Hi. You may remember my other thread about the emotionally abusive marriage I am in, and how poisonous he is to my children. Well, after the police told him to leave it was lovely for 2 days, but then he came back. The house is joint tenancy, so he has a legal right to be here. He promised we would talk, but then spent 2 hours slating the kids, telling them all THEIR faults etc...I couldn't believe it. After all that had happened. Anyway, a few days later I got a call from social services. the police had referred the case onto them, and they wanted to interview me and the kids. A social worker came around and I decided to tell him everything...I didn't make any of it up, just told him the truth, as did the children. he went away, and a few days later called and asked H to come in for a meeting. H cancelled the meeting, saying he didn;t think he would be home in time. They asked him to call when he got home so they could come to the house, but he ignored this too, as well as messages on the phone etc all from social services. The social worker told me that if H didn't cooperate, then they would have no choice but to call a child protection meeting as they considered my children to be at significant risk of harm due to emotional abuse.
So...now they have written to H, telling him in no uncertain terms that he can't ignore them, and that if he doesn't show on 3rd Jan at 4pm then they will press ahead. I opened the letter when it came, because I didn;t want Christmas to be any worse than it was going to be...I have to give it to him tonight.
Christmas was a nightmare. he shouted at DS an hour into the day for spilling water in the kitchen...told him to 'clean this f*ing s**t hole up'...again at night because DS stood in front of the telly and H was convinced that he had done it deliberately, and me and the kids had to spend all afternoon and evening on Christmas day watching the soaps etc in the kitchen while he sprawled on the settee because he wouldn't 'watch that shite on the telly'!
It's looking increasingly likely that we will end up in a refuge, as even if the abuse stopped I can never forgive him for what he has done, and I cannot live under the scrutiny of social services. they want him to go to counselling and parenting classes...I know he will refuse but even if he agreed they would want constant proof. If he doesn't agree then they will be considered 'at risk'. I am told that if I leave him their involvement will stop as they have no concerns about me, only him.
So...any info about refuges appreciated. What are they really like? Has anyone laft with nothing and managed to start again? how long did anyone stay in one? Where were they rehoused?
I am loathe to leave our stuff in the house. Most of it is mine, and I will never be able to replace some of it...I really need to find a lock up or storage place but I have no money now as I had to close the business because of him. Things like photos, toys, personal stuff etc...
Anyway, just thought I'd update and if anyone has any advice, experience, empty house up for grabs...(only joking about that last one!)...