50 shades of grey

[jamesdeandaydream]

I've been talking to a guy on tinder for a few days now. Seems really nice, normal and hasn't mentioned sex once. Until now. Very tame and not in any kind of sleazy way. If anything, I was saying worse thinns! But towards the end of the conversation he said he was 'giving me a hint' and said he's 'a bit 50 shades of grey' and then he went!

Should I run for the hills before I've even met him?!

[violettahatesoperatta]

I never said it wasn't absolutely YOUR OWN responsibility to ensure that consent is happening at all times and in all places. That if you are the bottom you give consent and the Top hears it and respects it. How did you get that I thought otherwise from what I have written? [Boggling]

I am talking about the minimsation of risk. I wonder if we are cross purposes?

If I state 'I am kinky' and JUST that I am absolutely NOT imposing my sexuality on anybody else. I am making a personal statement that is incredibly likely to be relevant in the context of online dating. In fact maybe fundamental.

[Offred]

I am saying unless you know someone really really well (and not just sexually) I don't think you can be being responsible with consent for BDSM.

[violettahatesoperatta]

Yeah I would agree with that, totally.

And even then.. even in an established LTR it can still happen. I know, it happened to me but many years ago now.That was a combination of inexperience and a lack of communication on both our parts.

[futureme]

We're exploring bdsm d/s in our married relationship. I find the whole scene thing tricky. We know a few people but we can't risk being outed for work reasons at all. We also wish to stay monogamous which seems unusual. Wed love to learn more though. There's tons of people who use aspects of bdsm or are in d/s relationships and not part of the scene...

[futureme]

D/s even. My phones autocorrecting.