The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Battling The Wicked Wine Witch, One Day At A Time!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse, one of the Babes who have been on this lovely, rickety bus called Gerald for some time now!

There's no judgy pants worn on this bus, nor hoking of bosoms!! It's filled with every day life, love and laundry. As simple as that. The rest falls in between.

We're a welcoming, supporting thread, filled with a mine of information from many years of experience, from those who have consumed alcohol day in, day out...hidden the 'habit', the lie, disguised our drinking with many an excuse. So perfected over the years or new to the guilt of drinking more than you think you should.....

Anyway, old or new, lurker or not, come and say hello to us if you feel the need. We'd love to meet you if we haven't already :)

Thank you for reading this, find a seat, hide green opal fruits if you find any, they're like gold dust around here! Aren't they ma!!

See you soon, I hope.

Mouse x

And, if you'd like to see where we all began, sit with a cup of tea/coffee and have a peek at this - the beginning

And our latest thread that will take you back to many others enjoy your read!

Morning.

Thanks for the name check, Pop. I've been having some struggles, but I've managed to get to day three today, and feel a bit closer to being in control. Work is a bit crazy at the moment, so I won't be posting again until the weekend, but I wanted to send my support to Nobody, and Ma I have my fingers crossed for your hard work to be rewarded.

Love and strength to all.

Just a thought. My CBT course has been really helpful, especially the mantra that motivation follows action (a more British version of Oprah's fake it 'til you feel it).

Nobody don't wait to feel you 'deserve' it. Change your name; how about 'Somebodyspecialagain'?

Morning sweet, nobody and everyone else on the bus. It's a cold one down here ..... nobody, that sounds very sensible for the time being. I've only had full-on DTs once, had no idea what was happening to me and genuinely thought that I was going insane - locking ghosts in the bathroom, everything electrical talking to me, accusing my mother of implanting a monitoring device in my ear, hearing voices everywhere .... followed by a seizure. At the hospital I asked for a priest to exorcise me! Can you get to a GP and ask for some Diazepam? Actually .... probably better to wait until you are confident that you don't need the drink any more, as mixing isn't a good idea (yep, done that one too).

A day at a time, however you feel you can get through at the moment. Glad that you posted again. xx

I don't post a lot on MN but have name changed for this which I hope is ok.

I've read this thread and recognise myself in what many of you are saying.

I drink every day and have done for years. I don't start until I get home from work at about 7.30 but then I have about 2 bottles of beer and half a bottle of wine and more at the weekend or more if my husband is having a drink too. He doesn't drink much and sits here with squash usually while I'm on the wine. He works away a lot and I like it when he's away as I can drink more without feeling guilty. I buy booze in different shops or make sure I rotate my way around shop ladies on the till to avoid the same people seeing my trolley. I hide bottles from the recycling box so the weekly walk of shame with the bottles is minimised. I'm not really getting drunk - tipsy maybe. I'm pretty stressed at work and I always say that's why I do it but it's a habit. I don't get hangovers.

I feel like I'm doing life wrong. I feel on edge if there's no booze in the house and make all sorts of elaborate moves to make sure we have some in. I'm overweight and I think a lot of that is due to the booze but I have no self control with food either. I'm so unfit and I worry about the impact on my health but it doesn't seem to be enough to stop me and make me do something differently.

To the outside world though I'm an average middle aged woman with a great husband and family, lovely house, new cars, fabulous holidays but in my heart of hearts I think I might be alcoholic. Am I? Is that what I am?

Hi like (or ride or bicycle!) welcome, pull up a chair. So much of what you said had me nodding along - you are not alone.

Are you an alcoholic? That's not for me to say but I can assure you that you are in the right place for support with alcohol on this board. Alcoholic or not.

What would you like your goal to be? Stop completely? Moderate to certain days a week dry? Continue drinking most days but just cut down volume? Deciding this is a good starting point.

Others will be along to offer advice shortly I'm sure X

I guess the name I've chosen is ironic really as I can't remember how to ride a bike at all! I had an embarrassing failed attempt at Center Parcs a few years ago

I've not really thought about goals because I just keep doing the same thing and don't want it to get worse but I suppose I'd like to just start by drinking less. I've not thought about it like this before which I guess is the first part to acknowledging the problem.

I kind of feel like I did when I stopped smoking. I had to do it as I was pregnant but I tried every delaying tactic you can think of even though i wanted to stop for my baby, part of me didn't want to stop at all.

Hello Iliketoride. Yes, a lot of what you say makes sense and resonates: the first part is definitely acknowledging the problem - the first step in AA is that we admitted that we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable (I might add here that I am not an all flags waving AA advocate but have been, on and off, to meetings over the years and have cherry picked the parts that work for me - it works for some and it doesn't for others).

