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Original poster

Is he playing me?

112 replies

Deboroarh · 12/10/2015 16:03

Hi all a new is here on the hunt for some advice.

Ok I've recently started seeing someone who I met on pof. He comes across as a lovely decent guy who is understanding of me wanting to keep my children separate from my love life and how that limits any time I see him. We chat on Skype every night and he is sweet and funny (perfect eh!?) and everytime I talk to him I think how nice he is. So due to my children only spending alternate weekends with their dad I only see him then he stays over and Ye once again is lovely but usually leaves late morning blaming tiredness or needing to prepare for work the next day. He chats and messages all day and we Skype at night as usual. Ok back story done
On Saturday night I saw a whatsapp message he'd sent to his friend saying he couldn't go watch football because he was in my house his mate asked who I was he said "some bird I'm banging" Confused
So basically what do you guys think just boys talk or is he a d**k who gets his leg over then goes home. My free time is v precious I don't want to spend it on a fool

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 13/10/2015 18:54

Indeed. I never thought of it like that. Zips gob. Smile

CainInThePunting · 13/10/2015 18:59

I'm afraid any man who referred to me as 'some bird he's banging' would be 'banging' no more.

That is a disgusting and crass way to talk about someone. It doesn't say much for his mates either.

Vile.

Get rid.

lavenderhoney · 13/10/2015 19:33

He's told you what he thinks! Don't twist it to be nice.

Announce to him you're busy at the weekend being dated and treated nicely and unfortunately as he's just some bloke you're banging, he will have to take a back seat.

And yes, he's told you what he thinks and now he is flapping about. Unless he arrives with flowers, stops wanting sex and takes the whole relationship back to dating for the next 6 months and tells his friends he's busy because he's met a girl he really likes, he's hoping you'll swallow his bullshit and continue to be the bird he is banging. for now. Til ms right comes along.

spudlike1 · 13/10/2015 19:39

Hmm take big step back . Boys talk is quite revolting ...
Tell him you saw the message challenge him big time, life is to short and your time is too precious .

spudlike1 · 13/10/2015 19:43

Oh and tell him you need a man not an idiot boy

spudlike1 · 13/10/2015 19:50

And why should meeting or not meeting the children be a measure for how serious the relationship is . You could be serious and committed for an age , and still not be ready to involve your children.... surely ?

spudlike1 · 13/10/2015 19:51

Oh and good luck with finding a grown up man to.date ( just read full post oops sorry)

MissApple · 13/10/2015 20:47

...a cheeky Nando's followed by a cheeky bang?!

HellKitty · 14/10/2015 05:18

I hope it is over, you're worth much more than a bang. The thing is if he wanted it to be serious then why was he so reticent to tell his friend who you were? It's a bit of a giant and impossible leap from 'some bird' to 'Mrs CheekyBanter'.

6-7 weeks in, I met my DP through OLD and also saw him every fortnight due to DCs, his workmates and his mates knew my name. I even met his DM on our second date but that's a whole other story!

I hope you're getting some sleep Thanks

magiccatlitter · 14/10/2015 06:23

Good that you gave him the boot.

What a hideous thing to say to his friends about you.
"Without thinking" was very telling indeed. A proper response would have been something like, "a new friend I'm getting to know" if he didn't want to get into details yet. but know he chose to be disgusting with what he said.

Confronting wankers like this proves nothing as they are already lying to get in your pants. They certainly aren't going to tell the truth now with "yes I'm a wanker and I'm using you."

Isetan · 14/10/2015 08:08

He's positioned himself as a 'good guy' in your eyes, even if you are just a convenient shag until a more convenient shag surfaces, he's unlikely going to admit this. Do not underestimate the bullshit some men will do and spout to secure a regular shag.

It's been 7 weeks and you met this man online, you know nothing about him other than the 'good guy' image he's projected of himself. Do you really want to invest more time in a man you're sharing bodily fluids with, who describes you and your relationship as "just some bird he's banging". When a man unwittingly tells you who they are, listen.

Entertaining the idea of downgrading his derogatory bullshit as 'boys banter', says an awful lot about your boundaries. If he isn't mature enough to describe who you are as anything more than "just some bird he's banging", then he really isn't mature enough to be starting a relationship with any woman, let alone one who has kids.

Finding out what he thinks about you so early in your relationship, is a gift.

TracyBarlow · 14/10/2015 10:24

Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with someone who, in any context, uses the phrase 'just some bird I'm banging'?

Come on love, have some self-respect.

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