Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

Just lost a massive post, trying not to scream, here's my garden (not lady type obviously)

Aw, that's so pretty baby. My garden is just damp and miserable today

(not lady type either)

Hi baby andfaire
Here is the view from the kitchen window. It distracts me when I'm doing the dishes...

Wow ma that is beautiful and the sky is gorgeous.

This is the view from my bedroom last summer. I love watching how it changes throughout the year.

I know. Although the actual village where I live is a bit of a shit hole to be honest, the surrounding countryside is beautiful and my commute to work on small roads past mountains and woodland is gorgeous. I'm very lucky in that respect.

Wow faire that is gorgeous too!

Sometimes the sky is just so beautiful it takes my breath away. Really, I know that sounds cheesy but it's stunning and it's right there, above all of us all the time. Always changing and often gorgeous.

It must be amazing against the backdrops of mountains. My drive to work is lovely too ma. Really puts you in a good mood for the day doesn't it. Unless it's pouring with rain or something.

Wow what beautiful views and (house not lady) gardens you all have! Very jealous.

Just at my Mother in laws and managed to turn down the offer of wine - I spent the whole drive over deliberating back and forth but I'm so pleased I turned it down. Mother in law now definitely expects grandchild no.2 soon! Oh well. First real challenge passed.

I love all those crisp snowy scenes, and your sunny one, Faire, and your view must make washing up a pleasure, Ma.

Busy Sunday, nothing special, just the usual prep for the week. I made a coffee and walnut cake, and DS made Swiss roll, which he was upset he couldn't roll properly - but was actually lush!

I could really have done with a glass of wine earlier, but I took the dog for a walk instead. So, day, 17 almost in the bag. I know in the past I have always struggled with week three. It's all so ordinary, there's no dramatic change.

How's everyone else doing?

What lovely country views you all have - I am so jealous.

Don't know about pleasure sweet. I've just had a rant about being the only person in the house who does any sodding dishes!

Hi
Can I join please ?
Feeling scared tbh .
I think I've possibly been bordering on being a functioning alcoholic . I hold down a good job and maintain good relationships . However as soon as I walk in i pour a glass of wine or a G&T.
Usually end up having 3/4 bottle of wine or equivalent measure of poss 6 pub measure G&Ts .
Once tried to cut down and managed some AF nights but not often .
Anyway I had major surgery 3 weeks ago . Didn't drink obviously in hospital for 3 nights .
This week I developed an infection and its completely woken me up so to speak . This surgery is really important to me and if it doesn't heal I will be devastated . The medication ive been put on I absolutely cannot drink with or I'll be violently sick . Apart from that I need to be drinking water and having a healthy diet . So even tho Id like to say I made a decision to stop drinking it was kind of taken for me .
I last had a drink Thursday so this is my 3rd day . I was worried I might withdraw . Might I still ? I've been a bit naggy with the DC but apart from that I actually feel great . I could really do with any help and advice as when i can drink again next Sunday I will have done 10 days AF ..ive only ever gone 4 days in probably ten years . This is my chance to change things .
I am also starting a new life as 2 years out of a 25 year relationship which was dire ...so i don't need this prop anymore really do I ?
Thanks for reading sorry so long x

Welcome tinkerbelle. Have a seat. I have to dash just now, but just chill and the Babes will be along soon...

Hi all, and hi tinkerbell - well done for posting, I know it feels like a big step to take... You WILL feel so much better for not drinking, but it can be tough to change your habits and behaviours, so stick with us and tell us what is troubling you - there is usually someone around to help.

Morning All.

Welcome to the bus, Tink. Sorry it was a quiet one for your first post, but this is a really safe and supportive place. If you've got through day three, and on to day four, you will be coming out of the other side of your last hangover, and things will be feeling good - that is what you need to watch, you'll want to reward yourself, and what is your habitual reward/solace/comfort? All of the Babes have been there, are there, or go back there sometimes, so we understand the fears, and the compulsion, but the body is an amazing thing, it will heal

I was so tired yesterday, and thinking back, I went through this last year, absolute, overwhelming tiredness - and then it came back later - Small you went through it too didn't you?

