Really trying hard not to..

[suchstuffasbaddreamsaremadeof]

Text a man who has repeatedly just shown he has no respect for me, just wants me for sex and doesn't really treat me even as a friend. I have had NC with him for five days and i just want to text him really badly. Can anyone help?

I'm sorry to hear that you have trouble keeping your patience.

Newsflash: People will feel more confident when you aren't trampling on their self esteem. People tend to make poor life choices when they feel bad about themselves, so insulting them probably won't achieve the result you seek.

You really have gone too far this time. Not cool.

Yeah, you said that the last time you thought I "went too far" DC.

I don't care if you insult me. But I'm not watching you pick on other people in a vulnerable position and call yourself a hero.

Frankly, if you can justify insulting women, you are no better than the people you are misguidedly trying to protect them from.

That's me also!

Name change fail ?

I don't name change to have a go at you. It's my Christmas name. I'm always DifferentCats.

And no, I don't stalk you. We're both regulars. But I will call out anything like this I see. Just meanness.

Op, being single at this time of year feels crap, we've all been there at some stage. If you get in touch with him now you are just dragging out how long you will feel crap for.

I don't see AF did anything wrong there . It is utterly exasperating. He treats you like cheap, crap. He hasn't bothered to contact you. Is only using you for sex -and you know that... Why on earth are you even considering contacting him?! Unless he's absolutely incredible in bed and you quite like being used as a sex object then I'd say, sod texting...phone him!

Better still, stand naked on his doorstep.

Red DC has a bit of a thing about me.

Oh golly, that did look like a sock puppet fail.
[boggles]

Anyway. Suchstuff

Try not to think of it as should I text or not. It's too black and white and sets you up to fail. If you resist for 10 days and then text you will just feel useless.
Try to think 'I'm not going to text today but instead I'm going to clean the house/go out and meet a friend/go to the cinema/do whatever.' Then do the same tomorrow.
Try and think of something you will do each day instead. Preferably something emotional healthy.

Just stopping anything is hard. Creating a new behaviour instead is better.

Red DC has a bit of a thing about me. wink

Look at your own behaviour before you criticise others. If you can.

I'm currently trying to go NC with a man who treats me similarly.
The thing that stops me texting him is knowing how he can make me feel so badly about myself and knowing that he doesn't want me or he would text me first. I'm trying to scrape my dignity together and walk away.
In the past when I would text him first he either wouldn't reply or he wouldn't but it would be clear the conversation would revolve around him and his needs, someone on here said to me that if I can get this man out of my life then it opens up room for the man who will treat me right. I believe that.
It's so difficult but you need to remember you're doing the right thing for you, I had to stop making excuses for him (such as what if he's deleted my number) and accept that be just doesn't want to talk to me. If he did he would text me.
It's such a hard thing to do and it hurts, but you've done so well getting to 5 days.
I hope this helps, I'm by no means perfect but I do understand exactly where you are right now.
I hope you stayed strong, but if you didn't just remember you can always start again today.

Are there men out there that suffer this (contacting a woman who they know will use and reject them )

I'd be interested to know

I feel like shit. I feel like I've let everyone down on here who gave me advice and I've let myself down as well. I texted him and he texted back and i went to his. And all i could think of when i was walking to his was Anyfucker calling me pathetic and i thought yes, i truly am a pathetic piece of shit. Anyway, thank you for the kind words and advice, sorry i didn't follow it! As Cherrycrystal has advised I'm going to try again starting from today.

If thinking of me stops you from doing it again, bring it on.

It seems like nothing else is working, after all.

Think of me as the Big Bad Wolf if you like but remember this: nobody has a gun to your head. You can stop this if you wanted to enough. The only person fucking you up now is yourself

Good luck

Well done, Anyfucker You have truly saved the day

OP, please please do not listen to nasty crap like this. It's OK that you weren't brave enough yesterday. You ARE NOT pathetic. You are not the first person to do something like this and you won't be the last. You need to start feeling better about yourself so that you feel like you can do without this loser.

I know it is so much easier to listen to criticism, but you DO NOT deserve to hear it. You are a good person and you are capable of being strong. One or two, or a hundred, set backs doesn't take away your potential for strength. You can do it.

OP you are not pathetic. Amazing sex can be a big pull especially so if you have feelings for the bloke too.

You have to ask yourself it it makes you happy. Ain't sounding that way as you would not be posting on here.

You can have great sex now and then with this bloke and have a good life for you. Seeing your friends, hobbies and generally enjoying yourself.

I expect it is more like shag this bloke and then pine for him and upset yourself it is not more than sex and you want to see him more often.

So is the shagging worth all the other shit that goes with it. If not then change the rest of your life and you will feel better about yourself and more confident. It's amazing how much difference confidence can have on your life.

Name change fail.

New year, new start. You're not a failure. Onwards and upwards!

Shut up, DC. You do it your way, I'll do it mine. Your constant picking on my posts does nothing to support anyone.

Like I said, you are welcome to pick on me. Your opinion doesn't matter to me. But what you are doing is bullying.

You need to be called up on it. You DON'T call other people pathetic because you can't keep your own petty busybody frustrations to yourself.

I am reporting you for goading, DC. You keep resurrecting an argument for no reason at all. You've said your piece.

Goading? Because I didn't shut up when you told me to?

I'm sorry you can't bully me too. It must be difficult for you to accept.

DC - you're completely derailing the OPs thread now with your own agenda. Not very supportive, eh?