It looks like My husband is planning to leave us...

[GrandHighWitchy]

Long backstory, but main parts are he has physically abused me in the past, i suffered many miscarriages after he had hit me. I stayed because I felt shame at ending my marriage and what people would say. Our families also do not get along. We are from an Asian background so this is a big issue.

My dad has been ill past few weeks in hospital and he hasn't been helping with the kids. we had an argument and now 2 days later I see his suitcases are packed. Looks like he's leaving.

He's done the packing suitcase act before and I always stop him. This time I don't give a shit. He can fuck off. For all the shit he's put me through and ruined my self belief and confidence. He's gone to work now. I assume he's going back to his motherland in a few days although I haven't seen any evidence of tickets etc. he's blocked my number, deleted me off Facebook etc. my sister is telling me to let him fuck off and have some self respect. I have her support.

How can I prepare? I don't work. My dads ill in hospital. That's all that matters right now but I feel I should be prepared.

Sorry for being all jumbled up. I don't really feel angry/sad/anxious about this. I feel nothing.

[wotoodoo]

OMG OP I hope you are ok, please please follow all this advice, ring your children's school, the police. Please come back on here when you've done those things and let us know you are safe xx

[Lynnm63]

Hope you're ok OP and you and your dc's are safe. Please follow all the good advice on here and if you can stay elsewhere for a few days even keeping the dc's off school if necessary.

[PennyHasNoSurname]

What a scary situation! Some good advice on here, hope you and the children are safe and well.

[Afreshstartplease]

Hope you are OK op!

[Lookingforward2016]

Came here to check if there are any updates from OP. Hope you have sorted some of the things for your and DCs safety by now.

[MeMySonAndl]

Stop looking for the passports, hide the children (Well, do not hide them, just ask your family to chaperone them give them a lot of family time in the time while this is sorted)

According to a solicitor who specialised in child abduction cases, who I saw years ago, if there is no court contact order in place, or in process to be put in place, it will be very difficult to get the children back if he takes them with him to his country.

Police will tell you this is a civil matter and might not get involved at all. Or at least that's my experience of it.

For more details on how to deal with possible parental abduction or to get advise on what to do, contact Reunite ASAP, their address is //www.reunite.org

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

Blimey OP, it really doesn't sound good, and I too would be very concerned about the missing passports.

Collect the children from school right now and gp to a place of safety. We are all thinking of you

[Hissy]

Jesus this is worrying! Op, i hope you have gone and got your children, please update when you can?

[IonaNE]

OP, I hope you are ok. It does look like your husband is preparing to take your children - pls follow the excellent advice above re. collecting them and taking them to family (e.g. your sister). Also, this has not been mentioned yet but I think someone needs to ask him what his plans are. Not you, definitely not alone, but have you got a brother, brother-in-law, uncle or any other (possibly male) family member who can support you by confronting him e.g. re where your and the children's passports and ID cards are?

[AcrossthePond55]

Just out of curiosity, were there any of the children's clothes in the suitcase? Do you notice clothes missing for them? Do you have relatives or friends in the home country who would be in a position to know or find out if he (and the children) are planning a 'visit' in the near future?

[Allgunsblazing]

Hope you're ok OP.

[MerdeAlor]

Another one saying take action OP. You started the post to get back up and find out what to do, so do take the advice if you can. Hopefully you're able to make sure you and the children are safe.

Despite you thinking he wouldn't want to take the children, don't assume. If he's capable of controlling, abusive behaviour, he is capable of taking the children to cause you distress.

Please come back and let us know you're safe OP.

[mrsfleming32]

Keep us posted op. Gunning for you

[BonjourMinou]

Please let us know you and kids are ok op. V worried for you.

[ILoveACornishPasty]

Rooting for you here OP!! Xx

[MumOnTheRunCatchingUp]

Visas? Where is he from op?

[spacepoodle]

Came back to see if there was any update. Very concerned about you and your children, Grand.

[99percentchocolate]

Hope all is ok x

[GlitteryFluff]

I hope everything is ok OP.

[NigellaEllaElla]

Hope everything is ok. Anxiously awaiting you coming back to update

[thatsthewayitgoes]

Are you ok OP?

[GrandHighWitchy]

Hi everyone, sorry for not coming back to the thread earlier. As I mentioned earlier my Dad is very ill in hospital so I've been busy going to and from hospital today.

First of all, please don't worry. I am fine. I had 2 of my children with me all day and the third was in school. They are all safely home with me. I cancelled all their passports online earlier so that's cleared.

In regards to him flipping out about missing paperwork: I've taken out all the stuff that belongs to me. He even had my child benefit letters, which was odd. My brother also knows what he did to me and I've been told that if he ever threatens or does anything to scare me again I must call him and he'll be here within minutes. My husband also knows my brother is well aware of his behaviour and is scared of him. He hasn't raised a finger on me in 4 years now.

He'll be home soon, and I've been told to just ignore and let him do what he wants to do by dsis. Im so tired from running around all day I'm just about lay down for the night so I won't even know when he gets here.

Thanks for all the support. I'm sorry if I worried anyone with not posting again.

[GrandHighWitchy]

Acrossthepond no, none of the children's clothes were packed and if he did take them, I'd know exactly where he'd take them and have enough friends/family to help me.

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

Good luck op. I can't help feeling you took a big risk in clearing out the bank account before he even left the house.