About a month ago I met up with a male friend I have known for some time. Just before the meeting he had told me via email he was getting married in the summer, which I had already guessed would be happening this year so had fully expected to hear this news.
When we were talking he was obviously not happy; his fiancee was on holiday that week and he hadn't gone with her as he thought the holiday was too expensive. He also complained about having to pay for an engagement ring and also about having to contribute financially towards the wedding (his fiancee's parents had given them some money for a deposit on the flat they now live in so he was therefore expected to cough up for the wedding).
He also said that his fiancee is not interested in discussing his work problems, and is generally too focused on her very demanding career to have time for him. We used to work together, so I know the people involved and am able to advise him and be understanding.
He has always been able to confide in me, and there is a definite attraction between us that we have never acted on although he has previously hinted that he would like to take things further. We are extremely compatible and have a great connection but I'm a lot older than him and hardly marriage material!
So, I was left firstly feeling quite concerned about him, as he had previously told me he felt trapped. I'm worried that he is marrying this woman for the wrong reasons.
Secondly, I just feel so jealous, although I try to rationalise the situation, I can't bear to think of them together and seeing a photo of them together just about kills me.
Part of me thinks he's asking me for help but I don't know what to say to him, beyond asking if he really wants to go through with the wedding...or should I just protect myself and not see him at all?
TIA for your thoughts!
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trapped friend?
airedailleurs · 24/03/2016 20:15
You wonder why do you?
"If I wasn't getting something out of this ..." 
Goodnight op 
What is all this crap about " I don't mean to sound harsh, but ..." ? What's going on with all that?
Makes me laugh every time.
Either say it and own what you've said or be quiet.
Drives me nuts 
Its like a day pass for anyone to say what the hell they like without being responsible for it.
Its a cop out.
You absolutely meant to sound harsh secret. Own it! Its so passive aggressive nowadays.
Fair doos. Your upset, I understand that Secrets.
Let's not be doing robotic thing though. I shudder at the thought.
Accept my apologies. Its just the "I don't mean to sound harsh" grates on me.
I'm right, its a passive aggressive cop out.
I won't hold it against you 
Airs last post that's a boy! Forget the man/bloke bit.
He's still having dinners cooked by mamma bless him lol.
Stop fckn stifling! I thought that was my original point.
Some people never learn 
Well, you did a bloody good impression air.
Either way I'm not complaining. I've made new friends. Secret and me are getting to know each other its all good.
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