The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Battling The Wicked Wine Witch, One Day At A Time!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse, one of the Babes who have been on this lovely, rickety bus called Gerald for some time now!

There's no judgy pants worn on this bus, nor hoking of bosoms!! It's filled with every day life, love and laundry. As simple as that. The rest falls in between.

We're a welcoming, supporting thread, filled with a mine of information from many years of experience, from those who have consumed alcohol day in, day out...hidden the 'habit', the lie, disguised our drinking with many an excuse. So perfected over the years or new to the guilt of drinking more than you think you should.....

Anyway, old or new, lurker or not, come and say hello to us if you feel the need. We'd love to meet you if we haven't already :)

Thank you for reading this, find a seat, hide green opal fruits if you find any, they're like gold dust around here! Aren't they ma!!

See you soon, I hope.

Mouse x

And, if you'd like to see where we all began, sit with a cup of tea/coffee and have a peek at this - the beginning

And our latest thread that will take you back to many others enjoy your read!

Sorry clearly can't read Lobster you mentioned Fridays!
Elephant happy Friday to you babe x

Elba hope you managed to have a good sleep x

I drank tonight, I'm really upset. Plus I bought a bottle of wine secretly and was drinking that as well as what we had with dinner. I can picture that empty bottle hidden in a cupboard downstairs and am so ashamed.

Does anyone have any tips on how get over cravings for when they hit? As I have young children it's not easy to leave the house. I was really happy today so I wasn't even drinking to elevate my mood. Also struggling with the one day at a time philosophy. I want to give up forever and can't get my head around taking it one day at a time for the rest of my life.

Good morning Cunning please don't beat yourself up. That was then, this is now. What I did was I gave up in chunks so I started with dry jan (which is the obvious one) then failed completely for a few months and then I got hammered at my bday lunch last year and woke up feeling like death, that was when I decided to try 100 days, that was my target, it would give my liver a decent rest, I had a purpose, I'm not saying it was easy but I managed it. Could you try giving up in 100 day chunks?
What's the longest AF run that you've done? Does your DH know that you want to give up and is he trying too? Or supporting you? I'm on my own with DC so it's easy for me not to have booze in the house.
Brush yourself down get yourself a fat coke make a bacon sandwich & put last night down to experience, buy yourself lots of treats and start again today. Hugs to you lovely x

Thanks Spanna that means a lot. I really like the idea of an 100 day challenge!

Pressed post too soon. I managed 3 months once, and of course didn't drink while pregnant. DH know I can to cut it out although he doesn't know how much. He still drinks though is much more moderate.

Morning cunning! As spanna says, please don't beat yourself up. Think of it as a tiny slip. I confess that I did (and still do) find the one day at a time concept helpful, as the notion of an AF life seemed to stretch ahead of me like a long and dusty road with no more by-path meadows (as marriage was once described).

The "hidden bottle" really resonated! In my very darkest of dark days, I'd have a "water" bottle (filled with vodka) in my bag, for swigs when I went to the toilet, as no one drank fast enough for me. Last night I met friend in a pub and drank tea all night - some friends know why and others just think I'm teetotal. It genuinely doesn't bother me now, but if you'd told me that years ago, I would never have believed you.

Like you, I was more inclined to drink if I was in a good mood (or at times, if the day of the week ended in a "y"). I did make lists of the pros and cons of drinking, where pros were zero other than the first rush - and the cons could fill an encyclopaediac sized tome.

I second a hearty breakfast and an indulgent day. Call a friend and arrange to meet? Be nice to yourself.

Morning and thank you for the warm welcome I am reading and learning many good tips and much that resonates with me
I used to hide bottles and drink them when my partner was away then disposed of the empties in someone else's recycling bin. Hope i can put as much effort into sobriety as I did obtaining wine and covering my tracks ! 😀

Lobster I was so familiar with the 'they drink so slowly, for gods sake hurry up' eying the bottle to make sure I've had my share & that no one has had more than ME
Cunning seriously just as Lobster says I really never thought I could ever live without alcohol. I am living proof that you can. I seriously admire the babes who can moderate, I know for certain that I can not
I am very happy to start today with your 100 days. I can hold your hand as I know other babes will too. What do reckon? Have you downloaded the 'I'm done drinking' app? I found this really useful, although it's in dollars, you can really see how much you save & how many days, glasses, cases etc that you haven 't consumed. Sad git that I am, it really helped me. And if I was starting over again I would put the money away and spend it on a holiday or spa day etc. x

Cunning I've just looked at my app - I've not drunk 28 cases of wine & I've not spent £3322 on wine that really does make me wish I'd put the money aside

I would love some hand holding, thank you! You babes are very inspiring. Downloading that app now xx

That's a good idea spanna to put the money away into savings. I did that once when I tried to give up smoking when I was much younger and I saved enough for a course of driving lessons. I didn't fully manage to kick the smoking habit until I was pregnant. Sadly I restarted drinking post pregnancy and haven't really stopped.

My DH said to me yesterday that he's joined a wine club and just ordered 15 bottles which get delivered today. I said to him I can't believe it and hasn't he noticed I'm trying to cut down? He said he did think the recycling box looked better! Aaaarrrgghh!

