It looks like My husband is planning to leave us...

[GrandHighWitchy]

Long backstory, but main parts are he has physically abused me in the past, i suffered many miscarriages after he had hit me. I stayed because I felt shame at ending my marriage and what people would say. Our families also do not get along. We are from an Asian background so this is a big issue.

My dad has been ill past few weeks in hospital and he hasn't been helping with the kids. we had an argument and now 2 days later I see his suitcases are packed. Looks like he's leaving.

He's done the packing suitcase act before and I always stop him. This time I don't give a shit. He can fuck off. For all the shit he's put me through and ruined my self belief and confidence. He's gone to work now. I assume he's going back to his motherland in a few days although I haven't seen any evidence of tickets etc. he's blocked my number, deleted me off Facebook etc. my sister is telling me to let him fuck off and have some self respect. I have her support.

How can I prepare? I don't work. My dads ill in hospital. That's all that matters right now but I feel I should be prepared.

Sorry for being all jumbled up. I don't really feel angry/sad/anxious about this. I feel nothing.

[MoominPie22]

Hope you´re OK OP. Why don´t you call your brother and ask him to come round to escort your shithead STBXH off the premises? That way he won´t be able to do one last spiteful thing to hurt you ( he will def not go quietly and I´m sure he´ll have a trick up his sleeve! ) and your bro can make sure he leaves his door keys too.

You must call upon family for support at a time like this and there is no more dangerous time than when he´s about to leave. You´re alone and very vulnerable. He´s gonna do something dreadful I can tell. He´s not gonna just leave and say ¨Have a nice life!¨ is he?

Avoid all potential danger and drama by having your brother here, esp if your ex is already scared of him. This is a family emergancy I would say. If your bro is stuck in work and can´t come then notify the police. He´s got his suitcase there ready so his departure is imminent, he´s prob just drawing it out to put the shits up you and have you all on edge.

Can your sis come round? A male friend?

[makingmiracles]

Please take note of other posters, I don't think you realise the severity of your situation at the moment, as pp have said now is the most dangerous time. Someone I know went through similar and it was all going well until she went back to the family home to collect her child and her husband stabbed her to death- I don't mean to worry your but these things can and do happen and I wouldn't risk it when he has form for violence.

Can you get the locks changed or relocate to your family until he leaves? I'd be very very careful with the children- for those saying ensure no one else picks them up- im pretty sure that legally the school cannot stop him from taking them because he is their father and because there is no court order in place to say otherwise. Personally I'd be letting school know they won't be in and getting family or a friend to look after them.

[MoominPie22]

I just worry once he realises his case has been gone through and something is missing he´s gonna kick off. If he´s callous and spiteful enough to have terminated ¨many¨ pregnancies, forcing the OP to miscarry then his level of wickedness knows no bounds really. He´s capable of anything but she should be instrumental in getting rid of him, by getting the brother or police so he goes without further drama.

I think as long as there´s someone else in the house, preferably male, he´d be stupid to play funny buggers. They would help her sling his sorry arse out once and for all!

making that is a truly terrible story and it´s the stuff of nightmares like what you see on these documentaries/the news about psycho husbands/partners. Horrific!

[WatchingAndLearning]

Omg...I'm so worried for you OP...plz take care

[Hufflepuffin]

He might have sent the uk passports and identity cards off to apply for new ones for the other country, which of course you won't be able to cancel as you don't know they exist!

I would echo what everyone else is saying. Can your brother come and stay?

[MaybeDoctor]

Have your brother involved, but please involve the police too. It doesn't have to involve uniformed officers, but a call to your local police domestic violence liaison officer would be a very good idea - even if he hasn't been violent for years, you and your children are at very high risk now.

[DarkBlueEyes]

I am worried about this lady. I hope she updates soon and is ok :(

[Anomite]

Me too. Really hope everything is alright.

[IonaNE]

OP, I'm so glad to read your two updates. However, like other posters, I also worry. Pls stay safe with your children. Your brother sounds like he's a wonderful support along with your sister - please keep your brother close and in the loop of what's happening. So glad you cancelled the passports!

[GrandHighWitchy]

Hi all, have had a really shit day. My dads illness means he's nearing the end of life. Didn't want to hear that today on top of everything today. I really can't deal with this all right now so won't be updating anymore. My children are safe and will be spending more time with other family members whilst I stay with dad. My dad is priority right now. Thanks for all the advice and support.

[AcrossthePond55]

Just want to with you peace and comfort for your dad in his last days.

[bakeoffcake]

Thank you for coming back Grand. I'm so sorry to hear your Dad is so poorly. Of course he is your priority.

[mummytime]

My thoughts and best wishes are with you. Glad your children are safe.

If you do have any worries don't hesitate to phone the police etc.

Make the most of your final days with your father.

[Anomite]

I'm so sorry to hear this about your father. Take care and sending you my very best wishes

[MoominPie22]

So has he left?

Sorry you´re going through this terrible time but I´m glad you and the kids are safe now. We were all getting a bit worried.

[Lynnm63]

So sorry about your dad. We are all here if you need us.

[KiwiJude]

Sorry about your Dad. Glad the children are safe and you can hopefully spend quality time with your Dad. xx