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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Some Warmer Weather, Staying Sober Togeher

999 replies

Mouseface · 30/03/2016 00:05

Hi, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Bus. We're delighted to have you here :) Not because if you're new to the Babes you are here for help, but because we welcome every kind of drinker. And for all of the reasons life throws at you.

Those that do drink, those that don't drink and of course those who do but don't want to say just how much..............

We've all had our own personal Groundhog Day , some still are and don't want to remain trapped in the same cycle day in, day out, and some still are and want to be which is fine and why we're here.

To talk, to listen, to just be us, like you are YOU. You never know, one day you might just want to wake up on a different day? :) There's no judging here, no 'sides.

After all, something made you click on and read this :)

Come say hi! We even do Brew & Cake if you're super quick!!

And if you want to see what we got up to in the last thread, have a look RIGHT HERE

And this is where our adventure began, almost six years ago now!!

ALMOST SIX YEARS AGO...........

OP posts:
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lalaladidah · 14/04/2016 23:12

Horrid to say it but I am glad it is not just me who gets the anxiety... It's fecking horrible. When I don't drink I feel great, but even if I have one or two glasses the next day woe betide me, I feel wobbly and my heart races. I have just been away on holiday, and spent the majority of it sleeping in a darkened room because I couldn't face going out unless I had had a drink. Wasted my whole week. Awful isn't it? May as well have stayed at home. Sorry, I am very doom and gloom this evening after a horrible encounter with my unlovely mother who just called me a worthless piece of shit and that it was my fault my father left her... I am only on my second small glass of wine so I think I am being very restrained. Although there is a lovely bottle of fizzy water by my bed, perhaps I shall drink that instead.

WillAndDisgrace · 14/04/2016 23:20

Drink the fizzy water!. I think it might have been MIFLAW who said "only drinking can make a bad situation worse". So if you are drinking to feel better then don't....

I may have got that the quote wrong, and the quotee but you get my drift I hope

lalaladidah · 14/04/2016 23:23

Yep. Fizzy water has been consumed... Now a choice of going downstairs and waking the dog up, or drinking the rest of the wine, or refilling fizzy water bottle from the tap... Exciting life choices.

Elba84 · 15/04/2016 00:00

Not an AF night after all Blush and I was so totally determined this morning (and actually looking forward to it!). Thought process was yet again to buy some beers 'just in case' even though I knew exactly what that meant. Even added a token soft drink to my shopping in case I changed my mind on the drive home. Got home and straight away opened a beer.

will you haven't let us (or you) down but I do (I think) understand why you felt that. I feel guilty as Ive had so much support then said I'd not drink and I have. On several occasions. will have a bacon butty ready (or shall we head for a full English??)

venus thank you. I think the fear of new habits and behaviours has been so massive that it's stopped me even trying in the past. It's all just my crap way of coping with life but it's deeply ingrained. But hopefully having managed a couple of AF nights I have gained a bit of momentum, and I think I'm realising that the fear of not changing or addressing this is far worse.

lalaladidah · 15/04/2016 00:09

I know I am a newbie to this thread, but elba you completely sum it up. That joy of being AF for a day or whatever. And feeling great. Then no matter how determined you feel, you completely crumble, and ruin it all again. I did this on tues. Was bright eyed and bushy tailed (ish) and then caved and drank a bottle of wine. Then felt rough as crap all day. Luckily I am holidays at the mo. Had a difficult morning and afternoon today... Held off as long as I could, but hey presto, here I am glass still in hand... Sorry, I know I am a newbie and I seem to be typing essays Blush

WillAndDisgrace · 15/04/2016 00:22

Don't apologise lala, it's early days so be kind to yourself...

Saying that, elba I may need a fry up as the dancing can just danced it's last jig!! Ugh, how am I going to cover that up in the morning from DH ??? I could just put it back on the wine rack in the fridge (open end facing inwards)

Elba84 · 15/04/2016 01:12

Hey lala don't apologise for writing essays...I do all the time! For me it's the only place I've ever been honest with myself or others. I only started posting a couple of months ago but I've said things here that I'd never ever say in real life, and I've had such amazing support. Please keep posting. Its just an exhausting cycle really isn't it between drinking, trying not to drink, succeeding, failing etc etc etc.

will I love the way you write, always makes me smile. I would personally put the can back with the open end hidden somewhere, hope DH doesn't notice, then replace in the morning (disclaimer a sensible person would probably say don't hide it, be honest etc). Or just hide it somewhere and when he asks imply he's forgotten he's drunk it already. Or fill it with water and leave it upright in the fridge and hope no one notices (they will Blush Blush). (Voice of experience Blush)
See you for that fry up!

Elba84 · 15/04/2016 02:23

Very drunk. GP phoning in am with more result, I'm such an idiot.

Rarity75 · 15/04/2016 06:54

Morning all. elba and will hope you are both ok today.
Good luck with the GP elba Flowers

ClaretAndBlue30 · 15/04/2016 07:18

sausages sizzling and beans bubbling away

Hope those that struggled last night are ok this morning, dig into some grub and climb back on board. Flowers to anyone who needs them.

So for me we have arrived at...duh duh duh...the dreaded weekend....tonight may be tough but I'm trying to not overthink it...its just another night right?

