Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

Hi babes,

Sorry ma can't help on the Santa thread xxx

Well it's the big countdown, as I pressies stashed all over the house, I don't even know what I've got exactly, just know my bank card is batterred and bruised!!!

Those of you who know me will know I've fairly recently been diagnosed as bipolar which is not as devastating as you might think, it makes sense so much sense to me, my inability to control my moods despite my every effort I would swing from exhausting enthusiasm running myself ragged or crippling anxiety and despair like something terrible was about happen and having horrendous nightmares of my parents dying and children being harmed. Then I would reach a point I couldn't stand it anymore so I would drink and drink and drink, at my worst losing a week of my life and staggering about my village filthy and pissed to get more. The only thing my family could do was look after my girls and wait til I "come back" from my hell.

Well it's been 9 weeks since an episode or a binge and I'm so relieved I could weep with relief... The only downside is that the mood stabiliser causes a change in the way the pancreas breaks down insulin causing mega hunger pangs and a very strong physical demand for sugar and I'm getting fatter and fatter around my midriff, it's horrible. I've been told by my GP they give this medication to anorexic and cancer patient to create an appetite and encourage sugar cravings to gain weight and as I'm already a few stones overweight this is not good for me. I've also read that even if I don't overeat I may still gain weight due to the metabolic changes the tablet causes. Thing is the majority of the weight is on my trunk (appropriately named) and my big blubbery belly is getting in my way, when I excercise it moves independently of the rest of my body, putting my long boots has become an acrobatic event, general self esteem is shit BUT and its an enormous BUT I'm sober and not crazy which is the game changer here.

I guess I'm just having a moan, I don't want to swap one addiction for another and I don't want to trip my stable mood by self loathing either. Many say that despite a controlled diet and regular excercise they have still gained up to 50 pounds on my dose which is scary.

I'm doing so much better, I've got my life back but I'm still very fragile and I'm hating the way I look right now, my body doesn't feel like my own and I'm spending my days trying not to eat whole people who smell of sweet perfume!!! (Kidding)

Anyhow, I know I'm lucky, I know I just need to try and fight the cravings, keep excercising and be thankful I'm not in the gutter, just the cake shop instead.

Thanks for listening babes xxx

Thanks faire. I got an email from MN saying there was a received button in the left hand corner of each page, but I don't see it.
I am about to get my baubles out and tune up my triangle
baby good to hear from you and that things seem more stable. I understand the weight gain thing. Since I went onto HRT I have gained a significant tyre round my middle - doesn't help that I don't get any exercise and keep stuffing my face!!!
I'm annoyed though, as I had lost quite a bit this year and now it's all back. Grrr

Three days till Christmas, hmm, better start thinking about buying some food. I popped into M&S yesterday and the food area was horrendous - but the pea blinis with smoked salmon were a lovely little treat

Hope the stress of Christmas is not too horrendous for all, and that excitement is all good.

mouse how are you recovering?

I'm going to get a bit of food shopping this afternoon venus but really don't need much as the shops seem to only be closed for one day, if that.

I can't imagine what all those people are buying just to see them through a couple of days

Finished work for the hols, thank God.
Pretty much ready for Christmas, just one last trip to supermarket - not for me, but to take mum and sis. Deep joy!
What are you all up to?
hope you OK?
indie?

Morning Babes

All ok here, still sober it's all still very 'real', 'raw' & emotional

DD1 is ok (up and down daily), DD2 being a bit of a mare. But they're both still communicating (I never really spoke to my Mum through my teenage years, unless I really had to)

Ma your DDs are gorgeous, you must be very proud. I hope you've kicked that infection.

Fox so so good to see you babe. I hope you're surviving the Xmas preps Big love darling

Sweet you ok honey?

April little squeeze love, how's it going?

Marfisa Hope all ok and you're getting some of your writing done x

Joey did you manage to get back to a meeting? hope you're ok x

Hope have you stopped for Xmas now? hugs honey

Baby I love your posts. Just keep going darling, you are doing so well and sound so much calmer.

Beaches I miss you tulip, hope all ok x

Venus Nuff Mouse hello x

I have to admit, I think a sober spanna might be a boring spanna, I've been avoiding any Christmas celebrations not because I can't drink but because, pissed people are so dull, repetitive, think they're really funny, inconsiderate - in fact all the things I was when I was pissed
I have been on a 'readathon' for the passed few weeks, Oh I live the high life now!!!!!!!

According to my app (I don't actually count anymore) 267 Days since I had my last drink & I've not drunk 22 cases of wine & I've not spent £2435 & yet I still don't seem to have any money!!!!!!!!

I love this bus. Have a good day everyone lurking or otherwise

Evening babes, on antibiotics for tooth abscess no a dry Christmas for me and that's good with me :)
Hope all babes are good?

Bloody well done spanna that is awesome.
Hi obrigada hope the tooth clears up soon.

So, Christmas Eve - my presents are all wrapped and the cooking has been done (mega-cooking going on all day in my kitchen). You can tell I don't have any children at home any more, every year when they were small I'd be wrapping at midnight and up at six to get started in the kitchen

To all my lovely friends on here I wish you as much calm and peace as you can extract in the midst of everything, I hope you have days surrounded by excited, happy children, or laid back and grateful teenagers that you can dance with your partner or feel free enough to dance by yourself. I hope you have time to play your favourite music - be it cheesy Christmas tunes, Handel's Messiah, or some rocking Christmas tunes.