Cunning you'll need to replace the sugar that you'd get from wine, I suggest lots of lovely sweet treats, sweets, cakes (bake some, also a good distraction & kids can help), tasty soft drinks ( Fever ginger beer is yum) posh teas also good, think it's tea pig? Really treat yourself! Next think about parts of the day that trigger the reaching for wine, I used to reach for a glass bottle as soon as I walked in the door, whilst cooking etc Change your routines. It's about distracting yourself until the craving's gone
All Babes have some great tips, different things work for different folk, this is the first day to a calm and sober life

Yes, brilliant one spanna - I haven't done it through apps but, being a sad accountant, I've measured out my life with Excel spreadsheets and I have one that calculates roughly how much I've saved, AF days per month etc. It's actually horrifying how much I used to spend - the really awful ones (worse in some ways than waiting impatiently for the nearest supermarket to open at 6am) are when I would go to the nearest pub, a 30 second walk, and buy a bottle of wine from them, at a grossly inflated price.

Cunning - I'm thinking of additional motivation. Vanity was one for me - drinking didn't make me gain weight but it bloated my face and had a horrible effect on my skin - there was a sort of oily sheen to it. Effect on my DD was a huge one - she's incredibly attuned to me and would not only know if I had had so much as a sip, but would know if I was even thinking of it. I still have massive regrets but they are futile. All I know now is that I want her to head off to university this year without worrying about me. Work: I'm ashamed to admit that I have effectively lost jobs (although I have made up what I hope are plausible excuses) when I could sense the Wine Witch gaining control.

I think my main incentive was the memory of how truly awful the withdrawal is - not even just the physical symptoms but the sheer dread of the guilt, the remorse, the paranoia - these are the only times I can say I have been truly depressed, and I hesitate before using the word because it has always been so self inflicted.

Reading on here helped. Although not a real AA advocate, the Big Book helped. Googling the effects of alcohol can be quite scary - sometimes I needed that - I don't want to leave DD an effective orphan. Telephoning a friend who really understands is a lifeline but I'd be the first to admit that if I have decided I'm drinking, I'm not going to be telling anyone in a hurry.

Anyway I'll stop rambling now ... wishing you and all other bus babes a wonderful Saturday.

Bicycle I can't remember whether your moderating or going for AF? I think I would go & spend the equivalent of what DH has spent on wine club on a treat just for you. Facial, manicure, spa, you get the idea. I still smoke (not loads) and indulge in the odd spliff now and then

Sorry - one more - sleep patterns. The sheer joy of having a wonderful eight hour sleep, not waking up drenched in sweat, reaching for a bottle, filled with negative thoughts. Waking up and actually looking forward to the day and being alive rather than longing for it to be over.

I did the posh teas too, as spanna says. The red berry ones worked best for me - with added sweetener or sugar.

I'm moderating spanna. I don't know how I'll ever get to be able to think about Dry January or 100 days AF at the moment. I had an unexpected AF day this week which is my first in probably over 10 years. DH has paid for the wine but I'm going out for the day with DC so will definitely get a treat today! Makes me think DH is not as tuned in to the wine witch problem as I thought.

ginger you make a very good point about the effort we put into drinking and concealing it. We know we can put huge effort I to doing things we want to do, but when it comes to something that (deep down) we don't really want to do, then we "fail".
I make every excuse possible to avoid exercise because although I want the toned body and health benefits, I don't want them enough to get out and earn them. I want to save my job so I work stupid hours and give it everything to try and keep it.
As mouse often says on here, you have to want sobriety with every inch of your being to stick at it. Or,like my brother, be days away from death before the will to fight kicks in. (For those who have followed his story, can you believe he will be 3 years sober in May?)

Welcome ginger hows it going? Totally second you on becoming an expert at covering your tracks…although i often wonder how good i actually was??

sober your poor dog! I hope the healing process goes well. It reminds me of when my MIL let my SIL crawl around on the floor as she didn’t believe her ankle hurt….turns out it was broken

winter I also find exercise helps immensely - often have to force myself to do it but boy does it lift my mood and self esteem.

Spanna well done for riding out the cravings…they can be so so strong can’t they? It feels so good though when it passes and you’ve not succumbed. Take that WW! And that is such an incredible saving….28 cases of wine! Amazing, well done.

Hi cunning like the others have said, be kind to yourself, sweet treats help with the cravings - i find i have to keep myself full (hunger is a huge trigger for me as i like the feeling of wine on an empty stomach) and being away from my ‘normal’ place to drink. I also have a young dd so can’t escape out to distract me but find baking in the kitchen really helps. How about adult colouring books (impossible to do when drinking!), jigsaws? Reading? All of these i have to ‘force’ myself to do but i do like it when i get going.

Ma i do hope you find out about your job soon, that must be so stressful. And well done to your brother - just shows that it is possible to come back from the brink.

Mouse I hope you are ok, we’ve not heard from you in a while?

