Would you find this irritating?

[lottielou7]

I've been seeing someone for about 2 months and finally we had sex last night. However, he kept on saying 'you're mine, I'm yours' over and over. It really ruined things for me and has now put me off him. Would this put you off?!

It's fine - if you like the idea of being possessed....eek!

No, I hate possessive partners. I'll have to end it. Any ideas how? I feel really bad because he's spent loads of money on me.

Yes it would put me off. Sounds like he could turn in to a controlling partner.

End it by phone.

Safer to end it from a distance. Spending lots of money could also be part of the controlling thing. He chose to spend his money on you - doesn't mean you owe him....

Well, next time don't let a boyfriend of 2 months that you haven't even slept with spend lots of money on you How did that come about? Not a good idea in any early relationship.

I'm massively independent - to the point that I've had complaints. I like independent partners. My boyfriend isn't needy, clingy or possessive... he is however totally stoked that we're together, that I'm his, that he's mine. We have both said that during sex - works for us 😆 Admittedly not repeatedly the first time. But I don't have the negative reaction of everyone else. Honestly though, I would have reacted the same prior to this current man though.

More concerning is that you found him clingy.

Trust your gut. Besides you don't fancy him anymore so will likely find more and more that will make you cringe.

Well he wouldn't let me pay. He would wait til I was in the loo and pay then even though we agreed to pay half.

Red flags flying high OP.

Oh dear.
Yes you have to end this pronto. I wouldn't do it to his face either but I am a wimp like that.

Hmmm. What shall I say? I already had doubts but this puts the lid on it.

I get really irritated with women on here saying "he wouldn't let me pay".

I had a first date with a man who pulled the 'paying when I was in the loo' stunt, after I had TWICE said we would split the bill, the second time saying that I would be very uncomfortable otherwise.

Guess what? No second date - and I told him that that piece of over riding my explicit wishes was part of the reason why.

No man can not let you pay. You always have the option of handing over your share in cash and refusing to take it back. You chose to let him pay.

It was his choice so in think you should go ahead and end it and feel no guilt over the money. But modify your behaviour next time, next man. Really, you're the kind of woman who let's a man dictate the bill splitting? You're stronger than that, no?

I would call him and say look.
I'm really sorry but things are moving a bit fast for me here. I need some time out to decide what I want Im not sure I want to be in a relationship with anyone.
Then just ghost him out

I'd tell him that on reflection I didn't like men who thought that their need to flash their money about was greater than my need to have my wishes to split bills completely ignored! And for that reason, I'm out

I'm really sorry but things are moving a bit fast for me here. I need some time out to decide what I want Im not sure I want to be in a relationship with anyone.

Or you could tell him the truth so he knows his behaviour is creepy and possessive! Why protect him from that?

And why would you say sorry? You havent done anything wrong!

And YY to cabrinhas post about letting him pay.

I think he possibly thought he was being gentlemanly in paying for dinner (I'd bloody love that for a change!).

You could always phone him and tell him that MN says no to being his..

Because you don't want to get him angry or take it personally !

Erm!! He should take it personally. It is personal, about how he is conducting himself in personal relationships!

And what is wrong with him being angry? He is entitled to feel angry. If he threatens OP or tries to hurt her she can call the police. Are you really saying women should lie to men about what they have done wrong out of fear of making him angry? Wow. Checks calendar.

Oh Fgs it's my opinion on what she could do. I feel it's best not to be too personal at this stage. He isnt an axe murderer he paid for a few dinners and he's creepy in bed so get rid no need to make someone feel shit.

How he conducts himself is his problem ! He'll get the message why should the OP bother pointing is out after she's been seeing him for 2 months.

Just odd that you think it better to lie and put the blame on OP for something that he is doing. I wonder why.

Where did I say put the blame on her? She can say what she likes it was just my suggestion from personal experience.
Ok I told a guy once I found him too much. His response was to badger me and say I'll cool off I promise blah blah it went on for ages. If you say you don't want a relationship it tends to cut off quicker.
Just my advice not making a bit point about men or women or whatever.

Well for starters you had her apologising which indicates there is blame on her part, then you had her saying she wasnt sure she wanted to be in a relationship with anyone which isnt true at all and everyone who has every heard that line knows is a cop out.

How about "Unfortunately this just isn't working for me. I hope you find what you're looking for, best of luck."

Right ok. Well you crack on with giving her advice on what you think and just leave me to advise her on what I think is best ok?
It's all a cop out Ffs you're dumping someone!