DRY 10!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Welcome! This is the thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol. We are all at different stages of our journey, and many of us have some hiccups along the way, but we are committed to an exciting, fulfilling, joyful life alcohol-free.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2485290-DRY-9?pg=1

Everyone is welcome!

am here! drinking tea and running a bubble bath. Off to beautify myself. I may be a while......

You could have a drink at weekend glad but you didn't cos it'll make you feel down, sick and have a rotten sleep. Then you'll wake up and all the family crap is still there with a hangover thrown in and a big dose of irritability. Keep reminding yourself of this. You did great choosing not to.

Yep. Day 55 here and I am not spoiling it just because I have had a crap few weeks.
keep on keeping on, Sober Warriors

Hi all I'm still here too, mainly lurking and reading your comments. Day 42 for me. I've tried AJ based on your recommendations - go out like a light when he starts with the Noooww bit. Pretty weird I have to say But will keep on with it and maybe try his diet one too. Thanks all for keeping me on track.

I'm here too! Had lovely week-end away with friends - good food, good company, lots of laughter and a Seedlip tasting . We decided to go to the local pub for dinner as the weather was so awful and didn't want to walk further. Becks Blue all round and then back to where we were staying for chocolates & herbal teas

I'm here too. I've slept like a log the last couple of nights, falling asleep with AJ Nooooow. However, knackered does not describe how tired I feel and I've felt like this all weekend. I'm exhausted to be honest.
Absolute yes listening to AJ, I understand what you mean, it is a bit weird. Good weird though, I think
Yellow and Lucy I'm glad you both enjoyed your weekends away xx

The sun is shining here! It has stopped raining! Off to talk to hens and catch some rays

Could I possibly ask you lovely ladies for some advice?
Not my drinking (been pregnant and bfing for the last year and a bit so pretty much tt just now) but advice re. My brother?

We both live abroad, in different countries. I know he has a drink problem because he's told me so. He works in hospitality so he works at night and next to booze and it seems he's developed a real problem.
His lovely, lovely gf has just walked out on him because of it. I feel so sorry for him but I honestly don't blame her - she's given him several chances and he's not saught help.

I know the three Cs, I know he had to want to and I know i can't make him.. But is there anything I can do? I've been listening to him (he's v depressed no doubt exacerbated by drink) and trying to encourage him to aa and his doc.

I'm really worried about him. Have any of you had support from family or friends that triggered or helped you into getting help?

I feel like I'm watching him drown, it's awful... I'm in two minds over asking him to come stay with us. We can clear the house of booze and we are in a rural area in sweden so a. Only one shop sells alcohol and b. It's bloody miles away. But then I know he can be sneaky and I have a tiny baby in the house..,

Advice from you lovely people is gratefully received

unhappy I'm no expert but I think the best thing you can do is look after yourself.
I mean really look after yourself. Get yourself some support I believe al-anon are the specialists for family but there may be other organisations that I am not aware of.
Let him know about your offer to stay if he decides the time is ready.
My friend died in November. We sent her to rehab gave her all the support we could but she didn't feel she could stop drinking.
You said it yourself he has to want to. But it sounds like you have a good relationship and if you can have a dialogue about what he fears about sobriety then you have a good start.
Is he open to being pointed in the direction of help?
To be honest, even though you know alcohol is ruining your life its such a scary thought to be (or imagine life) without it.
I tried AA a few times but I just didn't get it.. how could life be more enjoyable without alcohol? I didn't get it at all. It took me another 3 years to realise it was true. Life is better without alcohol.
I'm sorry I'm not being more helpful. I guess I am trying to explain why he isn't choosing the obvious path.
The thing is I don't know why I did click this time around. I hope another more knowledgeable poster might be able to help you a bit more.

He says he will go to the docs but then never does. I'm hoping that his gf walking out will be the kick he needs but I'm not sure it will be somehow. He's always drifted and taken the path of least resistance.
He's done a couple of really awful things over the last couple of years which looking back I'm sure are linked (staggeringly inconsiderate rather than criminal.)
I know I can't help, but I want to help..it also puts me in a bad position with the rest of the family. They are a bit less open to talking so he's kept it secret from them. When he did the awful thing a few years back (which I won't elaborate on bc it'll out me) he told me and j had to tell him that he had a week to tell the family or I would...

Unhappyexpat As frustrating and worrying as it is he has to want this for himself and if he is saying to you he'll go to the docs and then he doesn't - that suggests he's not ready to acknowledge or do anything about it so far. As someone who volunteers at a drug and alcohol treatment centre I know with the clients there this is the crucial first step. If he came to stay and you had no booze you also need to consider that he may be physically addicted and stopping abruptly could be medically dangerous for him. You could try to stage an intervention but these don't always work because the person has to want it for themselves. If you have expressed your concern and he knows he can talk to you then that is all you can do for now. As dona said support for yourself via Al-anon (and also your family should they become more aware over time) is also important. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful

Having written that I then read this. No more sally is a US based sober blogging friend whose family have taken a different view and approach. Lovely how the universe sends us these things at just the right time :)

Thanks Lucy. I know you're right.,, it's difficult. He's my baby brother :(
I think an intervention wouldn't be right with our family dynamic.
I think he's not quite at the stage he'd have seizures (hopefully, but who knows...)
Gods I need to tell him that in case he tries cold turkey... :(

Unhappyexpat I have no new words to help you with as I think Lucy and dona have covered anything ( and more! ) which I would have said.

But, I do understand a bit what you are experiencing. Without saying too much I am in the same situation - I have a family member who has done some things (not to me), which I hate. BUT he has all sorts of complex P and MH issues and is not judged competent to deal with the shit he has caused himself. So I am helping him, as best I can, with the stuff I CAN help him with. There is no one else to help him - he is being let down by "community care" but that is not why I am doing it. I love him, regardless of how much I dislike what he has done. And that is all I think we can do. Your DB cannot be made to stop drinking. All you can do is offer what support you feel able to give. but yes - you have to take care of you before anyone else.

Please pm me if you want to chat some more

Today I've bought Eisberg Cabernet Sauvignon AF free wine from Morrisons. £3 a bottle. I've had a little taste and it's alright actually and better than I thought it would be. Low in sugar too.
Thanks Yellow and anyone else who recommended it. Think it might just be a saviour at weekend.
Still going to use my Nutibullet daily but more for green health juices

The red is nice as well

Hi Glad, yes it is the Red......it's only ever been Red for me

Sorry I mis read and thought it was the Chardonnay you bought! That is nice as well . Only decent AF wines in my opinion are the Torres and the Eisberg

Glad where can I buy Torres?? X

Watrose sells the AF Torres :) Really nice the red is. White is ok. Rose is really good for summer evening outside drinking :)
Sains sell an AF sparkling wine which is really good is you need a fizz fix :)

Asda sometimes sell Torres at a much reduced price but only occasionally

Best Red? Torres or Eisberg.
Best White Eisberg
Best Rose Torres
best fizz is Sainsbury AF stuff

Fre is nice, but v carby!
Sains Red AF is also nice but also v carby

(I low carb so avoid it )

I would love to host a AF tasting night for all of you :) Wish we could meet up

I liked the look of the Eisberg as its low sugar and low carb.....otherwise I wouldn't have bought it. And it was £3, so not bad price wise.
So, as long as it does the trick that's all that matters.

I pass a Waitrose on my way to and from work so I'll give the Torres a go next I think.

Thanks Glad