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Original poster

Honest opinion of gingers

115 replies

EmmaBray · 25/01/2016 22:29

Hello, my work colleague is a male ginge and seems to regard himself as being a suitable subject for the undateables! He's a lovely man and would do anything for anyone and he is really funny once he opens up. Problem is he's painfully shy at first especially around women, think looking at his feet whilst talking. He is a bit naive and has been taken for a fool before now as well as having people openly insult him with regards to his colouring. Anyway to cut a long story short he has given up on looking altogether since his last online dating fiasco. Any thoughts negative or positive to help?

OP posts:

Sallystyle · 25/01/2016 22:32

Well my first husband had the brightest orange hair. It really was super bright and orange.

We divorced (not because of his hair!) and he had no problem marrying someone else.

Our children all have dark hair, but I am expecting ginger grandchildren.

Some people love it, some people hate it but it doesn't make anyone undateable. His confidence would be the biggest issue and looking at his feet, not his colouring I doubt.

hownottofuckup · 25/01/2016 22:33

I have a bit of a preference for ginger hair tbh.

antimatter · 25/01/2016 22:33

He should just go and socialise with all sorts of people without looking for a date!

steppemum · 25/01/2016 22:34

to be honest, I am not easily offended but your title and post have annoyed me quite a lot.

This guy is shy and has social issues, but your post seems to be suggesting he has a problem because he has red hair?

Dh is a red head. I find him very attractive.
Ds is a red head, he is going to break hearts at some point.
I haven't noticed that famous red heads have a problem.

ds finds 'ginger' highly offensive by the way, and ginge is horrible.

Akire · 25/01/2016 22:36

I'm ginger and yes sadly is hell a lot of ginger-ism out there. Much much more towards men. Even had my own sisters say I don't mind having a ginger if it's a girl but not a boy!

It's the one of the first things people will say oh no you have ginger kids.... Yes there maybe some people who don't care a monkeys but if you ask a pub full women if they would go out with a ginger you probable get a very low response. Sorry not what you want to hear just my experience!

Sallystyle · 25/01/2016 22:36

Ginge is horrible but I don't think ginger is. My husband would say he was ginger, I never really thought that it might offend someone.

Sallystyle · 25/01/2016 22:38

I had a midwife stay hours after her shift because she wanted to see if DS had his dads hair. He was bald

I have had comments about how I must be lucky that my children have my colouring and not their dads

Scarletforya · 25/01/2016 22:38

I can't say I find ginger/red haired men attractive. Just a personal preference. However ginger/red haired women tend to be far more attractive.

Sallystyle · 25/01/2016 22:38

how I must be happy... not lucky.

Cantseetheforest · 25/01/2016 22:38

Love redheads! My dh is strawberry blonde and I love it. It's faded away now, apart from his facial hair.

Vixxfacee · 25/01/2016 22:39

I love ginger/ red hair. Beautiful unusual colour and something to be proud of.

Shallishanti · 25/01/2016 22:41

honestly I have never heard of this
forget all about the hair colour, forget all about dating, find a nice hobby that men and women his age enjoy, meet people he has something in common with
and especially forget about stupid people with stupid prejudices

Original poster

EmmaBray · 25/01/2016 22:42

I'm sorry to of caused any offence he uses the terms to describe himself so he wouldn't be upset. He has also overheard women hoping they don't have a ginger baby. I think online dating in general is a bit shallow as it is really just picture based. It was the fact that on one site women had listed desirable hair colour and red was thin on the ground.

OP posts:

Squeegle · 25/01/2016 22:43

It's hard to be a gingernut and shy. (I am). It means we go red and our shyness is very visible. I don't find ginger an abusive term btw, I will think of myself as ginger and I think it's nice! But not everyone does of course- but that's just horses for courses. Look at Chris Evans, it didn't hold him back. Or Fergie (hmm well, maybe not Fergie!)

WorraLiberty · 25/01/2016 22:43

Let me get this right.

You're going to stroll into work tomorrow morning and tell a work colleague, you've consulted Mumsnet about his hair colour and love life - or lack of it?

GingerCuddleMonsterThe2nd · 25/01/2016 22:44

Ginger people are lovely and love to cuddle #fact my nickname is gospel.

QuietWhenReading · 25/01/2016 22:46

I think red hair is gorgeous on both men and women.

A confident smile (even if you have to fake it) is the most attractive thing though.

mybloodykitchen · 25/01/2016 22:46

In relationships? 'Would you date a ginger?' Really?

Are you familiar with netmums?

MaisieDotes · 25/01/2016 22:49

Oh ffs. If he's painfully shy then that's clearly the issue, not his hair.

"A male ginge" - wtf. Do you think red haired people are another species OP?

"A man with red hair" is an adequate description, or "a ginger haired man", if you really must use the g word.

Fintan · 25/01/2016 22:54

What an odd post.
Did he ask you to consult MN on this subject?
Or are you going to work tomorrow to tell him you took it on yourself?

His shyness is more of an obstacle than his hair colour.

Fintan · 25/01/2016 22:54

kitchen

PainAuChocolat23 · 25/01/2016 22:55

Im of the red colouring but more auburn than proper carrot ginger and i jokingly say if ds has my colour i will shave his head. It became a running joke when i was pregnant and now he is 7 months old his hair is dark so he isnt going to be redheaded and im secretly glad as he wont face the bullying like i did when i was growing up. As it is now i get more men fascinated by by hair colour as it is so different to the rest

Lottie2611 · 25/01/2016 22:57

I'm not attracted to ginger men. Then again not really attracted to blonde men either.... I like a dark and brooding looking man

HeavyFrost · 25/01/2016 22:58

And you think having consulted a bunch of random internet strangers about the 'problem' of this colleague's hair colour is going to make him feel better about his romantic prospects?

He can't do anything about other people's stupidity and prejudice, but he could improve his romantic prospects by working on his confidence. I would have not the slightest problem with dating a red-haired man. I would find a desperately under-confident, naive, shoe-staring man, who thought he was undateable, very unattractive. It's not my job as a potential partner to jolly someone along and convince him he's worthwhile.

strandedabroad · 25/01/2016 23:03

I come from a country where redheads are very rare. There's no social connotation to having red hair, whether light/ginger/auburn. It's just a hair colour and it's usually appreciated as it's uncommon. My first boyfriend had red hair - my Mum couldn't shut up about how she was going to have grandchildren with red hair. She was so excited. (We split up and had no children - his hair colour wasn't to blame).

IMO if someone is already shy and lack confidence, having ginger hair can make it worse in this country due to prejudice. I feel sorry for your friend.

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