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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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I think I'm in shock. Has this really just happened?

259 replies

Isthisreallyhappeningtome · 29/12/2015 20:39

I've had a horrible year. A horrible horrible year. I escaped a violent relationship, was made homeless with a baby, tried to commit suicide and lost a family member on Xmas day.
Tonight my friends decided to club together and take me out for a night in a town we used to go to befire we all had children. My best friends his bad very kindly has taken my DD overnight. Please bare with me I'm rambling but I'm in shock.
I had a few drinks at a new bar and we decided to go to an old bar where I used to work. I was standing there when my friend who is the bar man places a drink in front of me. A gin and lemonade with a dash of grenadine. There is only one person in the world who knows I used to drink that and I just go numb. My friends says it's from that gentlemen across the bar and sure enough there stands my estranged husband who I haven't seen in 5 years.
He was shot a year after we got married and suffered terrible PTSD and it broke down our marriage. He left to go and sort himself out and I decided to try and move on. I never stopped thinking about him, never stopped loving him and now he's here, asleep next to me. I just can't believe this is happening and genuinely think I'm going to wake up in the morning and it was all a dream. I don't even know why I'm posting here I just needed to speak to somebody or someone to tell me that this is real!

OP posts:
InTheBox · 31/12/2015 16:28

Why didn't he just get in touch with you himself? You are after all his wife.

CakeMountain · 31/12/2015 17:08

^^ wss.

Floggingmolly · 31/12/2015 17:12

Your friend initially told him to fuck off when he approached her, but he persisted so she gave in? Why aren't you creeped out by all those machinations behind your back, where everyone around you conspired to make some very personal decisions on your behalf Hmm
He not taking no for an answer; your friends deciding what was best for you without even consulting you...
You're just a puppet being manipulated by the lot of them, really.
Glad you're happy. I wouldn't be.

Isthisreallyhappeningtome · 31/12/2015 17:48

Thanks everyone for the support and advice, sorry I haven't been back but it's been very manic! The shock is starting to wear off now. He's definitely not manipulative, he's a wonderful man. The only reason we split was because of the PTSD there was never anything else about him that was bad. He was a wonderful husband and I know he will continue to be. I married him young, I've explored a bit of the world since we've been apart but I know he is definitely what I want. He's fine with me having a baby, and will work on introducing them next year sometime.
I know this all sounds surreal, it definitely feels it! But after the year I've had I think I deserve a bit of happiness.

OP posts:
HairySubject · 31/12/2015 18:05

I would be creeped out too. Why didn't he just contact you directly.

GarlicCake · 31/12/2015 18:37

It is an important question, Is - all this plotting behind your back, just so he can do the Mystery Stranger Sends Appropriate Drink act? He's your husband, he could have just phoned you.

Have a GREAT New Year, and enjoy the flushed feeling! But do keep some of yourself to yourself, please. Come back and think about this a bit more logically after the festivities :)

tootiredforthissh1t · 31/12/2015 18:50

Well I must say I'm surprisingly quite taken by the romanticism of it all. Tread carefully and good luck

Goingtobeawesome · 31/12/2015 19:18

Next year is tomorrow.

Be careful.

AlwaysBeYourself · 31/12/2015 21:53

Good luck and enjoy. You sound lovely and you deserve your happiness so go for it. You only live once.

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