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Original poster

Ghosted

112 replies

muffymk · 06/02/2016 23:46

Hi all

Im just so hurt, sad, angry.

My boyfriend ( I suppose he isnt now) has ghosted me. We were together for over two years. I knew he was at a crossroads in his life with his job and kids but he then said that he didnt 'know' about us. He said this over the phone . He came over the Sunday but he was quieter than usual had sex. He told me he loved me in the morning and on Monday night he told me. Since then i have heard nothing even thought i keep messaging him desperately to give me some closure but again nothing. We saw each other nearly every day and this is killing me.

He always came here. I never even knew where he lived or met his kids..after two years. This is like a bad dream and my head keeps spinning. Its like im at some messy crime scene with no key witnesses telling me what happened

OP posts:
tingon · 07/02/2016 10:27

Perhaps he lived with his parents, lots of divorced men do for a while.

bouquetdiva · 07/02/2016 10:30

Did he not have suits, shirts, shoes and weekend things at your house?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/02/2016 10:40

I'm so sorry, OP, you sound quite bereft. Thanks

The 'little spoons' thing made me smile too. The things on that list that involve you are not big things; the things that focus on him though are quite big things... doesn't care for your opinion because you don't have a degree? Not.very.nice.

I wonder if he's a spy, working for MI5? Or maybe he thinks he is?

choceclair123 · 07/02/2016 10:48

There's something very wrong when you've been in a relationship for two years but have never been to your partner's home, met their friends and family. Basically you don't actually know very much about this person so don't be surprised to find he is actually living a double life or now has someone else. I'm very sorry you're going through this you must be in bits. No point in sending any more messages doesn't look like he's going to reply. If it was me though for the sake of my sanity I think I would need to find out some more about what's been going on. Maybe do some searches online for social media, home address etc using his name, email address, telephone number Thanks

Original poster
muffymk · 07/02/2016 19:19

Well he finally messaged

Apparently he says he loves me but he want to be part of a 'proper' family where everyone eats together and contributes...i have 2 teenagers one of who works odd hours and the other is a teenage girl wh is a picky eater and an 11 year old who is a dustbin.

I told him i loved him...then i re read the email and told him to go and have his dream family and to tell Robert Lindsay i said 'Hi' and That i now have my closure.

He wants the Waltons and I have a real life x

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 07/02/2016 19:24

Oh FFS.

That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Your children's heating habits have nothing at all to do with him.

fastdaytears · 07/02/2016 19:24

Or even their eating habits

LookAtMeGo · 07/02/2016 19:27

What an arse. I'm insulted on your behalf, OP.

Original poster
muffymk · 07/02/2016 19:33

He is a complete twat. The more i think about it he is a boy in mans clothes. Cant be doing with it. Im really glad i got that message. I have dodged a huge bullet

Hey the 1950s called and they want their attitude back. I am insultedx

OP posts:
inlectorecumbit · 07/02/2016 19:34

He will need a miracle to find that OP. Does he not know that the Walton's family life doesn't exist?

I think you are well shot. Flowers

fastdaytears · 07/02/2016 19:36

Love this whole "contributing" thing btw when you were paying rent for the house he was sleeping in...

CalleighDoodle · 07/02/2016 19:37

Firstly i have to agree with him that dishwashers should be filled back fo front. That makes rhe most sense.

Secondly, people who live in homes where little spoons dont go missing are the weird ones.

I cannot work out the living arrangements at all. He was at your house 8pm-8am all but 4 nights a month. Thats living with someone. So if he was living elsewhere and not staying there what was the point? Unless he wasnt paying for his own place. Otherwise surely he would think the money was a waste. That fact you didnt do his washing, he didnt do it at your house, but he was at your house every evening im going with the pp who said he is living with his parents. Who else but a mother or wife would do someones washing?

Not that any of that matters apart from how to load a dishwasher because he has gone and been quite an arse about it. Block him, phone your friends and arrange dates with your friends in the near future to have fun.

CalleighDoodle · 07/02/2016 19:38

i love robert lyndsey

Original poster
muffymk · 07/02/2016 19:47

He is looking for perfection and i cant give it. I live in the real world. He likes his brands and his Homes & Gardens and i like long lay ins and Netflix.

Nothing was ever good enough in his eyes. I taught boxing ffs. Im kick arse. He can have Felicity Kendal or Zoe Wanemaker....i would rather be Buffy any day x

OP posts:
Hissy · 07/02/2016 19:52

He has trashed your family.

Let that be the red card - don't betray your kids by ever letting him back. Ok?

You deserve way better than him.

He lived mostly at yours and contributed nothing.. He's not good enough for you

I know this hurts seedy, but it won't forever.

LookAtMeGo · 07/02/2016 19:54

I don't get the dishwasher thing. I couldn't even say that I load mine in a particular way. But I've got a slimline one so maybe that's why?! Confused

choceclair123 · 07/02/2016 19:57

Just wondering if his ex lives over 100 miles away with your kids and he sees them every other weekend, where does he spend time with them / live?

Original poster
muffymk · 07/02/2016 20:04

He stayed in the exes house while she stays with her bf...apparently

Or he would bring them to his parents house

I dont think i actually care anymore ...how weird

OP posts:
spanky2 · 07/02/2016 20:05

People like him are good at telling you what you want to hear when they want something from you. As soon as their attention is drawn elsewhere you are dropped like a hot brick, but it's your fault, and not theirs. He has had to hide the rest of his life from you. I wonder why? It's not you, why would you think he wasn't genuine? I bought twenty new teaspoons and they were all gone within two months. I think ds1 was leaving them at school after eating his yoghurt. Teaspoon fairy took them.

pinkyredrose · 07/02/2016 20:08

He sounds like a pompous insecure inadequate critical wanker.

You on the other hand OP sound awesome!

fastdaytears · 07/02/2016 20:20

I dont think i actually care anymore ...how weird

If you're like me, you'll be totally 100% couldn't-care-less, then swing into feeing awful then end up somewhere around the middle. Stick with it.

Original poster
muffymk · 07/02/2016 20:29

I just feel like something was stolen. I try to see the good in people. I would never let anyone go for the reasons he gave but that proves to me that he will never find happiness as he isn't content with himself. I like me. I am content with myself and I know I will get through it. It's like I have been given new eyes

OP posts:
FredaMayor · 07/02/2016 20:30

He stayed in the exes house while she stays with her bf

Or his ex is not an ex.

Teaspoons get thrown away.

Original poster
Muffymk · 07/02/2016 20:32

He was very critical and judgemental. I saw the red flags but I ignored them. I thought I saw a light in him but it was all smoke and mirrors.x.

OP posts:
Original poster
Muffymk · 07/02/2016 20:34

No. She was definitely an ex. Was all amicable until she got a boyfriend..

OP posts: