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Original poster

Just had a blazing row over fucking toilet roll

109 replies

Lastmanstanding · 10/12/2015 00:34

It's the second time he has called me names and this time I give it him back. Ve been with him five years - one dd. 98% of the time he is laid back jack but somtimes he can switch over somthing and completly change. I've never felt scared of him it's just the complete change in his persona that worries me, he is like a different bloke.

Tonight he went upstairs to use the toilet, he didn't take the loo roll up and as I walked past I chucked it up the stairs, he text me a few mins later to pass it him. I thought he was joking and said no. He said he'd had the runs and needed me to pass it him. I said it was by the door. This was all text.

He then bellowed xxxx pass me the toilet roll from upstairs you fucking knob his dad who was sitting near me looked shocked. Dp doesn't not speck to me like this. He then shouted to his dad who got up and went upstairs. His dad told him to be quiet or he will wake dd (which he did) and he shouted that he didn't fucking care.

He then stormed off to bed leaving me sat in the living room with his dad.

His dad went home quickly afterwards at which point inhadntbsaid a word back to dp in retaliation. I then went upstairs and said ' don't ever call me a name again other rise I will start calling you a fat cunt and see how you like it'

I don't know if this is a big deal it not, it feels like it is. The fact that he didn't care about waking out child while in this mood has really made me think he isn't the nice guy he makes out. At the moment we have having some issues that keep getting brushed aside as I feel he makes me feel irrelevant. As though I'm here because he wants dd near him

Am I blowing it out of proportion !

OP posts:
MNerAnon · 10/12/2015 09:35

Op. You said in your first post that he had the runs. You then said "He might have had s bad tummy" and now you're saying "exasperated he didn't go to the toilet in a hurry."

So which is it, he had the runs, or he wasn't in a hurry?

Threefishys · 10/12/2015 09:36

So the real issue here is - you think he is lazy and fat. First question, was he lazy when you met? In which case you knew what you were getting or has he become complacent because in your words you wait on him hand and foot? I know this feeling as I have created a monster in DD (13) who would probably be quite happy for me to wipe her bum let alone pass her toilet roll . Second question are you annoyed that he's left you twice and has now has the audacity to put weight on (become less attractive) are you annoyed with yourself for keeping hold of this 'catch' who is now not just lazy but overweight too? What's really going on OP because its not about toilet roll Grin

MNerAnon · 10/12/2015 09:38

He might have had s bad tummy he had gorged himself on three plates of curry and rice an hour earlier while I was still on my first.

I don't believe that. No one eats three plates of curry in the time that someone else is still eating their first. And even IF that were true, which I vey much doubt, there is no way that it would have caused his "bad tummy" as you called it. It wouldn't have left his stomach or small intestine yet, much less the large bowel and rectum!

dratsea · 10/12/2015 09:42

I hope he put it on the hanger the naice way round?

Else, LTB

Sorry, you are having problems so should not be frivolous but chill,

Hope you get sorted soon Xmas Wink

Just had a blazing row over fucking toilet roll
Original poster
Lastmanstanding · 10/12/2015 09:47

He didn't go to the toilet in a hurry. It was obviously when he was wanting me to pass him the loo roll he said he had the runs.

I'm not annoyed he left me in the past it was over and done with even though he was quiet cruel the second time and expected me and dd to start looking for some where else to live as its his house. He was very apologetic over that.

When I first met him him was awsome. He wasn't lazy at all. But since I've been a SAHM I've gradually seen a shift of his respect for me.

I've just been upstairs to get the iPad and it was switched on to private browsing mode. I've never noticed that before.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lastmanstanding · 10/12/2015 09:48

Mner believe what you like makes no difference to me

OP posts:
Threefishys · 10/12/2015 09:51

Ok then my mistake.....this is just about toilet roll everything else in the garden is rosy. Ace. Sorted. Happy Christmas one and all Xmas Grin

anonacfr · 10/12/2015 09:52

I'm surprised no-one has commented on the fact that he's using his phone while taking a shit.
Yuk.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 10/12/2015 09:53

I'm sorry, I don't get this at all. You threw the toilet paper blindly up the stairs yet knew miraculously where it fell? You didn't think that maybe he couldn't see it or it landed out of his reach? You refused to help him? And he apparently shits with the door open? When he's got the runs? But 'cause he's lazy and fat it's all justified. Is this a reverse?