But most of all I hope that whatever you (and I) are drinking or not drinking over the next few days that we understand the choices we have made, that we don't feel guilty if we are drinking, and don't feel resentful if we're not.

Merry Christmas Babes xxx

Wishing all you lovely babes a safe and peaceful Christmas. I'm sure we will be in each other's thoughts over the next few days even if we're not posting much at this busy time. Much love x

Hi Babes and Merry Christmas to one and all.

Not been around much lately as have been working flat out and then getting ready for Christmas but just wanted to pop on and say that I hope you all have a safe and happy time, and to thank you all for your friendship over the last year.

Baby your posts are so honest and moving, you have been such an inspiration, Spanna - you awesome sober superstar, hope your dd is OK and wishing you the best time, Venus, Faire, Ma, April, Obrigada, Isindie, Joey, Marfisa, Mouse and all babes currently on the bus, luffs you all lots, enjoy yourselves and sweep up the mince pie crumbs after yourselves.

To those babes MIA (Khalisi, Small, Wry, Beaches, Sweet and lots of other friends over the years), hope you are all safe and well and that you will flag us down again in 2016.

Sorry if I've missed anyone, it wasn't intentional. Merry Christmas with all my love, Hope

Merry Christmas babes one and all.

Did I miss the carol concert and ma s triangle? Sorry... 🎅

Nobody wanted to see my triangle...
Merry Christmas to all of you. My friends, allies and family...

I've seen it before ma - this time of year you're always flashing it about

Just checking in briefly to wish you all a peaceful, joy filled Christmas. With a 2 year old, I'll have lots of the latter and bugger all of the former but I'm looking forward to it immensely.

love and hugs to you all.

ma I first thought it odd you wish a Merry Christmas to friends, aliens and family, do you know any aliens??? then I realised it was "allies", actually laughed out loud.

Merry Christmas, I'm going to bed smiling and sober.

XXXX

Hello bus babes . I have been a long time away but I think about you all. I wanted to pop by, wish you all a very Happy Christmas and tell you that you are all awesome! The bus is like a constant, warm, supportive place to visit, new or old, there is always a seat. I am so touched when I see my name mentioned so thank you Spanna, Hope, Ma and Faire for remembering me. Lots of love and festive thoughts from beaches xxx

beaches ! Good to see you. Happy Christmas.

Wishing all the babes a happy and peaceful Christmas xx

Merry Christmas to the Angels of the Bus. I've missed you so.

Everything went a little wrong and consequently so did I. Worst I've ever been. So here I am, listening to my beloved Judy Garland. Especially Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas and it was like the lyrics opened my heart a small crack, stuck me on roller skates and brought me here.

I am beyond sad that I've missed your highs and lows and inbetweens.

Missed you. Miss you.

Merry Christmas Babes, hope you are surrounded by love and loved ones today, wherever you may be.

Sending the biggest w'interbosies I can muster, with much love, Wry xx

Wry!!!!!!!!!
What a wonderful Christmas surprise to have you back . Have missed you so much, welcome back (fusses round plumping cushions and fetching snacks and cocoa for Wry and tying her to the seat so she can't go missing again).

I hope you are having a good day. I feel quite disappointed but nothing went wrong. I got nice presents, the kids liked theirs, we went out for a meal which was fine, visited the in laws (mother in law got me what I can only describe as leisure wear which looks like it came from the back of a Sunday supplement, and millionaire SIL came back from a months holiday in Australia with a kangaroo fridge magnet for me. Which also doubled up as a Christmas present). But it's not about the presents, I just feel other families are having huge get togethers and playing games and enjoying each other's company. WB is a misery at Christmas and felt the kids just wanted to get everything over with so they could come home and play with their new phones and gadgets. Sigh. All that shopping and prep and I don't even feel like I've had a Christmas Day. I miss my parents ... We always had lovely Christmasses when I was younger.

Am actually watching a Carry On Film now. Aren't there supposed to be games and log fires?

Oh well, still thrilled you are back Wry so that's a bright spot. . Tell us what you've been up to when you have a chance (you are not getting away again)

Hope all you other babes are having a good day. Merry Christmas all xxx

WRY IS BACK!!!
A perfect end to a good day. . Don't you DARE go awol again young lady!
hope my friend, your sil is a total bitch by the way. Glad you had an OK day and I understand the feeling of anti climax after all the planning and hard work. Dd1 was in floods of tears again today missing her friends in Spain. It is SO out of character for her to be emotional like this. She actually let me hug her awhile.
But apart from that, it was a very relaxed and enjoyable day. I had some fizz in the morning and some red wine with dinner but ended the evening with a can of coke so feel OK.
Hope you all had good days, or OK days, or just got through it.
G'night all
< gives wry a special t'interbosie>

wry ! How lovely to see you again. We really all missed you. Sorry to hear you were in a bad place, but know that you are always welcome to climb back on the Bus xxxxxx

Plans for today Babes? Not sure I will even bother getting out of bed...got new books and a new tablet to get to grips with..
Mind you,house needs a touch of restoration after yesterday,but it will certainly be a lazy day.
Those of you in the paths of the downpours and floods,take care,stay safe, and stay dry.

Staying in bed sounds good Ma. My lot won't even notice I'm not there until they want feeding. Raining here.