Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He sent me the wrong message on whatsapp

88 replies

Nevergoingtolearn · 16/10/2015 07:20

I am hoping I'm being silly, seeing a new guy, we talk a lot on whatsapp as he lives quite far away ( see each other at weekends ), last night I told him I was going to sleep at half ten, he said 'goodnight' etc... 10 minutes later I get a message that made no sense followed by another, neither were anything interesting but they ended with lots of xxxxxxx's Hmm, I then get a message at 5am saying he doesn't know where these messages come from. I haven't replied to him as I'm not sure what to say Sad. Why would a man put kisses on the end of a message unless it's to a close family member or his girlfriend?

Am I being silly by worrying? The relationship is very new and after being messed around by several men I don't feel I'm ready to trust him.

What do I say to him? Do I just ask who the messages were meant to be for?

OP posts:
Shinyhappypeople9 · 16/10/2015 07:22

Do you need to ask? He will have someone else on the go. The message trying to wriggle out of it at 5am confirms that.

NK5BM3 · 16/10/2015 07:23

Yes I would just ask. You have the right to, especially if you guys are really 'seeing each other'. If he's just a casual friend that you have more feelings for then I don't think you have the right.

Original poster
Nevergoingtolearn · 16/10/2015 07:28

He's saying he was messaging a mate ( male ) so I asked 'why the kisses?' , we are not just casual friends Sad

OP posts:
Shinyhappypeople9 · 16/10/2015 07:33

Well it sounds suspicious to me.

Handywoman · 16/10/2015 07:33

Doesn't know where those messages come from? Hahahaha! Nice try!

He's seeing someone else - simples.

magoria · 16/10/2015 07:38

Don't say anything.

First he doesn't know where they come from. Then they are for a mate. So he did know where they come from.

It's early days. Any excuse will just be a waste of your time. Block him and move on.

Be glad you found out so early.

HeySoulSister · 16/10/2015 07:40

Did you meet on a dating site?

tribpot · 16/10/2015 07:40

Are you meant to be exclusive? (I've never understood this concept, but I believe nowadays people can legitimately be casually dating more than one person at a time).

It's pretty obvious he has someone else - first he said he didn't know where the messages came from, then that he was messaging a mate. Are you sure he's not married?

Scarydinosaurs · 16/10/2015 07:46

My whatsapp does this to me, especially if I'm using iMessage at the same time.

He's seeing someone else, I would back off.

Original poster
Nevergoingtolearn · 16/10/2015 07:48

We did meet online, we have had the exclusive chat, if anything he seemed more into me than I am him. Before we went exclusive I was chatting to other men ( I know that's how old works ), he told me that he hasn't been chatting to anyone else and has removed his profile from the dating site.

He's saying he was messaging me and his mate at the same time and accidentally put kisses on his mates message. The messages were the sort of thing you would send your mate, he swore in one message and he never swears in my messages, it was just the kisses that made me worry and still making me worry. It's not unusual for him to be awake at 5am or the middle of the night. He does drink sometimes ( maybe he had been drinking ). He keeps messaging telling me he's telling the truth but I'm not sure what to believe, it's early days and I have my guard up and I probably have 'idiot' tattooed on my head. I feel sick Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Nevergoingtolearn · 16/10/2015 07:50

He tells me he's been single for a long time, he's very shy, I don't think he would be sleeping with someone else but he could be chatting to someone he met online Sad.

OP posts:
PannaDoll · 16/10/2015 07:53

None of that sounds good.

ValancyJane · 16/10/2015 07:54

Sounds like he's messaging other girls despite the exclusivity conversation (if you hadn't had that it would have been acceptable, despite obviously not nice to read), now realised his mistake and is now backtracking. I would be moving swiftly on from this one!!!

poppyseedbagel · 16/10/2015 07:55

When I first starting going out with my DP, now DH, he accidentally added on x's to a text message to his friend. It was a big laugh and a joke, as it was something he just automatically did when texting me. So it is possible he added on x's when messaging a friend by mistake.. perhaps a little less likely that he then sent the message to you in error.

onemorerose · 16/10/2015 07:57

Oh no, I've read your posts and this is the 2 hours away guy right? I would definitely think he is messaging another woman, sorry. What was the content about?

jellyjiggles · 16/10/2015 07:58

Red flags! Walk away from him.

Shy and quiet does not equal trustworthy!

73dexter · 16/10/2015 08:00

I imagine he wanted you to be seeing him exclusively and not chatting to other men, which is why he seemed so keen on it.

Drquin · 16/10/2015 08:02

For what it's worth, I have more than once added "DrQ xxx" at the end of many a non-kissy email or text. Usually it's been on a text or IM where a work colleague has sent a quick text, rather than email.... As I mainly text friends / family, habit forms that I finish a text with a "x".
Yeah, it's not rocket science to get it right, but it does happen.

Original poster
Nevergoingtolearn · 16/10/2015 08:06

First message said 'when? Xxxxx' and the other said 'you need to sort this out before all the shit xxxx', the last one does kind of make sense as his mate is going through a bit of a tough time but why the kisses? The first message was 2 minutes after he sent me a message saying he's missing me.

He sent a message half an hour ago saying ' I promise I'm not speaking to or seeing anyone else, I want to be with you, I'm really worried I have upset you, I was chatting to xxxx ( his mate ) and I don't know why I put kisses, he's going to think I'm really stupid, lol, I must have got confused messaging you both at the same time' etc...etc...

OP posts:
toldmywrath · 16/10/2015 08:07

Personally I'd give him the benefit of the doubt- accept that he is telling you the truth. Caveat though is- if you no longer feel you can trust him, it won't sit comfortably in your relationship- a relationship is built on trust.

Original poster
Nevergoingtolearn · 16/10/2015 08:08

Do men put kissess on the end of messages to anyone other than their mum or their gf though?

I know I put kisses on the end of my messages to everyone but it seems ok for a woman to do that, doesn't it? Seems odd for a man to do it?

OP posts:
BastardGoDarkly · 16/10/2015 08:09

I think that's believable actually.

BastardGoDarkly · 16/10/2015 08:11

That was a mistake because he was messaging you at the same time?

Original poster
Nevergoingtolearn · 16/10/2015 08:11

Toldmy ,I want to give him the benefit of the doubt but I think it could effect trust, I'm meant to be seeing him Sunday, I really like him but now I'm questioning if he is genuine or fake Sad, I don't know him well enough to trust him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nevergoingtolearn · 16/10/2015 08:13

Oh and I'm queen of fuck ups on whatsapp, I have sent messages to the wing people ( including a rude photo ) so I know it's easily done Grin, if the kisses were not there I wouldn't have thought anything of it.

OP posts: