I am a 46 year old man and I have been seeing my girlfriend for almost 18 months , we have a great loving relationship and never argue until alcohol is involved , she is a very social person but behind the scenes is very insecure needing almost constant reassurance for example, she feels I could do better / She is constantly waiting for me to end it / she feels she is a rubbish girlfriend....etc.
I will admit she likes to drink to excess when we go out and she would rather stay in if it doesn't involve a "full session" or "getting tuned in " I am not a tea totaller either but I can have a couple of drinks and call it a night , the arguments are trivial and seem silly the day after when she / me apologise and she beats herself up about it all for days and quoting all the above issues,
After just coming back from a holiday abroad for her birthday we went out with friends for a post birthday celebration when we got back to hers It all come to a head after the following conversation , she was seeking reassurances about if I will still want to be with her if I ever stop ' fancying ' her ? I tried to explain their is much more to my feelings than just that and people can still fancy each other for years and years and said I had fancied my ex wife (of 4yrs) for most of our 20 years marriage , that comment has (in my opinion) been totally taken out of context resulting in us both in agreement that even though we both love each other it would be better to be apart before we make each other miserable. ...
I think we maybe in a destructive relationship that will never change but how do you split with someone who you still love and will see locally probably on a daily basis ?
Sorry if that's a bit long ....