Was going to name change for this but can’t remember my password so sod it. Might have to go undercover later. Apologies but this is going to be long.
DH and I had a massive argument yesterday. Our driveway slopes gently down towards the road. It’s not a huge incline – but enough that if you left the handbrake off the car it would roll slowly down. We have been using the driveway to store our caravan (a sore point – DH promised when he bought it 2 years ago he’d put it into storage but never did). Finally he sorted out somewhere to store it and planned to take it down yesterday afternoon. He asked me to help him move it off the driveway, so I went out with him. He couldn’t back the car up to the caravan because our neighbour had parked her (beloved, pride and joy) car directly opposite our drive. She wasn’t in so we couldn’t ask her to move it. The road isn’t very wide so it meant we had to pull the carvan down the drive, turning it as we went to avoid her car. There was about 6 inches wiggle room, so all very tight. Remember the drive is on a slope. I have hopermobility, and am generally clumsy and not very confident in my abilities (physically). I said to DH “What if I can’t hold it [the caravan] and we hit the car?” He responded “it won’t”.
DH has form for brushing any of my worries under the carpet. His way of dealing with anything is “oh, it’ll never happen”. He will never make an effort to reduce the chance of something happen / plan for a problem because he’s convinced it’ll never happen. So I said it made me feel really bad when he didn’t at least acknowledge my fears. So he said “well what do you WANT me to say?” Clearly getting annoyed with me. I thought for a bit and suggested that I would like him to make an effort to show he’s thought about what I’ve said, and made some practical suggestions. Or at least not become annoyed when I told him I was worried about something. He responded with “Fine, we’ll leave it then.” And stormed into the house, slamming doors and throwing things as he went (toddler DS sitting on the sofa and watching all the time). I followed him and and asked him to “listen for a moment” as I was going to say we can still do it I’d just like some reassurance, but he refused to speak to me. I suspect this was because actually he realised it was a risky thing to try but would never admit it.
So I sat down with DS, feeling generally shit about myself. A few minutes later I heard the door go. I knew he had to sort out his van for work so didn’t think much of it. Decided to get some fresh air so stuck DS in his buggy and took the dogs for a walk. When I got outside I saw that he’d moved the caravan alone and had taken it away. Bloody stupid. If he’d slipped he could’ve been seriously hurt (or worse) and I wouldn’t have even known he was there. Even more annoying is that he could clearly hold the weight of the caravan so presumably only wanted me to help guide it? But because he wouldn’t bloody talk to me I had no way of knowing that.
A little bit of background: Life is very stressful at the moment, my dog is dying of cancer and has to go outside to the toilet every 2-3 hours, so I’m up 3 or 4 times every night to let him out. So exhausted. We’ve just had his parents over for the weekend which is always stressful (they are lovely but DH acts like a spoilt teenager when around his family). So I’m possibly not in the best frame of mind anyway.
So this morning, he’s acting like nothing’s happened. But I’m refusing to back down on this and I want an apology. Usually when we argue I’m the one to back down. So AIBU? Or does he need to apologise?