Really trying hard not to..

[suchstuffasbaddreamsaremadeof]

Text a man who has repeatedly just shown he has no respect for me, just wants me for sex and doesn't really treat me even as a friend. I have had NC with him for five days and i just want to text him really badly. Can anyone help?

Being told bluntly that I was being pathetic was not an overnight fix but it did kickstart the process of me extracting myself from the situation, until my headspace was free enough to work out how I'd got myself into that situation in the first place so I could protect myself from getting back there again.

It's takes time to sort your head out and work out why you were vulnerable to being used - whether that's through talking with friends, self-reflection, or talking to a counsellor - which can only really happen once you've managed to stop obsessively thinking about the person… which will only start to happen when you cut off all avenues of communication...

I'm staggered at the amount of recent threads like this. It's so sad. OP put more value on yourself.

I've had a fuck buddy before and it was great fun. Never left me feeling pathetic or like shit. The sign that you need to stop is the fact that you do end up feeling so horrible about it all.

Delete his number!!! It's not that difficult. By doing so you make room for someone to come into your life who doesn't make you feel like shit.

TooSassy

Sadly I think you are quite lucky to have avoided this scenario - as said it has happened to many of us, both women and men, all different kinds of personalities, backgrounds, ages... And I'm ashamed to say that I have treated someone very badly like this when I was quite young (though I never let it cross the line of sex so, you know, I was all innocent really and it wasn't that bad ). I cringe about that much more than I do having been the pathetic recipient of such treatment - it would have been preferable never to have experienced the latter, but I learnt a lot when I came out the other side… a major lesson being… this is never going to change for the better, the only change for the better is getting the hell out of there, blocking yourself from the possibility of future "moments of weakness" and work out what is going on with you that you would allow yourself to be treated badly.

"Can anyone help?"
OP, I can't help, instead I need you to help me. From the little information you've given, I don't understand why you want to text him. Can you hel, can you explain that to me? Why do you want to text him? what will that 'give' you? I'm genuinely confused.

Leelu6

DifferentCats - I've reported you for creating a sock puppet account so it looks like someone is backing up your nasty comments to AF.

I haven't created an account to act as a sock puppet, which MN will be well aware of. As per old MN tradition, I had a name change for Christmas (Pouncer is the name of a character in an old children's Christmas TV show). I forgot to swap to the right name while posting. I immediately said that the post was by me, which you will see if you look properly.

I'm glad that more support has been posted to the OP. I do think it was the right thing to do to tell the OP that it is not acceptable for people to call her names or insult her. She doesn't deserve it. She doesn't owe anything to anyone in respect to her behaviour, and how it makes her feel, except herself. She's obviously upsetting herself and finding it hard to stop. I challenge anyone to say that they have never acted not in their best interests over a man. The way to avoid it is with confidence and that doesn't come from being slagged off on the internet.

Hmm - I looked 'properly'

You posted 'that's me also'

I am quite happy to accept now that that means 'that poster is me as well'

But, reading it as it happened' it looked like 'that's my view too'

.
For what it's worth, 'if you look properly' is fucking rude as it implies some laxity in the reader when actually you caused the issue by posting under two names on one thread .
Lif you can't cope with your own name change that's understandable but perhaps be apologetic about that rather than pissy with the subsequent posters who quite inderstandably didn't know you were being comedic and seasonally duplicitous rather than just a sockie.

FWIW I'd a million times rather be told to sort myself out by AF than to find myself walking to a disrespectful man's house for joyless sex and if ever I'm in a position of walking that walk I will come on here and ask - no, DEMAND - that she gives me a bollocking so that I see sense and turn around.

I used to regularly text a man who started to play games and treat me badly. He always asked when he is going to see me. I used to string it out and then say "oops I have to cancel", or "sorry I am so busy" I'm bored with it now so I might not bother next year he never got the message, never understood why I started to pull away, I was always just under his nose but out of his reach. I tell you this because, if you run to him it won't change, if you think you can change the rules of the game, think again, you can't. It is what it is, whatever you do. Its his game, you can tweak the rules but all the time you play, he is still playing to win. You loose. Get out of it and find someone who deserves you.

Sensible friends in RL would tell you the same kind of thing, to put a stop to it because it's bad for you: this is not going to turn into true lurve or even a fun thing. No point in it.

We've all been there that's why we're all.on here getting heated about it
New year ...New start :-).

Oooh, not heard of a 'sock puppet account' before. What is that about? I have just got that hang of spotting trolls and understanding what Clipetty Clop means. There is always something new on mumsnet

Caprinihahahaha - You are right. It was unnecessarily sharp. In hindsight, it did not need to be said.

Though, I love the term seasonally duplicitous. Wish that had been my Christmas name!

I will use that meself I think. Although I've just come up with suckmydick on another thread so choices, choices ..

LuluJakey1 - A sock puppet is when you create another account so that you can bring in another voice to your argument. So you have DifferentCats(2) come in and say, 'I totally agree with you, dude,' and thereby validate your argument.

Suckmydick doesn't have quite the same festive feel, but it's definitely more punchy.

Just a quick update.He texted me 'Happy New Year' and i didn't text back. I'm quite pleased with myself about that.

Well done.

Great first step. Now, if you really want to get yourself out of this… you'd block his number so he can't text you again, and then you can start the (slowish) process of freeing your thoughts of him… Happy New Year.. look after yourself in 2016.

It's a start. But you still haven't blocked him, thus keeping your options open.

Suspect we are wasting our breath but I'll say it as well: Now block him so there is no chance of him contacting you or you him.

And delete his number.

And his email.

Great work, OP

That's two whole days now. You can make it three if you get through today. Won't it be great to snub him back?

Won't it be great to snub him back?

stop playing games - block him and focus on yourself.

Don't have a go at her for suggestions other people have made that she hasn't even indicated support of