trapped friend?

[airedailleurs]

About a month ago I met up with a male friend I have known for some time. Just before the meeting he had told me via email he was getting married in the summer, which I had already guessed would be happening this year so had fully expected to hear this news.

When we were talking he was obviously not happy; his fiancee was on holiday that week and he hadn't gone with her as he thought the holiday was too expensive. He also complained about having to pay for an engagement ring and also about having to contribute financially towards the wedding (his fiancee's parents had given them some money for a deposit on the flat they now live in so he was therefore expected to cough up for the wedding).

He also said that his fiancee is not interested in discussing his work problems, and is generally too focused on her very demanding career to have time for him. We used to work together, so I know the people involved and am able to advise him and be understanding.

He has always been able to confide in me, and there is a definite attraction between us that we have never acted on although he has previously hinted that he would like to take things further. We are extremely compatible and have a great connection but I'm a lot older than him and hardly marriage material!

So, I was left firstly feeling quite concerned about him, as he had previously told me he felt trapped. I'm worried that he is marrying this woman for the wrong reasons.

Secondly, I just feel so jealous, although I try to rationalise the situation, I can't bear to think of them together and seeing a photo of them together just about kills me.

Part of me thinks he's asking me for help but I don't know what to say to him, beyond asking if he really wants to go through with the wedding...or should I just protect myself and not see him at all?

TIA for your thoughts!

[tallwivglasses]

Eh?

[Roses43]

I will take every person that your little army destroyed and make them strong again
You wil not be allowed to operate as you now do.
Every single person that got banned from sites like yours will now have a voice.
It took a while!
I got there in the end though.

[tallwivglasses]

That's a strange way to answer my question.

[Roses43]

I'm guessing that anybody who doesn't quite fit your mould is classed as "strange".
My favourite people are strange.

[tallwivglasses]

I'm not saying that you're strange, Roses, just your response to my question. You guessed wrong btw way, just as you were wrong assuming OP was a man - if we trust what Secret said. Why all the cryptic shite? What do you mean about AF? And why question my name? Straight tie?

Sorry OP this isn't helping you. If you want to come back I'm sure some posters will be happy to try and help

[airedailleurs]

mum2mum yes I like the expression "victim of his uncertainty"

[hownottofuckup]

Guess I wasn't the only one that had a few last night!

[hownottofuckup]

OP I think you're being blinded by the fact you think you fancy him and vice versa.

If he wanted you he wouldn't be marrying you.

Someone who resents buying his fiancée an engagement ring and paying for his own wedding isn't a catch.

[airedailleurs]

There is no doubt about the mutual fancying, it is obvious to anyone who sees us together. However, I'm too old to have more children and already have one, could be a factor...

[hownottofuckup]

Who knows. Point is, if he really wanted you, he wouldn't be marrying someone else.

[airedailleurs]

I think he wants us both for different reasons and is confused...

[airedailleurs]

but this thread is helping thank you!

[MypocketsarelikeNarnia]

Wine o'clock indeed. And apparently AF isn't really real. She's a 'figmant'.

Who knew?

[airedailleurs]

what's that about AF? Is SHE a bloke?

[hownottofuckup]

If AF was a bloke my mind would be blown.

Is he setting you up to be the OW?

[MypocketsarelikeNarnia]

A 'figmant'. Try to keep up OP

[firesidechat]

This thread has gone weird. I don't understand any of the last 20 posts and none of Roses.

[LittleRedSparke]

but I'm a lot older than him and hardly marriage material!

my husband-to-be
is this a fictional H2B? or your one?

[AyeAmarok]

Oh dear. This guy just wants to have his cake and eat it.

And you've fallen for his story hook, line and sinker.

[hownottofuckup]

I don't think anyone understands Roses posts. I wonder if even she'll know what she was on about this morning.

[airedailleurs]

no Little, the husband to be is his fiancee's, i.e. him...I have no husband, to be or ex

and what is a figmant???

[tallwivglasses]

Just to clarify, I haven't worn a tie since 5th form, 1974...

[MypocketsarelikeNarnia]

I'm not fluent in 'mad'. But I think the implication is that MNHQ desperately needed a punchy feminist being chippy with their members so they employ someone at MN Towers.

And they named her Anyfucker because that's just exactly what a major corporation would do.

Dittany was also an MN stooge but she had to go because she knew where Justine had hidden the Moldies...

[corythatwas]

airedailleurs Fri 25-Mar-16 08:57:44

"There is no doubt about the mutual fancying, it is obvious to anyone who sees us together."

This man gets better by the minute. He is engaged to be married to one girl and at the wedding-planning stage, but lets his fancying another shine through to the point where it is obvious to anyone who sees them together. Yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk.

[SecretsAndStuff21]

Seems this thread has been lost in all the "out smarting" silliness.
OP, you are for real aren't you?
I was once in a relationship with a plonker who t sees had a lot of ladies on the " back burner", in readiness to save his poor fragile soul.( and I though I was smart)
Don't let sexual attraction blind you to the fact this guy is a knob.
He's sending out all the right signals alright. He wants to be a kept man.
Do you want to be his nanny?