Ma, I feel your pain. DH who is usually a good bloke, seemed to have lost the use of his limbs this weekend - I baked, I cooked, I laid and cleared the table, loaded the dishwasher, and thought he would go in and finish the things that needed doing by hand . . . nope.

Anyway, a new, sober working week, keep it AF, moderate, honest, lovely Babes.

Morning all and hello to Tinkerbell. Hope you had a good night's sleep? How are you feeling today?

Had a good weekend, first time this month I didn't think much about alcohol - which gave me an awful lot of time to think about other stuff! Felt slightly mundane, but that's ok, it is all about learning to live with the ordinary, minus the highs (and lows).

Thinking about some of your gorgeous drives to work through snowy mountains - loved the pics yesterday. Grinding through town on the bus isn't much of a comparison.

Yes, Sweet, I definitely felt that tiredness last year and - to a slightly lesser extent - this time round too. When it happens it is like a wall, no way round or over it - but it is quite restful just to give in to it (assuming it is viable to do so - less so at 9am at one's desk!). I was thinking about it over the weekend - we were out fri and sat eves and I missed my (current) normal 10 hours sleep, and was barely functional yesterday.

Anyone else still have a very frequent slight headache much of the time? Odd. Not really anything more than a distraction, but odd.

Hope everyone has good days.

Welcome Tink, pop in to post whenever you like, whatever you like. We are all just doing one day at a time. Some moderating, some in the sidecar, some AF, just for today.

Have a good day babes

Morning babes, just checking in.

Waves to all babes, old and new xx

Morning all of you fabulous creatures.

Welcome tink and super well done on your progress so far. My stopping was also enforced but that was through the probability of losing my dh and dd's and my parents last ounce of tolerance!! Sad but true....

This place has been my safe haven, the babes on here the most genuine friends you could wish for and the support will really and truly help you through the days ahead. Sunday is a long way off, we can deal with that nearer the time. By then the amazing benefits will be in full swing and you will be able to decide better how to move forward. I still think forever is too much to contemplate so one day at a time is more realistic and achievable.

I totally agree with the comments regarding the 3rd week trap of life feeling calm but mundane, repetitive even joyless sometimes. All the hours spent thinking about wine, drinking wine or not drinking wine, then there's the actual hours of drinking wine, and the worst bit the during the night and next day hours of regretting drinking the wine. Life may be repetitive but looking at the above cycle I think hell that really is repetitive!!!

Even before my drinking got out of hand I'd spend at least 3 hours a night drinking, and fretting terribly if I had enough??? Should I get more??? So 3 hours (minimum) x 7 days is 21 x 52 is 1092 hours which is 45 days, 45 solid days being tipsy on the couch, wasted days, lets not even get into the hangover hours.

That's a lot of time to fill, to think, to ponder where it all went wrong but it's also a lot of time to read, play with your kids, talk to your friends, reconnect with you dh or try a new hobby, it's time with limitless possibilities instead of time we forget and regret.

If sober life is mundane, the alternative is even more so so I know which one I'd rather have!!!

Just a thought!!!

Love and hugs to every babe out there fighting the good fight xxx

Afternoon, quick break in-between classes.

Baby, me too, the hours I've wasted, the books I could/should have written, the walks I could have taken, I might even be proficient on the Mandolin by now.

I often drank to distract me from how much I had to do, and consequently, ended up without the time to do it .

Tonight, when I get home, I will walk the dog, make dinner, then get into my PJs and veg out in front of Only Connect (and Coronation Street!), knowing that I have worked hard all day, achieved things I was beginning to despair of ever managing in work, and that I will not need to drink.

Brief as I'm at work but baby you make such a good point - life used to revolve around when I'd next have wine, how id get that wine, how long I had to drink that wine, how much could I drink in that time....it's very freeing that that is no longer the case (being wary of getting complacent though)

Now just to find a hobby to feel my newly aquired time. Does anyone have any good documentaries they could recommend? I do love a good documentary - especially now I have half a chance of remembering watching it!

Welcome tink hope you are feeling better today.

Happy Monday babes

Hey all.
Margie you still with us?
Nothing to report other than being knackered. Only Monday and already behind at work....

ma I had a dream last night that I won millions on the lottery and tried to give you some but you wouldn't take it

Roflmao! As if!!!!!!
Gimme da money!