Not interested in sex. At all. Am I normal, depressed, or in need of help?!

[rewardformissingmojo]

3 kids, always tired, DH is brilliant but I feel bad for him. How often / infrequently should we DTD? I've always thought that No means No, but maybe I'm being selfish?

No advice but I'm exactly the same, one dd always shattered and poor dh has to go without. I have zero interest, it's nothing to do with dh I just can't bothered, that sounds really bad doesn't it!

It's not for us to say how frequently you should be having sex.

You need to speak to your DH, and be honest with each other about whether you're both happy with how things are - frequent and quality - at the moment.

When you dtd do you enjoy it? I find it's worth remembering how enjoyable it is, and committing to myself to go for it. Then the more I get the more I remember how nice it is and the more I remember to do it.

But to be honest if DH disappeared into space for 6 months I wouldn't miss it.

Thanks for answering.
butterfly Yes, exactly that. I have no interest in anyone else (I.e. on TV) either, it's not just DH!
purple Sometimes it's great, usually it's average. Often I'm resentful afterwards of the time taken that I could have been sleeping
DrGoogle DH would LOVE more sex! I think he's hoping this is just a phase....

You need to agree on a level your both happy with.
he needs to be making sure it is MUCH better than average

If you cant find a way through it, it will lead to resentment

I know how you feel. I could quite happily never have sex again. It's not DH, as you say, I'm just not bothered. It's problematic.

Dad that is my fear! I'm mildly resentful of his approaches, although obviously pleased he finds me desirable still.

I am however reassured that it's not just me! Has anyone gone through this and made it out the other side to a happy compromise?

I was much more interested during pregnancy, but our family is definitely complete now!

you have to talk this through

and find a way forward

the closeness that comes from feeling wanted / desirable is part of what bonds you to your partner

Its a tough one. Couples that play together, stay together

exactly Naze

dadneedshelp72 enjoyable sex is the responsibility of both people involved in the deed.

I could have written your posts. I have zero interest in sex with anyone, it just doesn't interest me.
When I have sex with DP I neither enjoy it nor dislike it. It just... happens.

And it's not a reflection on DP, I love him to bits and find him very attractive. I think it's chemical, or something?

Oh god, I need this thread too ... I have absolutely zero interest, poor dp, I wish I could but I can't even bring myself to just 'power through' and I feel awful, is there any type of counsellors who can help?? I adore DP and the thought of life without him horrifies me ... I just can't bring myself to do any of all that shagging malarkey

I don't really know what to say to him? He knows I'm never in the mood / always tired. I don't want him to feel undesirable.

I'm the same! I hope it doesn't last.

DH tells me he feels undesired and I feel awful about it.

gummy just...happens

I don't find him (or anyone else) attractive though. There's the rub.

Physically attractive, I should say - I adore him in every other way!

Another one in the same boat here i'm afraid. So no advice, but just to reassure you're not alone.

There's your problem. You don't want him to feel undesired but you don't desire him. Let the guy go.

Oh no Annoyed! Is there any way you can 'power through' as a pp put it, without him suspecting?

Welcome to the libido-free club, string stuff and gummy.

David noooooo!
I used to, hopefully will again. Just need to get out of this rut, excuse the pun.

If you cant fix this between you your relationship is doomed.

eventually one of you will want more "physically" than they are getting, and yes that could equally be YOU in the future not just him

You need to have a serious talk and work it out

Reward I manage about once a month at the moment and I want to more for him. It sucks! I'm still BF my dd once a day so I'm hoping that when that stops things will get better.