The ignoring....gaaaa

[jellybean2000]

That is all.
Yes, I'm divorcing him.
He will continue to stoop to whatever method he can to control, upset and anger me.
Delay, delay, delay.

I've been here for a while but NC a while ago.

And back to earth.

He will go on and on and on.

And thank you. The boost has done me good.

Well I managed the housework but DH took my ddog out for me

Good one you, life is only going to get better!!!

Struggling today

Need to go to the loo but too afraid to go into house.
I'm working in the garden office and he'll be sitting in the kitchen until about 2.45pm (when he does to collect DS2).

I stood up to him re his 1/2 text. He just came back saying the same thing - tell me 4 or 5 days.

when will you be able to answer the question? Would you reply with 'I don't know yet. Will know on 17th (or whatever)'. Then just keep repeating.

I think I might reply "please ask my solicitor". If I answer this question, he'll move onto another one - with demands for a response right away. When I ask him something (of more importance) like "are you collecting DS2 today?" I am met with a "don't know", "don't bother me", "maybe" or as the title of this thread says he'll just ignore me. I actually don't know what's right and fair or me standing up to him anymore. I just don't want to communicate with him at all.

I just went to collect DS1 and nearly had to pull over to have a good cry as I was not safe to drive. They should have a sign by the self-checkout saying "Do not use if feeling emotional". Fucking thing nearly finished me off.

Oh dear god - you poor thing.
I seriously can't imagine this.
Just keep going. You're doing great.
We are all here cheering you on.
You'll get there.
Have a good cry a bit later on and get it out.

I'm having a cry now which is crap as I have to take DS2 to Beavers soon.

This is shit and I'm not coping.

You know it won't harm your DC if they see you crying. They may be uncomfortable and sad but you are human and your emotions are normal under such circumstances.

Perhaps you should revisit moving out with DC2 and taking the car with you?

I don't mind them seeing me cry (both my parents have died in their life times, they've seen me sad), but I don't want to tell them why.....that "your father is playing emotional games with me and I don't know what to do".

Perhaps sadly you do need to, certainly with the eldest. You don't ask him to take sides, you don't use him as an emotional crutch but you can tell him the bare facts.

I don't know whether I want to wade in there.

I was reading how EA relationships affect the children. Probably shouldn't have done, it was all rather depressing.

This is so shit, I really feel for you. Keep repeating 'this will end'!

Are there any updates re timescales?

He's out today until this evening. Woo. The correlation between my mood (and ability to do anything of use!) and his presence is stark.
I shall make the most of it.

re timescales.
He has submitted some Form E stuff and we've exchanged. His is incomplete but to what extent I won't know until tomorrow. We have submitted to the Court anyway, so that will put a date in place to get things sorted out ie prevent him taking weeks to respond to a single thing.

Once we know whether we are able to start finance negotiations (they are not complicated) I will decide whether I want to proceed with an injunction.

I don't know whether I have the courage to go ahead with an occ order. That can't be done ex parte in my situation ie not immediate crisis and I don't think I can cope with him being served the papers and then having to go to Court possibly up to 10 days later and then possibly it not be granted anyway. My solicitor has my very long diary which she is reading through and will give me her opinion.

But I am feeling more inclined to go for a non-mol order which can be done ex parte, or maybe my solicitor writing to his laying down the ground rules, with a threat of injunction if he doesn't comply.

Meanwhile we have DS1's bursary renewal forms. They know the situation and have sent forms to us separately. I very much doubt he will complete his, but I have their word that it would be very unlikely that DS1's education (upper 6th next year) would be disrupted. They would use the figures from last year if needed.

Anyway, I must do some work while I'm feeling more myself. And the sun is shining.

Very glad you get a bit of breathing space today.
Well it looks like you have it all in hand.
Just keep remembering that it will be over soon(ish).

Yes, it's in hand. This has been going on since Jan 2015 though, so to say I am weary is an understatement.

More badgering txts about 1/2 term.....

I hope you've had a good day today.

Re the timescales, at least it must feel like you are now off the ground and it is starting to proceed.

You have a solicitors meeting tomorrow?

Just read your thread. So sorry you are going through all this. In terms of coping with him until he moves out, have you got any family or friends who could stay with you at least for short periods, to keep him on best behaviour?

A friend is going through similar with a horrid ex and people take turns to be with her at strategic times to spike her husband's guns.

A really, really thick letter had arrived for STBX, like 100 pages thick of documents.

From his solicitor. Could it be my financial disclosure? Would they send all my statements etc to him? I don't think mine were that thick?

We exchanged on Fri so docs arrived Monday. Mine is going through his incomplete Form E today. Surely they don't send stuff to each party until both have talked to their clients?

Or is this something else?

nb I have nothing to hide, I'm just curious.

I don't know but hopefully it's a moving forward sign.

cd you open it and glue it back together again?

Ermm no.

Anyway, may I swear?

FUCKING CUNTING WANK TWAT.

I'll shower and drink tea and then come back and say why. Nothing to do with letter.

So, he was out until 8pm. I put DS2 to bed (stories, kisses etc) then went off for a run. Lovely. I come back and find DS2 back downstairs watching telly.
This is NOT normal. Apparently he couldn't sleep. That's fine, but he is expected to stay in bed and read and he often does. If it gets too late I'll go back up and tuck him in, but he never comes back downstairs.

So I said I'd take him back up and stbx barks "I'm putting him to bed". I say that no, it's fine and he barks more loudly "NO, I'M putting him to bed" and off they go, nearly 9pm.

So now he's going to start getting him out of bed so he can put him to bed himself again? I'm furious.

Banging headache now.

MORE badgering about 1/2 term dates. He only asked me on Sunday evening and will not let it rest. I asked my solicitor for advice but she was in court today and I haven't heard back. Moot point now because I backed down (ie he won...again) and told him dates that he can take DS2 away. I spent too long out of my working day making my own plans to stay with family (which will be lovely) when actually I didn't really want to have to think about 1/2 term right now.

favorite I am afraid we do not have the room for guests.

That and we haven't actually had anyone stay over for years! I used to put it down to small house, unconventional marriage etc....now I know.

It's easier for me to get out of the house when he's here.

I run. A lot.