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Original poster

He sent me the wrong message on whatsapp

88 replies

Nevergoingtolearn · 16/10/2015 07:20

I am hoping I'm being silly, seeing a new guy, we talk a lot on whatsapp as he lives quite far away ( see each other at weekends ), last night I told him I was going to sleep at half ten, he said 'goodnight' etc... 10 minutes later I get a message that made no sense followed by another, neither were anything interesting but they ended with lots of xxxxxxx's Hmm, I then get a message at 5am saying he doesn't know where these messages come from. I haven't replied to him as I'm not sure what to say Sad. Why would a man put kisses on the end of a message unless it's to a close family member or his girlfriend?

Am I being silly by worrying? The relationship is very new and after being messed around by several men I don't feel I'm ready to trust him.

What do I say to him? Do I just ask who the messages were meant to be for?

OP posts:
herderofcats · 16/10/2015 08:14

I've nearly put xx on the end of my posts here, when I've been chatting to one of my kids by text.

Lacoba66 · 16/10/2015 08:18

So did he actually send any messages to his mate at all, or did you get all of them accidentally?

Of its a combination, then you could suggest he take a screen shot of the conversation to his mate and that could show if it ties in with the messages you have received - obviously not everyone will agree with this, but it's just a suggestion...

KeyserSophie · 16/10/2015 08:19

I signed off "love you lots" to my boss once.

Germgirl · 16/10/2015 08:22

I was going to say that too. If he really wanted to send those messages to his mate then get him to screenshot the conversation. Surely there will be times etc on that so he can't fake it?

EBearhug · 16/10/2015 08:23

Putting xxx on a post here isn't as bad as doing it on a work email...

Surely if he realised he'd sent a message for his mate, he'did resend it without the xxx on the end? So not convinced by his mate thinking he'said mad. (Don't use WhatsApp though, so might misunderstando how it works.)

Qwertybynature · 16/10/2015 08:23

See him on Sunday see how you feel and if your feelings have changed as a result of the text then you can tell him then. It's hard if you've been let down before and if you feel the trust has been erroded it's going to make the relationship even harder.

ohtheholidays · 16/10/2015 08:23

I did that once,in the middle of texting my DH and a friend(a guy that I'd looked out for when he was growing up,best friend of my nephew and a lot lot younger than me)my God I felt sick when it happened,text him straight away and explained,he said I did wonder what happened,I think the blood had drained from his face as quick as it had mine lol.

TRexingInAsda · 16/10/2015 08:25

It's easy to make mistakes like that once, but he did it twice in 2 minutes! Then he sent a message at 5am saying he didn't know where the messages came from, before later realising that was a shit excuse and thinking of a more realistic one. Just block him and move on.

EBearhug · 16/10/2015 08:25

*he'd resend
*misunderstand

OK, I can believe phones will totally garble whatever you tell it to do...

Lweji · 16/10/2015 08:29

If you doubt his version you could ask him to see the messages his friend sent him at that time.

It's not a particularly good start to a relationship, but I suppose you're still getting to know him and establishing trust.

maxybrown · 16/10/2015 08:31

Hmm I think if he hadn't said he didn't know where they came from I might be more inclined to believe him, but I'm sorry that is just covering stuff up. A 5am message like that reeks of panic to me.

I met a guy online dating, I found loads of messages to other girls - it was awful - he too was shy and quiet and seemed absolutely lovely. It really knocked me and I felt stupid. The whole thing was a complete lie. I did go on to meet DH online though Grin

LovelyFriend · 16/10/2015 08:48

He wasn't messaging you both at the same time though was he? You had signed off and gone to bed.

Maybe he got confused as he was messaging his mate AND another woman?

Imgivinguponyou · 16/10/2015 08:50

An accident would be one kiss once. Not loads of kisses twice. I wouldn't trust him with a barge pole. Plus texting someone in the middle of the night? It's another woman sorry.

Don't be taken in by he's quiet and lovely. He is still going to get those excitement feelings if he's texting women he has met online.

Afterthestorm · 16/10/2015 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ForChina · 16/10/2015 09:48

No it's clearly a lie because first of all he said he didn't know where the messages came from and then apparently he DID know where they came from but they were meant for his mate and oh he accidentally put kisses for his mate twice.

I'm sorry but no, this is a lie.

ScribblerOnTheRoof · 16/10/2015 09:55

Right, first of all he stated he didn't know where the messages came from. Then admitted they were to a mate. Lies.

Secondly, the first message he sent seems a little suspicious. He knew that, so he followed it up with another message which related closer to his mate. He sent the first message by accident, the second on purpose so his story seemed more believable.

Gutterflower · 16/10/2015 10:00

My husband has sent text messages to his mates with kisses on the end because the majority of his messages are sent to me so it's done out of habbit. He has also sent messages with babe on aswell. I've also sent messages to him that were supposed to go to other people (all totally innocent). I'd be tempted to believe him OP, theres doesn't have to be bad in every situation.

wannaBe · 16/10/2015 10:08

I would believe him if it hadn't been for the fact he first said that he didn't know where the messages had come from. imo it's perfectly possible to send a message to the wrong person or to put kisses out of force of habit, even to not realise that the messages had gone to the wrong person if he'd sent them and then gone to sleep for instance. But he would have known what they were and wouldn't have had to come up with a "don't know where the messages came from" get-out.

I would get rid.

wotoodoo · 16/10/2015 10:10

Oh for god's sake op stop over analysing this: it is what it is, he has got someone else on the go and if you're this suspicious so early on (rightly so) it does not bode well anyway so cut yourself loose and find someone else.

Marisaurus · 16/10/2015 10:17

To me it's a plausible reason EXCEPT for the 5am "don't know where they came from" message. Yes you did, you typed them to your mate.

Why did he need to lie then, even if now he is telling the truth.

Floggingmolly · 16/10/2015 10:18

It doesn't matter whether he accidentally put the xxx's in his mates messages; or whether he always signs off with xxx's irregardless of who he's messaging.
The only relevant point is that he claimed he "didn't know where those messages came from"; the messages he'd only just typed. Lying toad.

PhoebeMcPeePee · 16/10/2015 10:22

Oh for god's sake op stop over analysing this: it is what it is, he has got someone else on the go and if you're this suspicious so early on (rightly so) it does not bode well anyway so cut yourself loose and find someone else.

Absolutely agree Wotoodoo

Original poster
Nevergoingtolearn · 16/10/2015 10:24

He quite often messages me after I have signed off (said goodnight ) usually to say he misses me or because he can't sleep so that bit is not strange. The worrying bit is that he tried to say he didn't know where the messages came from before saying they were a conversation with his friend ( it wouldn't be hard to work out where they came from ). And don't think he's clever enough to write the 2nd message to make it look like a message to his mate. I really don't know what to think, do I go and see him Sunday and ask to see the the chat with his mate on his phone? It feels wrong to do that at as its just going to make me look like I'm insecure. I don't know what to do Sad he has given me no other reasons not to trust him but I haven't known him long, everything he tells me could be lies for all I know Sad

OP posts:
ForChina · 16/10/2015 10:29

He is lying to you. Tell him that if he tells the truth maybe you can forgive him and work on a future but until he tells the truth, you are out.

I'm sorry but it's the 'I don't know where the messages came from' COUPLED with the 'accidental kisses' to a mate. Too much of a coincidence I'm afraid.

Floggingmolly · 16/10/2015 10:31

You don't think he's clever enough? Hmm. What on earth do you see in him?

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