Just so angry

[Gohackyourself]

Hi,

I'm not really sure where/how to even start with this-

Everything annoys me... From people not replying back to me by text when I asked something- to my parents (just visiting turns into a verbal bun fight of opinions on life per se)
The general public I deal with at work in challenging situations can be really aggressive and it makes me angry.

I'm also dissapointed in people who I thought were friends and family- I split up 2 years ago- it had been v messy in my relationship for a few years and is a relief to split- but I'm on own now and find it all quite challenging at times of working f/t, challenging job, looking after children and home.
I get free time so that's not an issue.

I seem to be angry that everyone's deserted me, moved on, but I go ten steps forward and eleven back.and literally that could just be from a family member failing to show curtesy or thought.
People are missing manners!!

I'm a chipper person most days but I can't help feel that if anyone sat down an actually asked me "are u really ok" id melt into tears and not be able to pinpoint it all-

I'm sorry for this long one- I just want anyone/someone to tell me if they felt this, what it is/could be and how I solve it!! I think a mixture of loneliness/sadness/frustration/

I tried OLD and that is more fustrating than ever due to the b.s that men tell u on there ........
I'm lost

Do you have any hobbies or have thought of taking up a new one? Voluntary work? You need to do what makes you happy. Happiness comes from within, other people aren't responsible for our own happiness and we're not responsible for theirs. Sounds like I'm preaching but I repeat this mantra to myself regularly when I feel I'm on the slippery slope.
I think sometimes it's the gradual realisation that actually no-one really gives a flying f**k about anyone these days. I spend a lot of time teaching/showing my DD that she doesn't need anyone else to be happy. Life is a gift, do with it what you will, and make/live each day like it's your last.

Baseball bat on the bed?

I'm not kidding! I once did a course where we did this all week - whacked giant cushions with a baseball bat (cushions = Mother, Father, Ex-Husband, etc) and it was bloody miraculous for getting all the shit out.

NB: an essential part of this exercise is to allow what comes out of your mouth to come out unchecked. It's surprising what you say.

Or you could try kickboxing.

Sorry, pp, but any thoughts of zen/peace just really doesn't suit me when I'm in an angry funk. Better to release the energy first.

I have accepted that very close friends don't wish me HB... Busy, different countries, different life styles.
And I became sad, not angry but sad... Even a man I dated didn't wish HB, I turned him down. That made me more sad, and I think I was/am depressed.
What I learnt if not to care, accept that people can be forgetful, have their own issues and problems.
I'm telling myself one thing: don't expect a lot.

I walk a lot... Makes me peaceful. Camomile tea instead of coffee.
Hoping to start meditation.

There are many rude people, you can't be upset with everybody.
If they are rude, the show who they are...

Imo relationship won't go well if you are angry, find your inner peace and happiness by accepting that you are enough.

Good luck,

Honestly, I had inner peace for quite a while...... I've just got to a point where it's hard to continually practice it I guess- I'm giving everything to everyone and nothing comes in.
I think the acting like no one is going to give a shit is fine to a point- but that can become an angry act in itself - teaching children that to a point is ok - but then it can breed another generation of kids that don't give a shit about anybody else.
It's not "sensitive" on my part- I'm just bought up a different /old school way of manners/moral/politeness (an I'm a cockney!) it's very tough too if you work in an emergency service and really only deal with the negative ppl of society , it enforces crap feelings even more .theres only so much your shoulders can deflect.

My ds is off to his fathers at the weekend an I have a week to sort this mood out (I'll be working too).

Unfortunately I can't practice meditation- I just can't slow my mental processes down enough to have ever been able to do it.

I will be focusing on my diet this week and excersise, maybe that will kickstart it all.

being cast as the strong one and not being allowed out of that role is very unfair. Counselling cd help you recast yourself in a more balanced way. Also single parents have to slog on by themselves but there are groups where we can share the pain.