I've also got IBS (irrelevant that he doesn't, the end result is the same), and I'd probably call you a knob too.

He called you a name twice in as many weeks and you want the internet to tell you he's a big bad meanie. The worse row my husband and I ever had was over me eating the last biscuit in the packet. He was furious and I thought he was being totally unreasonable. We didn't speak for 2 days. We got over it. That was 18 months ago. Sounds like you're looking for excuses to leave him, so just leave.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 10/12/2015 09:54

anon give over. What's wrong with that? Is this is MN thing?

Threefishys · 10/12/2015 09:56

anon you're having a laugh aren't you??

Threefishys · 10/12/2015 09:57

Tickled at anons repugnant response about using phone whilst 'taking a shit' Grin that's just brill

MNerAnon · 10/12/2015 09:59

So ... you think its possible to eat a curry and then get the shits because of it within an hour?

Oh dear.

Or you think the op saying he had the runs and then saying he didn't go to the toilet in a hurry doesn't ring any bells of incongruence with you?

MNerAnon · 10/12/2015 10:00

Ahhhh.... I get it! You're talking about anonacfr and using the phone in the toilet! Now it makes sense!

Suddenlyseymour · 10/12/2015 10:01

I think "waiting on him hand and foot" and "begging" him to return on the occasion that he left, really doesn't help this issue of lack of respect for you. You have behaved as if he is king of the castle and subjugated yourself to a servile role. The sort of man that respects women would absolutely not want this set up, would not want waiting on, would actively want equality in all areasof the relationship and do as much for you as you him. And what ribgs a bell here is "he doesn't want me in the office". What's that all about?

Threefishys · 10/12/2015 10:05

suddenly I was thinking the same - that ship's sailed

Suzy4321 · 10/12/2015 10:07

Personally I don't think u did anything wrong sounds like a complete over reaction on his behalf.

I would of chucked the toilet roll at him! And told him he is a grown man ! If you need to have a shit make sure there is toilet roll.

Your not vile!

ButtonMoon88 · 10/12/2015 10:08

I think you two just need some time together. Everyone can lose their rag every now and then, my hubby was guilty of it, and just before DD was born it got worse and worse until I told him he had to stop. He went to GP and was prescribed anti-depressants now he is back to his old self. I'm not saying that your DH may need medical help, but you definitely need to talk to each other, child free and just relax.

Original poster
Lastmanstanding · 10/12/2015 10:14

we have got so much planned this weekend I feel like cancelling it all. I'm really embarrassed about the way he spoke to me and his dad was here. He just then went and got in bed and left is sat down stairs looking at each other.

I know he doesn't respect me anymore I can tell when I'm trying hold a conversation with him he just isn't intrested. When Ive raised it in the past he got upset and said it wasn't true.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lastmanstanding · 10/12/2015 10:15

Why would he also be in private browsing ?

OP posts:
meditrina · 10/12/2015 10:16

"I genuinly thought he was joking."

But it sounds as if you were wrong. And people aren't perfect in the middle of having the shits.

It does however sound as if there is a growing communication problem between the two of you. But reversing it isn't going to be helped if neither of you will admit your part in what came about.

Original poster
Lastmanstanding · 10/12/2015 10:16

He also cleared the history in normal browsing

OP posts:
stitchglitched · 10/12/2015 10:21

He treats you like his skivvy, you have given up your job, its his house and you aren't married. Your situation is very precarious, in your shoes I would be making plans to go back to work so you have options the next time he throws a strop and wants both you and your child to move out.

Leelu6 · 10/12/2015 10:24

YANBU, OP. I initially thought you should have taken him the loo roll as he was desperate but it sounds like he was just being lazy.

He's got it made, what with you doing everything. That would drive me mad.

Our home didn't get mopped for a month recently because I refused to do it. All of DP's dishes stayed dirty.

I would give him an ultimatum. And mean it.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 10/12/2015 10:25

Mneranon I'm really surprised that you don't realise people can get upset stomach from food within an hour.

Not food poisoning. I can eat something like pizza, something creamy, spicy, infact bloody anything and my stomach starts cramping and I need to go to the toilet within fifteen minutes. It is possible and is a regular occurrence for me about four times a week!