In summer fossils, to tie in with a a day at the beach. Or follow hadrians wall having read about it etc. Or Charles 11 battles and go and see a re enactment.

You'll find what you like:)

I think you have it there Gohack: not enough love.

No amount of parachutes or yoga is going to address that, is it?

I catch myself being prickly - and I know it's because I don't have enough love in my life. But then again, a little goes a long way. Can you put yourself in line for some kindness, some nurturing? Perhaps start with yourself being kind and nurturing to yourself

Have you considered counselling? It might help you deal with the anger.

Exercise also helps. A punch bag is highly recommended.

Hi OP,
I was like this, still am sometimes. So angry and irritable, I'm the eldest and everyone in my family, husband kids parents rely on me for emotional support, expect me to cope.
Had PND and couldn't cope with the fact that no one really tried with me as much as I would with them.
I'm naturally quite cynical and was never interested in anything 'woo' but I was starting to really dislike myself and how I snapped at people, constantly felt like there was a cloud in my head ready to descend and make me horrible.
I started going to yoga and honestly, the second class I started to feel better. All sorts were there, older men, overweight ladies, - it's really inclusive, not the Gwyneth Paltrow types I expected.
Just go 3 or 4 times, it won't make you feel worse I promise.
Tell the teacher you're a beginner, they are usually lovely

Of course yoga and excercise can help.

There's a saying about us being the sum of the 5 closest people. Make sure the people closest to you are positive and loving. Nurture yourself. Read a self help book this weekend.

Think you need to accept that the public you deal with and your parents and just harder work and hold them at arms distance.

Oh my word - if we're the sum of 5 people- I can only count two really and 1 of them was negative all of time.oh well.
After weds nights bun fight at my parents - I realise that their bad negative actions always get covered over by the BS of "I done the best I could brining you up in the circumstances " - which is true- but what about now? I get no love, true caring parental happy for you love.
I just listen to a repeat record of moans and groans about their life at present.
So after typing here etc i realise they are negative so gonna try steer wider.
The public... Well their public and take for granted all of the situations we re placed in - that's life.
I've downloaded a meditation app and after today I have no heavy obligations aside from work so find some time for myself to read and investigate some fitness classes etc

Your parents sound a nightmare! Taking a huge step back from them will help.

Lots of time to read this weekend sounds good. With the meditation and excersise, it might take a few days/weeks to get into it but persevere. First thing in the morning is a great time for meditation.

Can you also have long baths, long walks and do some other things to feel nice. Funny film or new hair cut? You're a bit like an empty vase right now, you're given so much you're empty but you need to refill.

Can I join too please. I could have written lots of the posts above. I've been single for twelve years. Very few dates in that time never mind relationships. I yearn for intimacy. Someone to love me but it's just not happened. It makes me feel so sad. I don't imagine it will happen for me now. I keep hearing you don't know what's round the corner. Which makes me laugh because I've been hearing that for over a decade. Now I'm just lonely. I don't think ad's are the answer. I'm a firm believer they're great for clinical depression but I'm not depressed. I'm lonely, sad and quite isolated. I don't know what the answer is. I would love someone to wave a magic wand.

Adeline- just putting some bits here has helped.
Could you practice any of the tips I'm going to have to practice to get out of this mindset?

I think 5 is just some random made up number actually and it could be anything 3 or 8 or whatever . Can you concentrate on your kids, your positive friend. Then seek out other generally positive people.

Hi adel. Do you have hobbies/friends that you meet up with? Do you have a pet?

I've had to really drag myself out of the doldrums last year. One of the biggest things for me was learning to say no to other peoples demands. Making space for myself

That's what I do anyhow!!
Am meeting my last good friend (male) tonight for dinner.kids off to dads- meeting friend for lunch tomorrow- and then I'm about to get this show on road and sort it !!

I'll update on Sunday if I've found out some bits- I know it probably won't matter- but it's been helpful writing it here !

Thanks all. i do have pets, I work full time, I have a teenager. I also have friends. There's only so much complaining I can do. I tried meditation. It bored me . I go for walks with the dog daily. I spend time with friends ocassionally. I'm just bumbling on but loneliness is the biggest problem. I would love just to have one intimate relationship. my best friend got married a few years ago and I miss our closeness. We're still close but just don't chat every day and go out all the time. A hobby would be good. I love seeing but feel a social hobby will probably benefit me better.

It's been really helpful writing here. Thank you.

I was like this before Christmas. I was just so miserable and angry at everything for making me miserable.

I have been taking some antidepressants that have really helped take the anger away. The ones I take are called Molipaxin. They unscramble all the thoughts in my head so I can stop unintentionally bullying myself.

Also, I hate to mention it because I know it sounds like hippy horseshit, but exercise and Yoga have actually really helped me. Also eating better. Cutting out alcohol. And just being nicer to myself. Tidying less. Going for a facial. Treating myself to something, even if it is just a book from a charity shop.

And trying to think about things that make me angry from the most generous point of view to the other person. It might not always change the facts, but it's a much more peaceful way to think.

Very good points petrol

Funny that I no longer crave intimacy... I wonder if there's something wrong with me? I'd rather be on my own and happy than with a male counterpart. I never want to be in another relationship ever again. But I guess that's just my self-preservation tactic! I've also tried to teach my DD that she should never want to/have to rely on someone else financially. Never to accept being second-best. Guess I'll get a slating for saying that, but I sure don't want her to make the same mistakes I did.

I go through phases draughty. And I think those are good lessons to teach your daughter. I've had to manage financially alone and I will never settle for second best. Both positive qualities I think.