I was the same. My brain was too whizzy to meditate. I was told just to observe and let the thought pass. Bring my thoughts back to my breathing each time my mind wonders off.

Yes, I see what you're saying, but I show/teach DD that it's also important to help others when she can, and be polite, as manners cost nothing as I'm old school too. I've also said not to ever expect too much from others. I've been severely shat on in the past and I now try and surround myself with people who lift me up not drag me down. But in your case, I think the job that you do doesn't allow you to do that. Do they offer counselling at all? I'm sorry not to be able to offer any other help/advice, I have no family apart from DD, and no close friends, so I tend to counsel myself!! People would perhaps perceive me as quite batty! I'm sure your reaction is quite normal.

Draughty- I do exactly the same...
After my own mother walked out on my brother and I for an affair when I was 7- I'd learnt not to trust ppl - it took many years of self councelling and councelling to be able to trust again and I just feel ppl abuse that little speck of trust I put in them.
Definitely correct on down time from job mentally- they do offer councelling but long waiting lists unless it's after a trauma/assault/incident.

Ah, if you are working with the emergency services (and only see people in extremis on a daily basis) you could be suffering from a bit of burnout. Do you get good supervision? Perhaps access stressbusting services in line with your job?

They do look out for you, don't they? Tell me they look out for you and it isn't a macho culture...

OP, I'm slightly concerned they don't recognise 'burn-out' and only offer counselling after an 'incident'. Have you been to the doctors? What about CBT? Just wondering if that would help. Or NLP maybe? Whereabouts are you? (I'm in SE and am originally from oop North where they call a spade a spade! Although I've been here 15 years, the warmth (or lack of) of people down here never ceases to amaze me).

Argh I typed a reply and it dissapeared :-(

Along the lines of it's really helped putting it down on here and your comments-
Ive gotta concoct a plan where from right now, just put one foot in front of other... Forget who hasn't etc etc shut down a bit and just consider me.
I'll give the works number a call to see if can obtain any non work related therepy.
This week from Sunday I can concentrate on just going to work /diet an fitness - take the anti d that I came off a while ago.the ds are with their dad

Hey, have a look at this! Maybe incorporate it into your health regime next week?
theearthchild.co.za/this-muscle-of-the-soul-may-be-triggering-your-fear-anxiety/

Yoga draughty ?

Think you need to concentrate on nurturing yourself and give less time to others who are negative aspects of your life.

Yes phone that work number. Sounds like you need more support.

Is it worth looking for a change job wise.

Well yes, some yoga 'positions' I guess?! (I don't do yoga - never tried it - mainly because I'd look stupid in lycra). Guessing if I tried these positions I'd fall over but you might have more luck?!

Do as I say not as I do! 😂
How old is your DS? You could have a go together, just for a laugh. My lounge isn't big enough to swing a cat let alone do yoga - that's my other excuse...

Lol draughty!!!
I'll investigate over next day or so although I always feel it's a bit .... Meh.... Think it would be good to buy a meditation cd though.
Spandex no chance on job.... I actually like my job and the money is very good as I've been in a long time /pension etc .

Whale music?

Lol Lo that's pushing it bow

Now!! D'oh

So what hobbies do you have? Things you like to do? Things you want to do but have never got round to trying/doing?

Oh draughty - I'm boring- I have no hobbies , years of shift work have made it a bit hard to participate in anything.
I read and walk the dogs but that's all.
I hate the gym but I'm beginning to see the attraction of why ppl go- because if their at home they don't do excersise - it gets them out of the house etc

Star jumps in the kitchen.... (I'm not an organised exercise fan as you can probably tell... I spend much of my life either working, cooking, cleaning, mucking out and walking dogs etc so that's enough for me!)
So do you have any burning desire to start up a hobby? I only say that because I have too many hobbies already and in addition wanted to learn how to make stained glass...but all the courses available were during the day when I work Or what about doing a degree in something that really interests you? Just trying to find out what ignites your passion that's all!