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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Would you find this irritating?

116 replies

lottielou7 · 05/03/2016 14:53

I've been seeing someone for about 2 months and finally we had sex last night. However, he kept on saying 'you're mine, I'm yours' over and over. It really ruined things for me and has now put me off him. Would this put you off?!

OP posts:
Original poster
lottielou7 · 06/03/2016 21:01

I absolutely hated it - nobody has ever said such a thing even when I was married. I hope he learns from it because I really don't think there are many women that like this sort of thing.

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 06/03/2016 21:03

Christian Grey says it a lot.

"You are mine."

And things like: "You've had six orgasms so far and they all belong to me."

Enough said?

Original poster
lottielou7 · 06/03/2016 21:04

Yeah!

OP posts:
Fugghetaboutit · 06/03/2016 21:12

Why did he keep saying it if he could tell you didn't like it?

Original poster
lottielou7 · 06/03/2016 21:15

I agree Fug! Exactly. A few weeks before I had said to him that I hurt my back at the gym and he said 'be careful, I need you' which I did not like either but I shrugged it off.

OP posts:
Duckdeamon · 06/03/2016 22:29

Urgh!

Original poster
lottielou7 · 06/03/2016 22:55

I think I can now see why he's been single for the last 4 years even though he is tall, good looking and has a decent job.

OP posts:
Soapmaker34 · 07/03/2016 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lottielou7 · 07/03/2016 09:41

Well today, I feel nothing but relief so I know I've made the right decision!

OP posts:
Slowdecrease · 07/03/2016 10:43

Interesting there's another thread at the moment about blokes dumping after sex and why they do it. This is the reverse a woman dumping after sex because it was simply a bit weird , I suppose it's a good a reason as any. Sometimes it is just that simple isn't it.

Original poster
lottielou7 · 07/03/2016 11:02

The thing is, however much you like someone you just know when you don't connect properly in that way - and evidently he knew as well as I did. If the sex truly is amazing, you will want to see them again, on both sides. If its not amazing for one person, the other person will know even if they don't want to admit it to themselves! I do think there are a lot of married men posing as single though!

Also, I'm sorry to drip feed but he said something that night that also really put the dampener on for me. He told me that one of my exes who I was with for 4 years (broke up 2 years ago) was using prostitutes while we were together. We are part of an extended social circle and have been for years. He's not an OD guy. I asked a few other people I knew if this was likely to have been true and they said they thought it was nonsense.

So at that point I felt that it was strange that he would have wanted to make me feel bad about something that's all in the past now anyway.

OP posts:
allegretto · 07/03/2016 11:12

Sorry but it reminds me too much of Papa Lazarou!

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 07/03/2016 11:25

However, he kept on saying 'you're mine, I'm yours' over and over.

Was his name Gollum?

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 07/03/2016 11:27

allegretto

very good Grin

Original poster
lottielou7 · 07/03/2016 12:10

Grin haha - thanks for making me laugh. He is still texting me 'Hi, how are you' should I block him?

OP posts:
Slowdecrease · 07/03/2016 12:12

Why don't you just be really honest and tell him what put you off so he can learn by his mistake next time. Then again wish him well and block him .

Original poster
lottielou7 · 07/03/2016 12:14

Slow, I have - I was straight up with him about why. A friend of mine texted me all these ridiculous excuses that he'd used to end relationships! And it made me think honesty is the best policy.

OP posts:
Slowdecrease · 07/03/2016 12:15

Well you owe him no more then, block.

Original poster
lottielou7 · 07/03/2016 12:21

I'm worried that if I block him he might come round to my house or something.

OP posts:
cuntycowfacemonkey · 07/03/2016 12:30

Send one last text "Hi as we are no longer seeing each other I would prefer not to receive anymore text messages or phone calls from you. I hope you can respect this. Best wishes Lottie"

That way you have clearly stated that as well as the relationship being over you are not interested in any kind of friendship or communication. Block him and if he comes to the house report him to 101

Original poster
lottielou7 · 07/03/2016 13:39

He's asking for another chance still and I said No - we both need to move on now. Hopefully that will be the end.

I can't be bothered with relationships. The men are either good in bed and total arses in every other respect or they cling like limpets or become obsessed. I'm going to resign myself to become a cat lady!

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 07/03/2016 13:47

I'd start with "The relationship is over. Stop messaging me. I don't want to see you again. I am not going to change my mind."

Any reply beyond "OK, sorry" then gets:

"I have asked you to stop messaging me. If you contact me again I will consider it harassment and will contact the police."

loopylou6 · 07/03/2016 14:35

I was thinking exactly what the above poster said, I think he's trying to be Christian Grey.

Original poster
lottielou7 · 07/03/2016 23:11

I'm quite proud of myself because I typically can't be assertive and I have real trouble breaking up with someone without saying sorry.

I was very blunt in the last message.

OP posts:
Original poster
lottielou7 · 27/03/2016 22:29

He's started trying to persuade me to get back with him.

OP posts: