DP searching for me online. Hi there.

[WalkingBlind]

So basically I've had issues from the start with DP and the Internet. He once checked my FB messages and swore he'd never break my trust again (found nothing, I'm pretty boring). He then sent me an anonymous Tumblr message (think it asked me if I'd cheated?).

He signed up to a chat room I was using to check up on me and didn't let me know it was him. But I knew. I'm quite perceptive so I tried saying things to wind him up and see if it would get him to storm upstairs and confess/have a go, no such luck. He's still never mentioned it.

Now I know he's been reading all my MN posts. (So hello there Mr "of course I trust you"). He's definitely reading this. Clearly searched for someone that sounds like me in the threads. I don't have anything to hide so I'm identifiable. But obviously we mostly expect to stay anonymous here.

I only know because he isn't as sly as he thinks and brings up things I've only ever said on here. I have vented about him which I didn't think would bite me in the ass but it's nothing I wouldn't say to his face anyway (I've brought up most things with him long before posting for advice when I'm upset).

So MN'ers.... I feel a bit violated privacy-wise, especially considering I'd show him if he asked and that he's pretended he's not doing precisely what he's doing. In my eyes he hasn't brought it up on purpose so that he can continue to use it to check up on me? Why not just speak to me

This is so dysfunctional. Would this be a dealbreaker for anyone? Do any of you feel we share too much here sometimes? What would you do if your DP was reading your posts? (Clearly I'm not bothered about him knowing I've posted this )

He's not a mute lol, he does speak to me, I meant he doesn't talk about problems,etc. He's mentioned bits from posts about my daughter's behaviour or contraception for example. Likely without realising that's only something I've typed and not said out loud.

I don't have a MN app, I just use my browser but yeah if he purposely opened my phone, opened my Internet and typed MN Web address in then he would find me. But he's not gonna do that accidentally He also hasn't used my phone in a long time as far as I know.

And I did mention that I swiped his phone open last night to see if I was right and he had an open tab with my username in the search bar and everything I'd ever commented on/posted displayed. If I'd have used his phone simply to use the calender/calculator I would have seen that. And I still felt awful but it's not something I'm keeping a secret clearly as he can see what I'm writing (and we'll talk about it later)

Buzzard I never thought that he would ever be capable of it but now what else am I meant to think. Trust is so important, once that's gone there's not much left eh

Just wanted to say I know how you feel op. It's a horrible feeling. Good luck with talking to him about it.

In my case my ex used it as a stick to beat me with, especially when we actually broke up. I think him reading what everyone thought of him just made him extremely angry (the truth hurts). I hope your partner doesn't have the same reaction.

My ex checking up on me gave me all I needed to know about what he was up to.

How did it go op?

In my case going on MN was used as an example of my inability to think for myself. In one case he actually started his own thread to validate what he thought was his correct viewpoint and was shot down in flames. From then on he did everything in his power to get me off this website. Mostly he just disparages it. He claims not to stalk me online anymore but I am not convinced.

This is truly horrible OP. I think you're trying to be good-hearted and reasonable about it, but actually I think you need to scream and shout and yell - at your nasty, insecure, controlling, peculiar wanker of a husband.

If he's doing this, what else is he doing? going through your clothes? your handbag? Who else in your family is he doing it to? You mention your daughter - is it his DD?

maybe he's going through all her private things too - diary, knicker drawer etc etc.

This is really, really not good.

Mine actually gave my use of MN as a reason for divorce

beach that's more than unfortunate. It's not your name you need to change, it's your bf

beach that's more than unfortunate. It's not your name you need to change, it's your bf

This! Beach that is soooo not ok

If he is so controlling, or jealous or even insecure that tracks your internet, then he will be eaves-dropping on your phone calls, checking the mail, he is literally reading your virtual diary.
You have already told him you aren' happy about it, he continues. he apparently has no wish to treat you other than a "belonging".
evidently he doesn't trust you or respect you.
So personally I would kick this specimen to touch,
It will only get worse
when he has a new baby, you would have thought there are better things to occupy him-

maybe I got it wrong about the baby, sorry

Have you had a chance to speak with him about this OP? Hope you're OK