Would you find this irritating?

[lottielou7]

I've been seeing someone for about 2 months and finally we had sex last night. However, he kept on saying 'you're mine, I'm yours' over and over. It really ruined things for me and has now put me off him. Would this put you off?!

Its not all a cop out. Its perfectly fine to tell someone the actual reason it isnt going any further. Being dumped is never pleasant, they might as well get some useful information out of it.

I disagree completely. The trick is to get rid quick it's not my business after a 2 month thing to educate the guy. He's clingy - get rid fast.

Well at least doing it without making it your fault! What pocketsavior posted is good.

"I'll have to end it. Any ideas how?"

Yes. You could phone him and say "I feel uncomfortable about how this relationship is going and I no longer want to see you. I was really put off when you kept saying "you're mine, I'm yours" during sex, I find you too clingy, and I don't like the way you override my wishes regarding paying for dates". I believe it's better to tell them honestly why just in case they are totally clueless instead of dodgy. Anyway, why make up some crap like "I'm not ready for a relationship"? I think people need to know when their behaviour makes others uncomfortable. If he tries to talk you out of it just repeat "I'm not interested in seeing you any more" and put the phone down if necessary.

If you're ending it after the first shag, it would be kind to say he was getting too clingy too soon and the mine/yours comments were a step too far ... so he doesn't think the sex was the reason.

But yes, moving so fast would usually be weird. Like, by that stage DH and I were engaged but it was a very intense two months, rather than normal dating.

Thanks for your advice. I decided to just be straight with him and tell him I didn't like him saying those things. He said that he could tell I didn't like it.

As far as the paying thing goes, in the future I will be more forceful on that point. I do tend to have difficulty asserting myself generally and I have AS.

He took it ok but it still texting me as though nothing happened. so at this point shall I just ignore?

yes, I've said that I don't think its viable

"He took it ok but it still texting me as though nothing happened. so at this point shall I just ignore?"

If you've told him straight that it's over, that you don't want to see him again, then yes, I would. Odd that he's texting like nothing happened though. Does he think you were just having a heart to heart about how you wanted him to slow down but that you're actually still dating?

He took it ok but it still texting me as though nothing happened. so at this point shall I just ignore?

Sounds like he's choosing to ignore your right to end things. Which fits with his "possessive creep" profile.

I would text something unequivocal like: "X, I no longer want to date you. This relationship is over." and then block him on your phone and all other media. Because you do not need to read whatever crap he is going to decide to send after that.

Do you feel safe?

Yes, I do feel safe. I really don't think that he will do anything dangerous.

Yeah he's "agreeing" with you verbally then carrying with his plan (to date you) as before.

Text him "ive told you this relationship is over. Dont text me again. I need no response to this message"

Block him.

I think he's just hoping I'll change my mind. But I've been very clear.

I decided to just be straight with him and tell him I didn't like him saying those things

Are you sure you also told him that you don't want to see him any more?

Right decision by the way - he does not sound like someone you want to date.

Have you been clear?
You said here that you said you didn't think it was viable.
That's not exactly an ending if that's what you said.
I mean, it's a fucking big hint! But depending on exact words and context might have sounded like you weren't fully decided.

Yes, he said is it over then and I said yes. He says he feels sad but that he respects my feelings about it. Then he texted me about 2 hours later and said he would like another chance. So I've ignored it.

He probably needs something clearer ie I don't want to see you again.

Oh that's perfectly clear! Moreso than what you wrote upthread.
I think I'd probably say no to the second chance (without an apology) and ignore anything after that. But as he's already been clingy, just remember it's absolutely fine to do as you are and ignore it.

Ok, you were very clear. He understands, he just doesn't want to respect your decision.

Time to block him. Don't just ignore: block. He's shown you that he won't respect your autonomy, and you don't need an obsessive creep trying to manipulate his way back into your life.

You've been very clear.

He says he respects your feelings, but he's not acting like it.

You don't owe him anything. Ignore him. Block his number if he starts sending things that you don't want to see.

He says he feels sad but that he respects my feelings about it. Then he texted me about 2 hours later and said he would like another chance.

Actions speak louder than words. This isn't some kind of romantic "fight for the woman you love" bollocks, it's arrogance.

DH and I have always said "I'm yours" to one another but neither of us would ever, ever say "you're mine" - that's presumptious at best, abusive at worst...