On the subject of apps I downloaded the dry january app which is great and record on that every day that i drink/don’t drink - it calculates money saved and days dry per month, it rolls over month to month so so far I have 31 af days in January, 14 af days in February and predicted 12 af days in March (which isn’t bad considering this month i'll have had a week holiday, a girly weekend away and Easter), my next aim is to have a dry April. Someone suggested (faire maybe?) that having lengthy sober periods throughout the year can help to cut down considerably….so that is what i’m trying!

Still on holiday here….moderating comfortably, about a bottle of wine a day which isn’t bad when my drinking usually starts with a glass as lunch. Had a terrible bout of sickness a couple of nights ago (the closest thing to labour contractions i have had bar the real thing!) which i think is because i’ve been eating ‘properly' here (i.e. 3 full meals a day) - my stomach just totally rejected the food. I have long had suspicions that i have IBS so am going to the Doctor when i get back to have some investigations.

Anyway, at the moment i am happy but them i’m always happy when i’m on holiday and can drink relatively freely. Will see what my mood is like on monday when i start a 4 day af period.

Sorry for the mega post! Happy saturday babes.

ma that's made me think how much honestly do I want to sort my drinking, and in truth I think at this moment deep down I'm not sure I do. But a few weeks ago I did, desperately, and I can't work I why now I've started to reach out for some help my resolve has weakened. It's not just alcohol either, a few weeks ago I was concerned about my appetite/weight loss and trying to improve my diet and add calories, now I'm starting to embrace it a bit if I'm honest and enjoying seeing the scales go down. So basically I seem to be on a bit of a self destruct mission and I can't work out why my mindset has changed so much.

feel a bit selfish or even attention seeking as have probably worried a lot of people, taken up a lot of my doctors time and taking up counselling appointments that other people might make much better use of than me if I don't engage with what's being offered.

That being said I'm feeling more positive today than I have over the last couple of weeks. Work tomorrow/Monday so will be up at 5.30 and therefore will have to moderate. Have four days off next week, and a weekend away with a friend which we booked ages ago. She enjoys her wine so will drink with me, but she has a stop button which I don't! Will also make me eat properly for a couple of days which I guess can only be a good thing. Hopefully getting away might help 'reset' something to get a bit more motivation and positivity back in me...don't like who I'm becoming at the moment!

Hope everyone's having a good weekend, and claret enjoy the rest of your holiday!

Ginger that really resonated with me as well. I can always find time and effort to put in to having a drink if I'm on one, and I will move heaven and earth to sort things out for the kids ... but when it comes to doing things that are good for me (even such as making and keeping doctor's appointments) then I don't. And Ma that is so right about exercise. I have been faffing about starting and stopping the 30 Day Shred for about 3 years now! I have a gym membership I hardly use any more. A cupboard full of protein shakes and bloody chia seeds which I have to shove out of the way to get to the biscuits! I'm ashamed. In fact who am I kidding, the healthy stuff is at the back of the cupboard, possibly under a layer of dust. I would walk over broken glass to go and buy a bottle of red wine some nights yet can't for the life of me go to the bother of making a low carb breakfast

I am feeling so bad about self-sabotaging (gave up sugar for Lent only to increase my intake of bread and butter tenfold therefore missing the point) that I am going to pledge on here to do the HASFIT Warrior 90. I have just about exactly 90 days before my big work project comes to fruition and I have 3 weeks or so staying in hotels on site and working round the clock. I would like to be slim and energetic while I do so, not a slob with no nice clothes who is running on crappy carbs and dying for the end of the day when I can pick myself up with a G&T. One of my main excuses for not doing it is that I have let our back room where I exercise get into a huge mess, piles of paperwork and ironing all over it so I am going to clean it out tomorrow and then do a healthy shop! Right now am going to put away the 6+ bags of washing I have left lying around the house. So I will start on Monday and you babes must hold me to account.

Cunning how are you doing today? I hope you've had a bacon sarnie and a coke (or vegetarian equivalent if that applies!). If you go for the 100 days challenge you can't do better than have the lovely Spanna Superwoman to support you (and am not just saying that because my boots arrived this morning and are lovely, and I can't believe I got them for that price! - cheers Spanna)

Claret glad you are having a good holiday. I have always wanted to go to Iceland but not quite enough to forgo a sunbathing holiday ... also the expense means I don't want to go with the family! I want to go on my own with a friend and need to shake off that lot first, haha!

Lobster, Elba, Faire, Venus, Bicycle, Winter, Sober, Margie, Elephant and anyone I have inadvertently missed - hope you are all having as good a weekend as circumstances allow ... am not going to procrastinate any longer, am going to get tidying up and worry about what I just have committed to out loud... (if anyone wants to do it with me, google HASFIT, it's a load of free exercise videos online. I am already thinking of excuses not to do it in my head... sigh)

I am doing OK thanks looking! All of the Cunnings are full of the cold and feeling grotty. The good thing about this is I do not fancy a drink in the least! So day 1 will require little effort.

Good luck with the washing. Hope everyone else is having a good Saturday, it's a lovely day here down South x

PS I have my Insanity exercise DVDs waiting for me (had a c-section 2 minutes ago so need to wait a bit). They are crazy if you are after a challenge!

2 minutes? 2 months rather!