help me word a Dear John text please?

[Nothavingfunrightnow]

We have been seeing each other a short while but he is not my cup of tea after all. He is certainly not going to crumple into a heap when he gets my text (and it will be too difficult and take too long to tell him face to face) but I don't need to be nasty at all.

What do I say?

Thanks, everyone. I have just sent it and IMMEDIATELY had post-text dissonance!! EEK!

Anyway. I know he's not right for me.

Thanks for the help. Roses43

Yes, DoreenLethal, exactly. Besides, the next time we'd see each other would have involved a 45 minute drive one way for him. So he'd have driven for an hour and half to hear that he has been dumped.

Besides. I am very physically attracted to him so had I left it and waited to see him, I would have chickened out.

It's best I just don't see him.

Thank you, lovely Mumsnet!

I like that I got the blame. I always get the fckn blame

Roses43!! NO! I liked your post, you oversensitive numpty! My post text dissonance is of my own doing - nothing to do with you.

I was being a coward. I have done the right thing in ending it, but I do feel a bit sad, I suppose.

HAHA! No, did not send the Homer one, as tempting as it was.

Just said a combination of what other posters had suggested. I have not heard back and I doubt I will.

Why don't you phone him?

Oh - never mind.

Oversensitive and numpty all in one sentence

I'm honoured.

I can't quite believe we've reached the point where dumping someone by text is acceptable. A few years ago this would have been a really low thing to do, but I don't see anything wrong with it now if it hasn't been long.

I don't actually see it as a bad thing Gobbolino6. As time moves on so do social conventions.

I'm not sure how an awkward protracted conversation would make the dumpee feel any better about themselves:
" Hi there its Nothavingfun here"
"Oh hi there, so glad you called, I'm really looking forward to Wednesday what film shall we see.."
"Well actually about that, I've enjoyed spending time with you but I don't feel we're well matched so I don't think we should go out again."
Bloke then has a number of choices at this point:
1"Ok right then have a nice life."
2 " No I can't believe it what have I done wrong, please I can be different, just give me another chance."
3" You women are all the same, can't believe I thought you were different. Well let me tell you a few things about yourself....."

At least a text gives the person a chance to think through what has happened.

do what joey tribbiani said to someone in friends ... "be a guy ... just stop calling her" ... or something like that.

i think a text is PERFECTLY okay. i wouldn't want to have a phone call or a "let's chat" kind of thing. after 6 weeks of seeing him that's fine. i wouldn't have even minded a text when my marriage ended to be honest. (i also don't like confrontation) (although ending marriage different, i realise)

to be honest i'd just stop texting and hope he gets the message. remember in about last night - demi moore didn't hear from him for 3 days, she presumed it was over, then she went round there, even though elizabeth perkins said not to. although i suspect your ex to be isn't being fed what to do by james belushi. etc.

have just seen that you've sent the text! ignore me! (thousands do)

Text is fine. After a handful of dates it's as likely to end as not. Don't see the problem mysepf as long as it's polite and respectful. I'd be happy to receive one too. In fact I did, and it really was fine.

Some people are very strange!

Kenny. Stop being joey, you are not joey. Joey was a knob and we are twenty years down the line! Even joey isn't joey anymore.
Hi kenny

Neither way is going to be nice for him. I wouldn't text but i would just ring. You never know he may be feeling the same about you...in which case you can both sigh with relief.
Good Luck.
x

I see it's too late, but for future reference you should have just text saying "Your ex is very attractive", and then when he says which one, you say "Me. Byeeeeee".

Its never too late INFA.
Made me laugh anyhow

Ineverfi, that's giid, but a bit harsh! I'll save it for a Real Bastard. This one had the makings of one and I needed to get out before I got burnt.

Kennyp, I don't know the movie. What happened when she went round to his?

Rose43, you're too sensitive or your own good. Grow a pair ffs!

"Hi X, im sorry in advance but I'm going to cancel Wednesday. I've had fun with you but don't feel there's enough chemistry to establish a long term relationship. Thank you for your company. Good luck. I hope you find someone lovely soon.

I can't quite believe we've reached the point where dumping someone by text is acceptable

Me neither.

It's not easy to call a halt to things but I think it's common courtesy to make a call no matter how uncomfortable that makes us feel.

I can't quite believe we've reached the point where dumping someone by text is acceptable

I think that different people have a different opinion of what text is for.

I have dated people for longer than this without ever speaking to them on the phone, only texting or meeting in person. To call them would be weird, because that's not how we communicate.

Trills has an interesting point. I've only spoken 2 or 3 times on the phone to this man. But we have texted lots and lots - 8 or 10 exchanges some days.

For those of you worried about him: don't. He referred to his previous girlfriend as "the last one" and to school girls as "skirts". He will manage fine.

Sorry but I think a text is a cowardly option. Ring him and tell him. He'll be sure of your intention then and you won't spend the next few days or weeks avoiding his calls (unless of course he feels the same way)

Text is normal for relationship communication these days! Honestly, it is.