porn, sex and relationships

[mypetdragon]

Starting my own thread as I didn't want to hijack the other one and would like another perspective please.

I have been with my BF for about 14 months and we have a very loving and happy relationship. We are both in our late 40s and separated/divorced respectively.

My only concern about our relationship is his use of porn and addiction to sex. I'm fairly open minded (happy to talk about everything and will try anything once) but I feel that his use of porn has tainted his idea of what constitutes normal sex. He is unable to ejaculate through intercourse and claims this is due to excessive masturbation. He watches porn almost daily and sees no reason to stop doing this. It has been suggested that he seeks help for his porn addiction to which his reply was 'why should I?'. Certain things that he finds 'normal' are new to me - for example he gets really turned on by me 'gagging' whilst giving a BJ. Am I being naive? If he suggests something I am uncomfortable with I will tell him and he is respectful of this, although he will then follow this up jokingly with 'you'll come round to it eventually'.

Sex is frequent and energetic, for example, when we see each other he literally wants sex the moment I arrive at his house/he arrives at my house. On average we will have sex 3 times in 24 hours, each session lasting about an hour. I thought I had a fairly high sex drive but struggle to match his libido.

I suppose my question is, how normal is this? Am I being naive in thinking this is not normal or am I being naive in thinking that we have a loving relationship with a very healthy sex life?

As a subnote, we message and speak on the phone daily and when we're not shagging we have shared interests and lovely friends although he admits to preferring to spend his time with me rather than socialising.

Thanks for reading.

Hi there, NC for this. I married a porn addict, it has totally destroyed our relationship.

I loved him so much i thought we could survive anything but after 8 years I am now working out how to leave with 2 small DCs. I still love the man but i cannot trust the addict.

He wouldn't address it, still won't as far as I know, despite getting deeper and deeper into it, same issue with orgasms, my self esteem took a battering. Found emails to escorts, then discovered, when DC2/was just a few weeks old that he had also branched out into online gambling. The last couple of years have been awful and yet I feel like such a shit for breaking up my family.

It can snowball fast. Be careful!

I feel like such a shit for breaking up my family
I see this a lot on various posts, the innocent party feeling the guilt.
he has broken the family tech, not you, you've held it together.

Thank you See! In my head I know that but it still breaks my heart. He doesn't want the split, needless to say. At the moment we are co habiting and it's all amicable and I find myself thinking what am I doing? Then I remember the pain and hurt he caused, at a time when I was so vulnerable (newborn plus toddler, maternity leave so no income). I know if I take him back again I am telling him I will tolerate that behaviour, when I can't.

Your original question was something like am I naive?
Not sure what you meant.
Is this normal behaviour? Probably normal for a porn addict not normal for others no.
It's good he's talking about it with you.
No amount of talking about it would make it attractive to me, but if it works for you...