ClaretAndBlue30 · 15/04/2016 07:18

And elba hope the doctors go ok, thinking of you.

Bloodybloodyhell · 15/04/2016 07:25

Morning all.

Passes Elba, Will and Lala a cup of tea

After another crummy night's sleep, I do feel a bit brighter this morning - this not drinking lark is allowing all sorts of emotional stuff to re-surface. I suppose normally, I'd feel a bit blue / angry / whatever - and just open a bottle of wine. Now I'm having to sit with it all and think it all through. Bleurgh.

Challenging day for me today - Friday evenings are normally full of Prosecco and then wine. But it's day 5 - and I WON'T BE DRINKING.

Who's with me? Peppermint tea / sparkling water party around 8pm, anyone?! Rarity, you in?! Xx

Elba - hope your test results are Ok, thinking of you.

Laters all,

X

Bloodybloodyhell · 15/04/2016 07:29

Claret - you and me both.

It is just another night.

Let's do it together, eh? And whoever else fancies it too. It'll be my first sober Friday night for, well, 20 years?? Blush

We CAN do it.

X

ClaretAndBlue30 · 15/04/2016 08:13

Sounds perfect bloody I'll get my extra pretty Pom poms out should anyone need a bit of cheerleading.

For weekends in the past I've found planning extra special distractions work best - favourite meal, favourite soft drink in a fancy glass, sweets, a good film...you get the jist. So you can enjoy the Friday feeling just without the booze. And you think it feels good waking up on a weekday with no hangover? Just you wait for that hangover free Saturday feeling Grin

Paffle · 15/04/2016 08:30

Hi all. Well done all for keeping posting, even when it's hard and you're disappointed. No one lets anyone else down - we just all go on being our imperfect selves.

The emotions were one of the hardest aspects of going AF for me. Suddenly you have to experience them and deal with them without your alcoholic anaesthetic of choice. That's why a lot of people find AA helps - it helps you to share your emotions and learn how to deal with them.

5:2 is ok so far (week 2) although I do tend to go to bed very early on the fast days. Like going AF I guess!!

Tangfastics · 15/04/2016 08:56

I will not be drinking tonight.

Rarity75 · 15/04/2016 09:04

I'm up for the tea/fruity water party!!

I am planning treats tonight, hot bath, chocolate, maybe a large pepperoni pizza for tea.

Granchester or chick flick on tv not decided. May do some knitting.

ClaretAndBlue30 · 15/04/2016 09:17

Ooo maybe tonight's the night I'll finally pick up those knitting needles!!

Rarity75 · 15/04/2016 09:43

Go for it Claret!! Once you are 'hooked' the hours fly by! Grin

WillAndDisgrace · 15/04/2016 10:10

Thanks for the tea and breakfast...thanks bloody & claret

Elba I have a seat next to me ready for you. I hope the call from the doctor was ok.

Well!!!! Last night taught me one thing...there's no real pleasure in drinking for me. Don't know why I did it, I don't feel I had a good night and now I have a fuzzy head and feel guilty.

But that was yesterday and today is a new day and I WILL DEFINITELY NOT BE DRINKING!!!

I'm going to re stock my elderflower supply and join you all for fruit tea!

At least that stupid dancing can is dead

lalaladidah · 15/04/2016 10:57

Meh. That is all. Feel awful this morning. All wobbly and crap. Luckily I don't have much planned for today, except a doctors appointment (unrelated reasons) later. Very jealous of all those who are bright eyed and clear headed, and sympathy for those who aren't. Will try not to drink today...

Elba84 · 15/04/2016 10:58

No phone call yet, but anxiety is probably a million times worse thanks to last night. will was just thinking the same yesterday that there isn't any pleasure in drinking anymore, it's more of a compulsion.

Feeling rough today, had been looking forward to a day off with a clear head but that's out the window Sad

lala how are you doing this morning?

Newmamatobe · 15/04/2016 11:24

Hi everyone!

I do find it hard sometimes not having that outlet to just grab a bottle of wine and check out for a few hours! Full of a head cold and up all night with DD...

Doing this on my own is really hard at times, hardly leaving the house yet and she's almost ten weeks...

One thing with stopping drinking is getting all my feelings back - that's a good and bad thing - not numbing it out?!?!

It was no life before so soldier on I shall!!

Guys who are not feeling so great - big hugs xx

lalaladidah · 15/04/2016 11:29

elba I am also going to curl up if that is ok. Just about summoned the strength to come downstairs and make a coffee. Thank god I have the day off! But sometimes I think that makes it worse, knowing I don't really have any plans so I can drink to my heart's content. Then spend the day feeling horrible and hating myself. Actually even when I do have plans, I do the same. Argh. Why do we do it to ourselves? Knowing full well how shit it will make us feel as well as the damage it is doing to our bodies? Feeling very sorry for myself this morning and guilty. I am having my very own self-pity party.

WillAndDisgrace · 15/04/2016 11:35

lala come sit with us....we can all have a little self pitty but only for a little bit.....then the squid is coming out.

Lots of water today! Get out and let's get some fresh air...have we git plans to keep us busy? Can't sit all day feeling sorry for ourselves so let's focus on the next day/hour/minute of not drinking...

WE CAN DO IT BABES!!

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