OLD I've seen it all now!

[blushingbelinda]

Surfing the profiles I've found two tonight that really push the boat out. The first was a late 40s something Mr Bean type, half bald, wearing his Addidas trackies in various sex-kitten poses over his settee & bed!! The other beauty was a chap who told it like it is & said in his blurb that he's a mans man & likes to moan & fart!!! I mean wtaf? Yeah, that really does it for me. Vom. You seen any howlers?

I has another who I had one date with seems pretty normalish. Ater the date bombarded me texts declaring love. One night he drove over an hour to my local pub and sent me photo very eerie and begged me to come down for 10 minutes. Told his if he did not puck off I would call the police

Euwwww

My first ever message on an OLD site was from a guy asking me to go to a swingers party. I guess men can't attend alone?

I declined.

I was v shocked, but soon wised up to the world of online strangeness

oh that reminds meIWAn he told me he left his wife because she was boring and would not join the swingers scene. Some how think he will be single for some time lol

Might be the same man.

Wow, these stories!
Nepotism, I found yours particularly funny. Perhaps it was all about gauging reactions? Was he attractive btw?!

I would have pissed on him in the bath. For a price! Then left laughing all the way to the bank

My friend (actually my friend, not me) turned up and literally the first thing the guy said was that he was looking for a 25 year old - she is 42 and hadn't lied about her age - as he felt he deserved a young woman, but that she would do until one came along. He was 53.

Some men genuinely think women should be grateful for interest.

I got a message from a legover69 asking me if i wanted to go camping in his two man tent. I replied, stupidly, to say no thank you but that his screen name made me laugh. He said ''ah you're like the rest of the boring nuns on here''.

I actually got chatting to him and we ended up having a fairly interesting conversation about the 'economics' of dating and supply and demand and articles he'd read on psychology today. He was doing his best to present himself as a perve

I was also accused of ''only going for the best looking men'' because I rejected somebody who was coming across really clingy. I'd told that guy I'd had a date and he said to me ''you're still on here so you met up with him and he didn't like you and you'd nothing to say to each other'' which is not what happened at all!! He then sent back a ridiculous character assassination best on the fact that I'd politely changed my mind about meeting up with him. I'd ahd a hunch.

I also nearly met up with a man 16 years older than me but luckily discovered his lie before I set out to meet him. That would have been so awkward.

motherofflagons wow, what did your friend say and do?!

Lorelei not if he were the last man on earth........

I also come across (no pun intended) some very weird usernames. "PeeOnMeLadies" "RimFiddler" and "ClitLicker". I've decided I must be a prude!

wow. Can I add ''h0rny'' to the list. Saw that a while back.

It sounds like a lot of people are just on the sites to kill time and have a laugh?

Or to try it on and see if they get lucky.

Worst I saw was a guy who had a list of really weird damands on his profile. One of which was that you must not shave your fanny. He was quite disturbing and I sometimes wonder if he ever got any dates.

I got a message once from a guy on Match just saying "younger lover?" I'm 47, he was.......44

Rimfiddler?! The fuck? I got a message from a guy asking me to look at his pictures and let him know what I thought of his body. So onto his pictures I duly clicked to find a very overweight man, stood in a kitchen, wearing only a pair of manky old boxer shorts and a cape.

Ive had:

A 19 year old who looked 12 and reckoned 'older women are easy and grateful'
An alcoholic racist who turned up reeking of booze & talked for 3hrs solid
Three 70+ guys who couldnt understand a 46yr old felt that was too big an age gap
A guy who said he was in Dubai every other week 'and skype/mobiles dont work there so i am not contactable'

Shy and bit boring millionaire who was too shy to DTD
A married guy looking for 'afternoon only fun'

Oh and a drug taking, chain smoking, alcoholic , escort using 50yr old accountant who only liked sex if you pretended to be cartoon 'anime' character. I didnt even know what Elf sex re. cartoon characters sha**ing was! His favourite escort took grave exception to being asked to wear a witches outfit (final straw after Pixie/Elf outfits) so he thought he'd try OLD.

This making me laugh. I had a guy once to posted an obviuosly fake profile pic, you know the model type, Thought I would play along a bit, must have been bored that night, anyhow eventually after I kept asking for a photo he sent me his real pic, an over weight ugly looking farmer type. So when I replied thanks but no thanks he said sent me a nasty text saying I am shallow like all the rest FFS

Blossom, that's when you send an equally revolting picture back and ask if he'd hit it.

Hi folks, I have no stories to add re OLD ( never done it-yet) but I am and have been gobsmacked, but in total hysterics reading through this thread!

I honestly don't think that I am thick skinned enough to do it, without it getting to me too much.

Ooh, I did (quite a few years ago) meet a guy in a club who suggested that I join a dating site, so he could 'look me up' - I didn't oblige.

• not thick skinned

profile pic tonight of a half naked 50 year old draped in Christmas decorations. He claims he's a psychiatrist

I keep sniggering over that one everytime i see a Christams ad now! Does that trounce my 'dressing up as cartoon characters for sex is perfectly normal' accountant Nepotism ?

A 19 year old who looked 12 and reckoned 'older women are easy and grateful'

Yeah like we're all really grateful to have it over & done with in two minutes flat

Yeh, blossom, if I'm accused of that, I shall send back this photo

I wouldn't mind meeting the millionaire who was too shy to DTD