I left my abusive husband

[plantyourhopewithgoodseeds]

After 5 years in what I can finally see as an abusive marriage I have left. It didn't start like this.

There were subtle emotional digs slowly chipping away at my confidence over time.

He told me I was mentally unstable that I needed to visit a GP and acquire medical assistance. He repeatedly told me that I was insane, if I ever got upset.

Everything was always "my fault"

He lied to me repeatedly with the justification that he did it because I would have only got angry therefore he could not possibly tell me the truth.

I wasn't "allowed" to be treated nicely as I didn't "deserve" it due to the fact I had the audacity to stand up to him at times.

He was sexually controlling

A compulsive liar

He gas-lighted

A cheat

He had a double life

To everybody else he was kind and caring and a wonderful, I thought nobody would believe me.

He told me if I ever left him he would destroy my life, make up lies, get me sacked from my job.

Over the past few months I began to wake up to the situation I started noticing things , started putting my ducks in a row and gathering evidence, finding a new home for myself, so I could leave.

Even when confronting him, it was my fault he met up with women for sex because I didn't fuck him when he needed it.....

I left, it's very early days, I feel free and I feel an immense feeling of relief. My space, body and brain finally feel like my own. I just can't believe at times I let this happen, some days I feel like screaming.

I never want him back in my life. I just need some support to stay strong and keep pushing on.

You crashed, but I'd be more worried in a way if you hadn't - you need to feel all this stuff and much as it's a cliché 'the only way out is through'. After a very difficult time in my life, I have worked thru a lot of grief, and I think if I hadn't I'd be incapable of seeing triggers or people who have what I've lost without a meltdown. As it is I feel it sometimes but it doesn't stop me being a friend, and fully present in the world. Don't know if that makes sense.

I sew - a bit the other way round to you perhaps, a more experienced cross stitcher but newly self taught with a sewing machine, and I'm making stockings in lieu of gift bags for friends' Christmas presents. I got the patterns from etsy.

Keep smiling and sobbing and all that's in between (no need to name check if it is a burden on my account anyways)

Hello everyone.

I had a terrible few days towards the end of last week, but took myself away for the weekend, to get away from anything and it's done me the world of good.

Thank you all for the positive messages.

I have now started on some Christmas projects this week and have dug out and plugged in the sewing machine and got a little kit for cross stitch.

The manual is coming on well

The four legged zoo are being wonderful furry companions and I have finally finished unpacking my new home.

Thanks for all the ideas as well and the positive messages. My solicitor is also doing a wonderful job and moving things along as swiftly as she can.

I am still struggling with sleeping, I have been offered a course of sleeping tablets to help by my GP, but I am quite reluctant to take them as I never have done before.

Hey Plant! Sorry to hear you had a rough few days but it sounds as though some time out did you some good. Hopefully your home will progress especially if you're doing all that sewing/craft work! One day at a time...

Re sleeping pills - I was offered some too, took the prescription but never cashed it in. I went the homeopathic way instead so lavender scented candles, relaxation music and an Ovaltine at bedtime. It took a few days to get into a routine but seems to work.

Andrew Johnson app (hypnotherapy) is brilliant. There's his Relax+ app which you can download different therapy sessions (sleep, relax, positivity, quit drinking etc) I could not be without this, I rely heavily on it every evening. Avoid the sleeping 💊 if you can plant. Happy 😴😴😴

I have progressing page of interesting script re EA. I progressively paste into it when I see a quintessential description/symptom
in way of fathoming it for myself. daughter

Your could publish your manual on lulu, I'm sure you would have an instant success judging on the number of people who post here.

OP you're an inspiration! Well done for escaping and moving on.

Stay strong.

Massive respect.

I was the same with sleeping pills but they did help.
It just gets your 'clock' back to a routine.
I took one every other day for about a week and I was far better.
So glad you had a good weekend.
One step at a time - you are getting there.
Hope you have another good weekend.
Give the furry zoo a hug from us!

I had sleeping pills once. My gp very kindly prescribed me enough for 2 weeks. In fact, they lasted me over 6 months! I had 28, two a night. I started with a half one every other night, and if I was completely exhausted and wound up I'd take a whole one. I think I took pils/parts of pills on consecutive nights maybe twice.

They helped. They really helped, and I am so glad I took them. After a couple of weeks of taking them no more than every other night, and usually only taking half of one, my need for them became much less. They got me through a really difficult fortnight, and several blips thereafter. I took the last half some 8 months later, and I've never had any since - about 15 years.

Things like sleeping tablets and anti-depressants aren't there for life, they are there to help you through difficult times. Don't be afraid of them!