Husband unreasonable??

[Jessicahamdouchi]

Hi I'm very new here just want u ladies opinions :)
My husband is starting to really get me down arguments are starting to be the same he always picks at my personality
Says things to start an argument like
U gonna make u a cup tea!!
Where's dinner?!
Get me my shoes
I normally put up with it but even that's not good enough for him we have 2 kids I'm pregnant again 4 months along
He never helps with them or nappies, bedtime
Shouts at us when he's home
And now he's punished me for not like the things he does
Ie
Ornaments
Not wanting a new iPhone right now
Not liking his jokes aimed at me
Now he is suddenly unhappy that I cry a lot
Can you wonder?
I'll share more later but this is a taster of life
Fed up :)

I think women's aid might be a good idea for you too.....

Can't believe I'm 23 with a failed marriage
Nevermind

I didn't want the midwife to know really

Becoz she's the person that comes to conclusions

Thanks for the book I'll look it up xxx

Its not a failure, this is how you learn! Phone your mum! You are very young just say hello she is probably worried sick.

Ok xxx

You are not a failure! At 23 you can really make so many changes in your life. Train at college, start an apprenticeship when the children are a bit older.

Speak to your mum, my dd is a teen, if she was 23 and rang me in your situation I'd sleep in a tent in my garden and give her my bed rather than her stay with a man like your dh.

Does he have indefinite leave to remain? Or is he on a spousal visa?

Don't think about failure. Every mistake has a lesson for success buried in it. No matter how shit it feels. It really does feel like it's time for you to change your current life path and get out of this very very controlling lifestyle. Before it kills you. Literally.

YOU are important. Your DC who you birthed are important. Save you and them because my crystal ball is not seeing happy stuff if you stay put.

At 23 my partner was an arsehole, it took me a further 5 years to leave. At 29 I met my amazing dh, I am so pleased I left when I did, my life is fab now.

Yours can be too.

Your midwife could help, she will have local numbers for help possibly.

Do you rent? Is the house private rented? In your name or joint!

We rent in jooint name from housing association

He has indefinite leave

Tbh I was thinking to my self " it's ok when you die when ur old ur be happy and free" I know that's not the way to think!

43% did u have kids with that guy at 23

Also seems strange to ask but what kind of arguments if any do u have with ur partners like do they end up big and are they easy to resolve
Sorry but had to ask xxx

Of Corse we argue but its generally about stupid stuff and over in an you or so, it doesn't involve tears or stuff more likely me throwing a wobbly because he doesn't get up on a sunday morning.
What you are living isn't normal or healthy darling x

Xxx thanks xxx

Good night all I hope we could speak tomorrow xxxx

He's being controlling isn't he. Like you're his possession. Nightmare. I married an African, posh, british public school, and he ended up very controlling - like I had to learn to be obedient. Subservient to my master

Anyway, cultural or not, it's not acceptable. Have a look at the Freedom Programme - Google it, click 'find a course' to find a course near you; email the facilitator who'll get back to you, GO. It'll give you strength and camaraderie. You'll know without a shadow of doubt it's not you who is unreasonable/mad.

Not sure what you mean about your life not being private with your mum. You mean she tells your business to others? I know that's not good but right now I think that should be the least of your worries. And it may actually bring you offers of help or support.

Hide the money. Hide your children's birth certificates as well as passports. If you can, try to write down any bank names and account numbers you can find for accounts he has. Try to get a hold of a recent paystub for him if you can to show what his earnings are. You're going to want to talk to a solicitor and see about getting child maintenance. WA can point you in the right direction. Are you eligible for any benefits and are they being paid in your name?

*Yea I'm hiding my girls passport my son doesn't have one thank god
*

if your son doesn't have a passport get him one and hide it too - otherwise there is nothing stopping your H from getting one.

Child tax credit and that is all in his name

He stuff is being packed now as it got nasty this morning

I had a feeling it might, are u ok?

Ohh I just feel so guilty become he's bringing up the good times we had
But still not rising to it
The storming about and name calling is the worst xx

I don't think he's going to leave Jessica, that would be way too easy, and anyway he gets his entire sense of self from subjugating you.

He's simply trying to frighten you into submission.

So yes, WA, escape plan and the Freedom Programme.

Has he ever got physical?

First time he nearly did
Didn't but I see it in him

I don't think that will be an issue though I'm goons speak to wa