You mention the word "habit". I think it's very hard to tell when a habit becomes an addiction, with the emphasis on "addiction" generally being thought of as a bad thing, whereas a habit isn't necessarily bad (e.g. cleaning your teeth twice a day). I'm also not convinced that using a label like "alcoholic" is helpful. It doesn't define you as a person .... so in answer to your question as to "am I am alcoholic?" - I suppose that I would say how much would the absence of alcohol bother you. In my "old" days, I really needed it, physically and psychologically, every day. Conversely in my non-drinking days I was initially very scared of alcohol and couldn't have any in the house in case I drank it - I wouldn't even walk down my well-trodden path of the supermarket aisles in case my resolve deserted me and I clutched a few bottles and ran, gasping, for the till.

Try to alternate drinking with non-drinking days, maybe? If you are not ready to quit, you probably wont keep to any resolution and that may make you panic (only "may" - depends on how you react in general). Try not think to things like "I cannot spend the rest of my life without alcohol" because thoughts like that can make you carry on out of fear of something being banned and taken away. Just think of today. In the early days of stopping I would think of each day an hour at a time. If you trip up, don't worry. You're thinking of the rest of your life. Think of replacing your evening drinking time with something that you truly enjoy, since a habit replaced with a void can be very difficult to deal with, especially if you're using drink as a way of dealing with stress, switching off, escaping from the drudgery of life. Phone a friend, have a luxurious bath, find a really good book (that one was my saviour).

Oh and the food issues often (not always) go hand in hand with drink issues. Masses of AA people say that their primary addiction is food - I was bulimic as a teenager and it carried on for years.

I probably haven't answered everything you asked but wish you all the very best and do keep posting here as it's full of people with great empathy who do not judge.

Hugs, bicycle. If you think your drinking is a problem. If it's causing you upset or trouble, then it's a problem. It might be as simple as recognising it and cutting down, it might be more difficult than that. Everyone here is lovely.

Lobster, no way do I want to hallucinate and go deeper into that hell. You poor thing! The snakes and beetles were enough to tell me this wasn't going to work alone.

Thank you all for your replies. It feels really good actually to have been open and honest about this for the first time, even if it's not out loud. I've resisted temptation to go to the shops to buy more. I've got 3 beers and half a bottle of wine for tonight which would be more than enough for most people on a school night! I'm going to following this thread for support A LOT!

Hi bicycle (and big hugs to nobody )

I completely understand where you are - where drinking seems like the only answer, and where controlling a little bit of your drinking can feel like the only control you have in life.

I've been on this topic since close to the beginning, and I can tell you that 5 or 6 years on my world is completely different. I rarely drink at all (and I mean rarely - like 2 or 3 times a year). But that is because I mostly don't want to drink.

When I started posting I could not imagine that I'd ever be in control of my drinking or my situation, and yet here I am: calm, happy, resourceful, balanced. It is quite amazing (for me - I am amazed that I am like this). It didn't happen overnight, but it has happened, it is possible.

Keep on keeping on.

That's amazing Venus!

You sound like you are catching the problem in time, bicycle. Well done!

bicycle I can identify so much with what you've posted, even down to the drinks (I have lager then wine too). I can relate to the rotating of shops etc too, especially as I stick to my brand religiously. I tread a very fine line between my professional life and my drinking, and am paranoid constantly about being 'found out' in some way. Only posted here for the first time a few weeks ago, and I am still struggling. However Im clinging to the fact that I'm moving forward by at least being honest about my drinking and trying to change. I'm scared to try and have any days without alcohol, for now at least, but have been using an app to track units. I was actually having over 100 units a week before I posted (2-4 pints of lager, half to a bottle of wine and often then raiding the spirits depending on whether I was working the next day), but am now managing around 70ish a week. I'm trying to cut back more each week, it's bloody hard though and in the last week or so I've gone up rather than down on units.

I personally don't like the label of 'alcoholic'. 'Alcohol dependence' sits much better with me, I can admit that at this moment in time I am dependant on alcohol be it psychically or psychologically (or both). It is also not a recognised diagnostic term anymore, so technically no one can say you are an alcoholic.

I'm on a run of four shifts (day, twilight, two nights) that mean drinking opportunities are limited and its made me a bit panicky. Also have first counselling appointment tues am then back on days weds so no real opportunity to slip up...should be a positive but a big bit of me is thinking oh shit I can't get drunk for a week.

sweet "motivation follows action" is such a helpful mantra. I'm going to add it to my other one which was also cbt based ("act opposite to emotion").

special big hugs.

Morning all.

Day four. Yesterday I spent a lot of time thinking about drinking - typical day three, I'd done two days so I was feeling better and a bit self congratulatory, but I was very conscious that that was the thought pattern, so I was able to get through it. So glad I did. I walked around the supermarket muttering "I won't regret NOT drinking tomorrow". Know what. It's true. I slept well, I feel better equipped to make it through today.

