Step right up, it's dating thread 97

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't half get through these at speed!

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now)

Not phone calls no. But texts. Contact. I want it to feel right.

I broke my own rule when I slept with H because before, I had a rule and it worked well with ''fake buddist'' (a real life bf from 2014). I knew I could have rung him for no reason any time of the day or night and he would have been delighted to hear from me. And I knew that before I slept with him. I guess now I did sleep with H because I thought it was about time.

So basically, to be clear! My rule is, if I can't ring a man spontaneously without certainty that my call would be welcome, then don't sleep with him.

If you feel you're bothering a man by calling him, don't sleep with him.

That's just my rule for me and it worked before. I shouldn't have forgotten it. Fake buddist turned out to be half cracked but he was genuinely keen on me. I rang him spontaneously and I could hear the smile on his face as he spoke.

Posted to soon.

While I am on the subject of being fair, I also have to admit that I am particularly vulnerable to that type of behavior because I am what Christian Carter calls a "convincer". Joys of being an ENTP I guess.

Went on date on Sunday, had a couple drinks. It went well until the end where things turned pretty sour when he seemed to be in some sort of hump?! Honestly not sure why so I left early.
I didn't hear from him at all so text him this morning saying I'd had a lovely time (didn't mention the end!) and would love to see him again. I didn't get a reply (even though I saw him on POF) so he's definitely not interested. Just wish he'd have the guts to actually admit that because we seemed to have some sort of connection.
I know it was only one date but feeling pretty rubbish right now. I'm in that stage where I am actually missing chatting to him.
I've sent a few messages on POF to other guys. Have been chatting to one this morning but doesn't seem to be that vibe there, he's nice enough but doesn't really ask me any questions.

Getting the hump, what on earth. A great way to impress your date behaving like this isn't it.

Yeah winter if they ask me no questions I take it they aren't that bothered or they are socially inept and disregard.

That's good Waving. I might put that in in a jokey way. If the word relationship has you reaching for your inhaler, don't message me.

MrsRolandRat yes I agree, felt incredibly tense at the end and not sure why. I have deleted his number anyway so not tempted to contact him.

Waving Christian Carter wrote "catch him and keep him" - not a particularly good read (there is a pdf out there ) but his "convincer" theory page 64 did ring a zillion bells with me. I guess it has to do with me always questioning everything I am told and trying to "make people see the light" all the time. (I sound like a proper asshole I know). Let me know what you think !

Glad you've blocked him winter. You should not be feeling tense at the end of the first date! I understand missing the chat though, I like that bit.

I'm vaguely messaging a guy on Bumble who actually asked something about my profile! It's been ages since that happened, I feel like I've been "carrying" a lot of conversations recently.

I'm drawing a line (again!) under MrEloquent I think by him not replying I've got my reply about whether his T&Cs have changed and they clearly haven't. No hard feelings though, he's got a lot going on and is has always been honest about what he wants. Shame though, he's bloody gorgeous and all kinds of lovely...

Winter - sounds like he went in a huff because it was clear he wasn't going to get a shag? So you have dodged a bullet there. Sulking about sex is a huge red flag.

Matthew Hussey is FIT!

And this is such a good standard to have: If you feel you're bothering a man by calling him, don't sleep with him. Going to use that a lot 314

Just read Soho's caption it is official, we dated the same guy haha. That is one big bright disclaimer!!

Oh and when I joined OKC first two years ago I did put "you should message me if you enjoy getting to know someone without having a ONS or a wedding in mind." Didn't stop Popcorn but perhaps I should add "casual" to the list?

Jolly, you dated Soho too??? Get. Out. Of. Here. This guy is like a young michael douglas.

The same type!? or the same man!!?

shameandregret yes I agree with you. It wasn't until the next day where I thought maybe he thought he was gonna get some hence the sulk.

Waving my single friend was great when I tried it. I was late 20's at the time. I believe it's better in London, more guys looking for relationships as it's a pay site.

I'm in the north west (Cheshire) the pay sites around my way are pretty shit, tinder is the best so I've found.

And as my male friend always reminds me "don't listen to their words watch their actions" he's told me this for the last few years and I totally agree.

Haha no guys I did not date Soho - just meant Popcorn was so similar, might as well have been the same guy.

Sorry. Sloppy English!

There's also a few good books out there I've read.

It's one by the author of the rules. It's called the rules for online dating.

I highly recommend it. It changed my approach on things online/texting/IM etc

There's another rules book called 'The rules for the digital age'. Is that the same book I wonder?