Ok, it wasnt working and now its finished.

[charliecat]

Me and dp have been grumbling along for years. Its not been great for years. But we have 2 dds and we have stayed together for them I guess.
But its got to the point where I cant do it anymore. And hes miserable too.
Constant nagging and negativity from him and exasperation from me.
So Ive said its over. Its not working.
So hes gone, and he keeps ringing, ranging from...Oh im in a mess here...and Ive got every right to feel fucked off ...bla bla...
Just need to vent thats all.

Oh Charliecat
Have you decided living arrangements and all that stuff or has he quite suddenly left (although clearly it's been brewing for a while)?
How are you feeling?

Hes just left in the car, said he wont be back tonight, have no idea where hes gone but hes just rang again saying sorry, but the next call will probably be abuse.
Im tearful, but it really isnt working.
And the kids have saw one to many vile word slanging matches.

i'm so sorry charliecat

you've obviously thought long and hard about this decision though and not asked him to leave lightly so i'm sure after the initial adjustment period things will be so much better for you and your dd's.

don't let him guilt trip you with phone calls, just don't answer the phone til he learns that he can't just ring you whining and complaining.

Oh I'm so sorry CC. Have you got someone who could come round and have a cuppa with you - and give you a damn great hug?

Turn your mobile off & unplug the house phone. deal with him when you have more energy to. All the best

You lot listenings my big hug. Dont want to talk to anyone in RL just yet. Will only cry and not be able to talk straight...
Big sigh and ive put the kettle on.

Thinking of you Charliecat.

I agree with the turning the phone thing off. Give yourself some space to come to terms with what has happened without being pressured.

I also agree with the tea idea. Take a while to have a breather. It's a big emotional thing you're going through at the moment and you will need all your strength to get through it both for your sake and for the sakes of your DCs.

All the best x

Oh CC am sorry to hear this but you are right, if it's not working then there is no point.

I agree with unplugging/not answering phone for a while at least.

Phones stopped ringing...Ive text and said if hes got nowhere to go to come back here. But dont be nasty. Its not fair that im sitting here nice and warm and hes driving about aimlessly.
Hes said he needs to sort his head out.
Thanks for your posts. Nice to know someones listening

2 hours later ive moved on to being sad. Shame something that started so well has to end so nastily.

Sorry to hear this cc. I gathered from some of your recent posts things weren't great.

Oh charliecat.

I think you can expect to feel lots of things before this thing reaches any kind of stable resolution. And he's probably feeling lots of conflicting things too- even though being nasty and abusive towards you isn't the answer. The first few days will be the time to muddle through and cope with the changes in mood/emotion/attitude. Let yourself get through this first bit and then start making the plans, hopefully with xdp's input. Any idea where he'll be tonight yet?

Does it help to know that there's always somebody here on MN for you? Wish I could do something practical for you. I do a mean tea and can offer you a selection of left-over Christmas goodies, even if in virtual form.

(hug) and I never hug anybody.

Sorry to hear this charliecat.

Sniff....oh god. Hes on the way up to his mums in scotland. Im in kent.
Hes fucked off because Im sitting here with the furniture, the house bla de bla and hes got nothing...understandable.
But it really really wasnt working, and its never going to. And we are both crying....fuck and arse.
But it would never work, too much shit under the bridge..
Want to fast forward 2 months see how it is then.

charliecat i really feel for you,
How are the kids?
Have they realised that he's not around anymore?
Or are they too young to understand?
Keep posting, everyone here will get you through the next two months!!!
Sorry we can't fast forward for you!!

Take care. xx

Kids are fine, playing with lego upstairs, oblivious to me sniffling down here. They are 9 and 6.
Thanks for posting. Im sitting here sniffling, but its so for the best.

It will be fine CC, I know it doesn't seem like that now and won't for a little while yet, but you and the kids will be absolutly fine.

You sound like you feel guilty that he had to leave, but don't. He is a grown up he can decide where he wants to go and what he wants to do. So you've got all the furniture, but what use is it to him right now ??

If he finds himself somewhere then you can worry about splitting up furniture then, not now.

Dunno if you have msn but you can add me [email protected] if you want to chat

Cheers nutty, i will add you in a bit. Going to take the kids for a mcdonalds for dinner....hmm...good start lol..

I think that sounds like a fantastic idea CC, just what the doctor ordered

You keep sniffling all you want!!!

If you want a chat, feel free to CAT me.

I'll also be on here later tonight when they're all in bed!!

Still sad here.
But the sensible side of me knows that its not working, but that doesnt make it hurt any less. But it cant go on like this...

do you think it might just be a bad patch you're going through?

No, SEA, this is it. Weve been up and down and up and down and now theres not a day without agro, or we just dont speak at all.

Sorry to hear it cc.

I wont smoke, promise, I know it wont help. Cheers