DRY 10!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Welcome! This is the thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol. We are all at different stages of our journey, and many of us have some hiccups along the way, but we are committed to an exciting, fulfilling, joyful life alcohol-free.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2485290-DRY-9?pg=1

Everyone is welcome!

Like the others I have been upfront with everyone although not in a big "I've got an announcement to make" way. I really didn't want to be in a situation where I could change my mind when out and be able to start drinking without it being something that would be noticed. People don't tend to ask endless questions and I've settled on just saying something like "the cons had started to outweigh the pros", or "I was feeling stuck in my life and thought I'd see how I felt if I stopped drinking and life is so much better so I'm carrying on".

Re. Sarah Hepola, that's definitely on my list.

Sorry misscookie I missed your questions. No I don't go to AA although I've been to a couple of meetings and if I'm honest, would like to go to more... I just haven't got round to it. I didn't particularly gel at the meetings I went to and need to try more.

I can't explain the way in which I didn't think I had a problem. I just thought I liked to let my hair down and was a bit of a hedonist. About 3 months before I stopped, an old drinking/partying buddy of mine (who is about 8 years sober) suggested to me on the phone that maybe we should go to a meeting together. I was polite to her but was inwardly seething - what on earth was she suggesting by that?? But at around that time I just had a few little realisations and things started adding up for me. I realised that I had started to dread nights out where I knew there'd be loads of drinking, and that that wasn't normal.

I had said to a friend that I didn't want to go to a night out with parents from my DC's nursery because I didn't want to get drunk. She had - very rationally - just said "why don't you just go and not drink then?" and it dawned on me that that wasn't really an option for me, and that that wasn't normal. I also realised that I found it stressful when the same friend suggested we meet up and share a bottle of wine, because in truth I hated doing that because one bottle between two wasn't enough and she was never up for having more than that. It was small things like that that eventually ticked over into me thinking that I wanted to stop, even though as I say my horror stories were mostly from a few years back.

Evening all :) and hello to all the lovely new people :)

5th AA meeting in a week for me today and today I did a share (gulp) I actually said the words "my name is glad and I am an alcoholic" which made me tear up a bit (but in a good way iykwim) I didn't talk for long - it was in response to something someone else had said. But it felt good to share and everyone was so lovely.

I have found the last week (since I added going to AA to all the other things I have been doing for the last 18 months) really different. That and listening to the Andrew Johnson app every single morning on waking (short version) and every single evening in bed before sleep (longer version). Oh and going to the gym every morning for the last week (except Sunday.)

I have not felt this well, either emotionally, mentally or physically, for many many years. Early days and all that but still, I do feel SO much happier. ODAAT though :)

Off to eat beef casserole and drink a glass of AF Torres Red ( now without the added Glycerol!!)

Just checking in - let myself down over weekend and had a few glasses of wine. It wasn't worth it as I felt bloated, spotty and dehydrated on Monday morning.

I must admit, I would love a glass bottle of wine now, but I have nothing in so there is no temptation.

It is hard, but I woke up today feeling so much better for a proper sleep. Over the weekend, I had horrible nightmares - it's amazing how booze messes up sleep.

I have found the technique of imagine the pleasure / relief of that wine and then fast forwarding the "film" through to the inevitable remorse, depression and anxiety of the following morning.

Evening glad and all!
Glad you sound in such a happy place I would say I'm jealous but I was just sitting here and realised that its got to 7pm and I haven't given alcohol a thought until now. My thought was 'ooh I don't need to do that anymore' and its a happy thought.
I'm going to have a bath because I actually need one and like you I feel fanfuckingtastic!
So if you are new or early into sobriety (and I am fairly new and newly sober) this feeling is yours for the taking.
I struggled in the beginning I found it tough.
I was at least a bottle of wine per night drinker. A few vodkas on top maybe
I did this for years x 1000
I know I am being a bit of a Pollyanna but I just wanted to offer encouragement. Because its hard but its doable and the most rewarding thing I have ever done.

orange I play the film forward whenever I feel tempted. It does work.
don't beat yourself up about the weekend. We've all done it and it reinforces why we don't really want to anymore!

dona thanks :) yes I do feel pretty good. Despite DD (teen) being truly vile to me tonight. I kept my cool and was calm. Now drinking a glass of AF Fre red wine having an AF wine tasting :)

orange be kind to yourself. Start again and keep posting

Great news glad :) Really pleased for you
Waves to all & orange onwards!

Thanks for all messages :)

Teapot - your post really struck a chord with me.

I get anxious about social events involving booze because I get trashed if the booze is flowing. If there isn't enough booze then that also stresses me.

I an trying to take it ODAAT. I am trying not to worry about tomorrow night (at home, booze free) and the following evening where I am attending a music recital in a cafe that sells booze. I know I can do it, but it's tough.

AA is beginning to sound like an option.

I have beaten the witch tonight - cravings gone :)

Every day feels like a new life to me I am sober.

Well done Orange; another day down. Take each day as it comes and plan/prepare as much as you can. What's your plan for tomorrow evening, or if there's no booze in at the moment is it a foregone conclusion that you won't be tempted or able to get some? Re. the cafe - if you really do have to go I'd have a good look into what AF drinks are available there and plan in advance what you'll have. I always like to know that I can make an early exit if I need to as well.

