Need to apologise for something I didn't do- how does this sound?

[Hardlyaxmasangel]

Been seeing a guy for around 5 months, crazy about him and got the impression he was just as keen on me.... He said so!

He has a lot going on in his life at the moment and Last week something happened which he is blaming me for! I had no involvement in it in any way but he thinks it's something to do with me or anemone I know who done it and I was involved..... I wasn't

He has basically cut me off and is blaming me, I'm so hurt and upset he knows me and knows I'm not nasty and how much I liked him, I would have nothing to gain by doing anything to hurt him.

I feel like I should apologise for something I didn't do so wondered how this sounded?

I'm not sure what to do except apologise, I promise you I was in no way involved. You know I'm not a nasty person and would never do anything to hurt you. I'm sorry xx

I don't want to write to much, I want him to read it, and being mad he may not, but is that enough to sound sincere ?

I think we need to know what the situation is and what you were supposed to have been involved in

Don't grovel

Definitely Snowy's approach. This guy ain't a keeper.

I can't fathom what sort of chain of events you are speaking about but the fact that your first reaction was to countenance even apologising means that you're not seeing the wood for the trees.

As snowy has pointed out this creates a precedent and if you carry on making excuses when he gets the hump in the future then you're setting yourself up for a lot of misery.

It has been only 5 months and he's already got your head in a spin. Get out while you can. It's oft repeated around these parts: "When someone tells you who they are, listen to them"

No, no, no. Don't apologise. As everyone said this is a huge red flag.

I was with someone and a similar thing happened about 4 months into the relationship. I apologised (although in actual fact I'd done nothing wrong). Turned out he was EA and it got worse (I stayed for a further 8 months 😳.) It also turned out that I was actually the OW and he was still with his partner of 15 years and he manufactured reasons as to why our relationship couldn't progress (ie some imagined misdemeanour on my part).

Run for the hills & don't waste any more time on him.

Your last message is still too grovelling. And too many exclamation marks, take them out.

Agree. Last message is too grovelling.

"I'm surprised and disappointed you would think I would do this and make me out to be a liar for denying having any involvement at all. If there is no trust then there is nothing and we should go our separate ways. I wish you well all the same"

How about "How dare you disrespect me by blaming me for what happened. It appears that in 5 months together you have made no attempt to actually get to know me and understand what I am and am not like. Have a nice life"

?

No, don't do it. He is showing you exactly who he is by treating you like this. Please don't ignore it. He will do it again and again. He is controlling and emotionally abusive. You do not want or need this man in your life.

The only text to send is the ne where you take control and say :

'I am so glad this has happened. You have now shown me the person you really are and I have no desire to be with someone who could believe that of me and treat me so shabbily. Please do not contact me ever again.'

And mean it.

OP I may be off base here, and you don't have to answer in thread, but you seem to feel it's up to you to take responsibility for this man's feelings and problems, even when they are nothing to do with you.

Is there a history of alcoholism or other addiction in your family, or erratic behaviour from parents where you were blamed for "spoiling everything"?

Your last post is still to !!!!! And needy.

You haven't hurt him. You haven't made him sad. You haven't done him wrong.

He's hurt you. He's made you sad. He's mepade you feel you've done something wrong.

Still think he's Prince Charming?

Anyone else think it's already been sent?

Yep

If you absolutely must text him then send the message suggested by SnowyBumbles

No haven't sent anything, I'm at work now, just on my break!

Both drafts have been scraped, so glad I posted here, my whole attitude had changed to the situation!

Want him to know I'm proper dissapointed in him and he is not the person I though he was! We work at same place not directly together but will see him in passing

I'm not going to apologise for something I didn't do and I'm not going to take the blame. You know I'm not a spiteful, vindictive person!

Your behavior towards me this week is fucking awful and it actually says more about you than it does me! You clearly are not half the man I thought you were.

I tried my best to help you when you clearly didn't actually give a fuck about me.

That's better!

Yes, certainly better, but leave out the exclamation marks. Somehow it looks more dignified without.

Brilliant! And when tipsy over the festive season, hide your phone or sit in your hands and don't text! You'll be glad the next day.

Way better.
Agree about the !.

And would add something to clearly end the relationship at the end.

Much better, except the last sentence - that's you asking him to contradict you & keeping dialogue going. Just tell him what you think of him, and close it there.

Much better.

Although, I'd have a think about the work situation. If you'll be seeing him at work, I'd not send anything. Then if he gets in touch, I'd say "you know, I just don't feel the same after you blaming me for X, I think it's best we just leave it here, we're not right together".

Some advice though OP - all your '!'. In my opinion, people use those when they want to say something but feel they have to stay lighthearted for fear of scaring the other off. Do not apologise for the things you need to say - say them without '!'.

Better, but lose the !

And at least one of the "clearly"s.