help me word a Dear John text please?

[Nothavingfunrightnow]

We have been seeing each other a short while but he is not my cup of tea after all. He is certainly not going to crumple into a heap when he gets my text (and it will be too difficult and take too long to tell him face to face) but I don't need to be nasty at all.

What do I say?

[Rainatnight]

Do you really have to do it by text?

[LoisWilkersonsLastNerve]

I wouldn't text, you don't need to give a long explanation, just call him and say you've enjoyed his company but don't think you see a long term relationship with him.

[Justwanttosay]

Tell him the truth .....

[MrsLeighHalfpenny]

Don't text. That's cowardly.

[category12]

"sorry this isn't working for me. Think it's better to end things now. Best wishes for the future." or something.

I don't see anything wrong with ending it by text, rather than manufacturing a reason to see the person to have 'the talk'.

[BeautifulMaudOHara]

"Hello X. It's been fun but I don't think we are right for each other and so I'd like to leave it at that and agree to stay friends but nothing more. I hope all goes well for you, thanks for (whatever add something ) , cheers "

[rookiemere]

I'd text too . No point in having an awkward conversation with someone. I'd go for Lois's wording - you had fun together but you're looking for different things, which is kind of what you've said in your original post.

[Nothavingfunrightnow]

He lives quite far from me (45 minutes drive) and the next time I would see him would be Wednesday night.

Is a text really cowardly? Even if after just 5 or 6 dates? Suppose it is...

[ClashCityRocker]

If it is a short while, a text or phonecall is fine. I'd be most pissed off if a date arranged to meet me, I'd got ready expecting a nice evening to be told 'it's just not happening'.

Just say you don't feel a connection or something of that ilk.

Or you could go down the Homer Simpson route 'welcome to dumpsville. Population:.....you'.

[ElderlyKoreanLady]

How short is short? If just 2 or 3 weeks I don't see an issue with a text. Any more than that and I'd probably up it to a phone call. A text might also be quite inappropriate if he's very keen, even if we're talking a very short time together.

[Nothavingfunrightnow]

That's the thing, rookiemere - that awkward phone conversation!

The specifically asked the last man I dated to tell me by text if he wanted to end it. I did not want to have to hear it face to face in case I cried or something daft. I don't want that uncomfortable "do we hug good bye or don't we" thing.

I am probably going to text.

[Nothavingfunrightnow]

ClashCityRocker!! HAHAHA!!! "Welcome to Dumpsville"!

[ExtraHotLatteToGo]

Why not ring him?

[rookiemere]

Well if I look back to my dating days, most guys modus operandi for dumping was simply to disappear off the face of the planet and go completely incommunicado.

I think provided you let him know then that's fine and these days I tend to have very few telephone conversations, at least a text allows him to gather his thoughts and contact you back if he feels he needs to.

[category12]

Just text him! :D

I wouldn't want a phone call and I certainly wouldn't want to turn up to a date or "we need to talk" meeting, only to be ditched in person. You live too far apart and it's only been a few dates. Text!

[AristotlesTrousers]

Or you could go down the Homer Simpson route 'welcome to dumpsville. Population:.....you'.

[Cat2014]

Definitely text.. No need for an awkward phone call, and as the dumpee I'd prefer a text too

[LunaLunaLovegood]

Lol at Homer. I have no idea about dating in this century but I think you should treat him however you'd like to be treated yourself if it was the other way round.

[x2boys]

i think if its just a few dates texting is fine but i was seeing someone for a few months met his family and everything and he dumped me by text that wasent nice this was many years ago however and i,ve long since moved on

[Roses43]

You are way too nice for your own good op. Just dump his ass! He will live to see another day
Lose the guilt.
Send the text you coward lol. Yeah, course you can just text! Do whatever makes YOU feel comfortable.
Well, that's what I would do

[VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon]

Texts are fine for a short thing! So much dating communication these days is by text, ending it that way is fine.

[ginandmoregin]

Another vote for a phone call, especially if you think he's going to be ok about it. My last relationship ended with a phone call, and it was a nice way to end things amicably.

[Poppiesway]

Test is fine.. If it had been months/years rather than single figure amount of dates than more would be deserved..

I text a bloke once and said I wasn't feeling the buzz... My friend never let me forget that one..

[Cabrinha]

I'd far rather be dumped by text!
Lick your wounds in private then.
If he's been really nice and you're just not feeling it, I might semi apologise for using text, as some people don't like it - so I acknowledge that.

"Hi X, there isn't a good way to say this... I'm sorry it's by text, I'm never sure the best way to do this, and I prefer to receive a text myself so I'll do it this way. It's been great to meet you but I'm not feeling the "spark". Thanks for and good luck for the future."

[DoreenLethal]

Imagine though getting ready to meet a date and then hearing the 'It's not you it's me' conversation - that's an evening in pyjamas wasted.

Hows about something like 'Hi - hope all is well with you. Just a quick note to say that I won't be meeting up on Wednesday, or any other date - I am just not feeling it. No hard feelings and hope you find the one you are looking for soon. All the best OP'.