There are some good Bubble Hour episodes about what to put in a sober 'toolkit'... (I know I'm always blathering on about Bubble Hour but I find it so helpful).

I'm in bed already and was just faffing around in my room in my pyjamas, having put the cats away and turned all the lights off downstairs. I sighed and felt real contentment at what is on the surface an embarrassingly empty and non-eventful evening and actually said out loud, "I love being able to do this". I do feel as though I'm finally allowing myself to do what I probably needed to do all along, which is to be a bit more introverted than I ever pretended I really was.

My OH just said to me if there was anything I could have changed about you it was your drinking.... and I didn't even say a word you did it all by yourself.
Sobering eh? I'm really pleased he's proud but I do wonder when he would have reached his limit. It really does destroy lives doesn't it?
Phew. I guess it really was my time to stop.

That's great dona... very thought provoking when it happens that way round.

Hi Teapot - there will be no wine in the house tomorrow.

Re cafe - I think I will make a quick exit if people start drinking. There are, luckily, plenty of AF options.

I'm also in bed and feeling that wonderful sense of peace that I can honestly say feels better than any drink.

Certainly does. Night night, sober-meisters

Night all :)

Hi orange i did think about u over the weekend, with us both joining this thread and starting out at the same time. I also fell off the wagon on Friday night, but it just served to reinforce how terrifying hangovers are, ugh. Well at least we are pointing in the right direction now eh orange and yes fast forwarding the tape is a good one.

Taking people's advice on here about finding stuff to do to fill the gaps where we would normally be arse planted guzzling wine... i only went to a yoga class after work today. I loved it, i just had to post! It was like stepping into the calm zone... candles, incense, that music that gives u goose bumps, and it was mainly lying down which was quite nice 😉

Hugs to all you lovelies x

Thanks Jelly - I agree, hangovers are just awful on so many levels.

Friday night is a difficult night for problem drinkers.

Distraction is so helpful and yoga is wonderful.

Morning all. I had a drinking dream last night... bleugh. They always leave me feeling a bit discombobulated.

Morning all. Just as a curiosity I'm wondering how many of us are giving sobriety a go purely because they can't take hangovers any more?
For me it wasn't the money, the pickling of the liver or the lucky escapes. All the good reasons!
Its just my morning ponder whatever your reason is keep going!

Morning all!

I've just found bubblehour! Wow wee it's great! Thankyou Teapotdictator. I'm listening to the one about boundaries, which is particularly pertinent for me sadly.

Gladistopped, that's fantastic about AA. It's such a great and yet v strange organisation! I went to a different group last night and I think I'll try and do that regularly as I was surprised by how different a feel it had. The stories are amazing and I always come out thinking that the world is a better place somehow.

Ive been trying to make positive changes and have thrown out bags and bags of stuff - old clothes, books, shoes, anything I haven't used in 12 months or isn't useful or beautiful. my place for drinking was by the fire in the little back room. I'd tell myself I was there to read but I'd end up just putting the telly on and drinking till I fell asleep. Instead I've cleared a space in our bedroom with a big armchair and table and lamp. It looks really cosy and I've moved the bookcase so it's now a separate bit of our bedroom. And that's where I'll read tonight. I too have a nice sense of peace. I wrote in my diary last night "I feel like I can breathe out properly."

Best wishes to all of you! X X X

Donajimena yes the hangovers were a big part. Anxiety and depression were a huge factor too. They're lifting, in sobriety and with the help of ADs too.

Oh my goodness...is this true? Whilst engaging in a little Google (about hangovers funnily enough) I read a comment that says there are no nerve endings in your liver so you have no warning of its shape?

I'm not going to Google any further on that. Bloody hell!

Glad you like them Marry - I get a lot out of listening and put one on most evenings as I drift off to sleep.

dona the hangovers were a large part for me, but not everything. There is something fundamentally depressing about knowing that you're not entirely in control of a certain thing in your life, and feeling as though other people are okay with it while you're not. I am starting to feel pride in myself which to a large degree has been lacking my whole adult life. The compound effect of almost never being ashamed of my actions, regretting things I've said or done is really starting to take effect and I'm starting to finally realise what is meant when people talk about loving yourself. It always felt like such an elusive and alien concept.

Im with you on the pride thing. I've never felt it either and on paper I don't have anything really to feel proud about. I'm certainly not where I thought I would be when I read those fairy tales...
but I can control to a certain extent my future.
My OH whilst proud of me doesn't know really how much of a problem I had (at the time of my last break up I was drinking at 430pm ugh!) I havent told him I am never drinking again and I haven't even told myself that. Playing the tape forward stops me from drinking today.
Anyway the point was as I haven't told him there was a suggestion of 'sharing a bottle of wine' at the weekend which I have dismissed as a ridiculous idea as half wouldn't be nearly enough for me and I have a commitment to my liver and an unmissable class at 9am Saturday morning.
He's been absolutely amazing.
I hope everyone else is doing well too.
marry your room sounds really cosy and you have almost inspired me to get up off my fat arse and cosy up my environment.
I am absolutely loving this and I am fully aware that I am turning into a waffling Pollyanna...