Bicycle welcome to the bus. I think we choose the term that fits. For me at the moment 'my drinking is a problem'. I used to order wine to be delivered by the case, but then get embarrassed how quickly I was getting through it, so I would sneak bottles from the supermarket into the wine racks to fill the gaps . Claret is right, you need to consider your goals, otherwise how will you know you are making progress? A unit tracker and a diminishing target might be a good idea; I can't do moderation so I just avoid the first glass. And, what Lobster said, don't think about your whole life, keep delaying, find a small task that will take you twenty minutes and review again after that. Do a clay face mask that means you cant drink, paint your nails so you cant pick up the glass; get your DH to give you a foot rub. And finally, replace - you're in the habit of having a glass in your hand, change what is in the glass - I find Fevertree naturally light ginger beer has a real kick to it, make sure you add lots of ice.

Happy Friday to all the other Babes. Back later.

Morning Every Lovely Brave Babe

Happy Friday to you all!

hey babe, well done on the 'day 2' syndrome Have a good day darling x

Welcome Special, Elba you're in the right place for some heart felt support from others who know what you're going through

Lobster welcome back, you are doing amazingly well some great advice x

All ok in Spannaworld fast approaching one year sober, can't quite believe it I am living proof that it can be done. I kept falling off the bus, day 3 being tricky (impossible at times) then the Day 7 syndrome (well, I've done one week lets celebrate, I'm sure I'll be able to moderate now) Yeah righto

I am one who can't moderate, I have no 'off button'. I really admire those that can but it's not for me. That first drink will guarantee my downfall. So I continue one day at a time and 'watch the film through until the end' as I know the ending very very well and it's not a pretty picture.

Just want to say Hello to Hope where are you daring, are you ok?

Fox you ok honey, come back darling, it doesn't matter if your in the side car. I miss your posts

Beaches flower, hugs to you as always are you buried in snow?

Ma any news on the job? hope DD1 is doing ok xxx

Baby darling Mwah and hugs xxx

Claret hello lovely x

Margie darling how are you? hope all ok x

Pop how you doing? x

Rural you must be lambing now, I expect it's a busy time for you x

Joey where are you darling? how's it going? x

Isinde you ok? hugs x

Nuff hope all ok x

Sorry for lengthy post and sorry not to mention you all. Hugs and hopes for today. Friday night (in my case straight after school run) can be very tricky, distract, distract, distract, try not to let the Wine Witch persuade you that it's a good idea, think about how lovely it will be to wake up on Saturday without a hangover, gorilla armpit mouth, guilt, anxiety etc etc You all know the feelings!

Have a good day y'all

Sorry missed you there Bicycle you are in the right place for some amazing support, take a seat and post whenever you feel like it

The advice and support here is amazing. I'm really so glad I found this thread. I didn't have my first drink until 9 pm last night so I just had the one beer and half a bottle of wine. I'm pleased with that.

Can you recommend an app Elba ? I think the reality of monitoring intake might be good for me.

I understand where you are coming from with the work pattern affecting drinking time. For me I'm noticing that it's the DC social life as they are getting older and need taxiing around that is getting in the way of my drinking (that sounds awful doesn't it?) On New Years Eve the DC went to a party which meant they would need picking up. We drew straws to see who would be the driver and it was me! I was fretting about that and had to wait to drink until we got home at 2 am. My DH couldn't believe what I was doing! To him it was an opportunity blown to say I'd had one night with no alcohol.

Thank you all. You're inspiring me.

Hello. Welcome new babes. Ashamed waves to others. Did three days sober then got totally shitfaced with a well known drinking partner last night. On train on way to work feeling truly hideous. Why can I not play the film through. I had a brilliant dry January and when I don't drink I feel amazing. But when I do I have no off button. I just keep on going and going. I know deep down I need to give up completely. Why do I not feel ready?

I'm drinking. Dh, kids sleeping.

I need company, just no stop drinking nobody. Not tonight. I'm doing everything , school for kids, lifting bathing, toiketibg, taking to the doc. Please.

Hey Special, I'm just on a break between lectures. You are carrying so much weight right now, it may be difficult to imagine, but the burden will feel lighter without alcohol in the long term.

What are you doing for yourself at the moment? Tell me something you have done to look after you even if it's just locking the bathroom door to brush your teeth without interruption.

Oh hey Special. Here's me moaning and I've got nothing to moan about at all really. I've read your other post about your poorly DH. You are being so brave. What time is it where you are? I really hope you can get some rest.

......sneaks in and tentativley takes a seat.....

I need to be here, just not sure exactly what I'm aiming to do yet, but my drinking is increasing again dispite saying I would cut down in the new year.

Sorry very brief post as off to work, but bicycle app I use is Drinkaware. Also tracks calories (which is an eye opener!!) and money spent on each drink.

3.46am

I washed my hair, clean clothes. Cried.

Welcome on board, Winch. Grab a seat, and tell us as much about yourself as you feel comfortable, you're among friends.

Special it's ok to cry when times are tough. Clean hair and clothes is good.

I downloaded the Drinkaware app as Elba suggested. I'm on at least 80 units a week. I didn't think it would be that much . And the calories! No wonder I don't lose weight! I've been shopping but I've bought smaller beers so I think I'm going to start with smaller glasses of wine, smaller bottles of beer and starting to drink later in the day. I don't think I can do no drinking days yet.