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Original poster

XH paid 75% of our mortgage, now he thinks he's entitled to 75% of the house...

90 replies

Mumsnutter963 · 29/09/2015 21:30

He is self employed on a very low wage and I earn about 3 times more than him, so I agree it is not a 50-50 split but I don't believe it should be 75-25. He has stayed in the house and I have taken a mortgage on a new home. We have the kids half the week each. What do you think?

OP posts:
PinkGinny · 29/09/2015 21:33

Why do you think not?

LookAtMeGo · 29/09/2015 21:34

Well the law starts at 50/50

LookAtMeGo · 29/09/2015 21:35

All marital assets get split equally unless you have a shit hot lawyer

redredblue · 29/09/2015 21:35

What about the deposit?
Maybe 65-35

LookAtMeGo · 29/09/2015 21:35

I learned this as the higher earning partner, and had to realise it was fair.

RandomMess · 29/09/2015 21:37

Depends on many things but as the higher earner doesn't seem that unfair...

KevinAndMe · 29/09/2015 21:38

How long were you married for?

Where would he be able to live if he wasn't staying in that house? Could he get a morgage? Could he still have a house big enough for the children to spend half of the week confortably?

KevinAndMe · 29/09/2015 21:39

Why did he pay 75% of the morgage if he is the lowest earner?

FanSpamTastic · 29/09/2015 21:43

I think you need to consider the whole financial settlement. What about maintenance, attachment of pension etc? Would you be happy with proposed 75:25 split if it meant you paid no additional maintenance and he had no rights to your pension? Overall all the assets from the marriage should be divided fairly taking into account the provision for children. I don't necessarily think you should just look at who paid what but rather what is there to be divided and how can it be divided equally.

verystressedmum · 29/09/2015 21:54

What do you mean he paid 75%? And how did he manage to do it when he's on such a low wage?

Original poster
Mumsnutter963 · 29/09/2015 22:03

He used to be the higher earner, earning 4 times my salary, hence he paid more of the mortgage, but that changed when he became self employed.

We were together for 20 years and married for 12.

The 25% he is offering includes me keeping my pensions. There is no maintenance.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumsnutter963 · 29/09/2015 22:10

I have offered to settle for 35-65 but he won't budge. 25% with me keeping my pensions works out at ?10K which is not a lot to show for 20 years together. We were mortgage free and now I have had to start again taking out a mortgage in my 40's which is a struggle and I will have to pay for until my 60's whilst he and his partner live in our old house for free.

OP posts:
pootlebug · 29/09/2015 22:11

So you get 25% of the house, plus your pensions? If you earn 3x what he does, that might not be a terrible deal. Not because he paid it, but because he is likely to be entitled to more as the lower earner (unless you can show that he is quite capable of reverting to his previous salary with very little delay).

My DH was the higher earner and got 0% of the house equity in his split with his ex. He did get to keep his pension (worth approx 1/3 of the house value…albeit not available to him for some time). The money allowed his ex to buy a 4-bed house outright for her and their child. Child maintenance, spousal maintenance, and school fees on top.

Original poster
Mumsnutter963 · 29/09/2015 22:17

Thanks pootle. The 25% includes my pensions. I'd actually get 6-7% of the house :-( I am not a high earner, I earn ?24K and get tax credits, my mortgage is a struggle and will be for the next 20 years, even more so when the kids turn 18 and the tax credits stop.

I feel very sorry for your DH. It just doesn't seem fair.

OP posts:
NotDavidTennant · 29/09/2015 22:23

Is there a reason you're not involving a solicitor?

RandomMess · 29/09/2015 22:25

Completely different scenario then because of a long marriage and fluctuating incomes etc. You really need to speak to a solicitor.

You should both come out of the marriage with enough to rehouse yourselves etc. in an ideal world.

Original poster
Mumsnutter963 · 29/09/2015 22:30

I have seen a solicitor, he said I should get 50%. If we sold the house, XH would have enough to buy a house as good as mine for him, his partner (she earns more than me and lives for free in our old home) and the kids half the week. But he doesn't want to move and I wouldn't force him, I would be prepared to wait until the kids were 18 and finished school.

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 30/09/2015 00:28

If you have had legal advice that you trust, and you want to be fair, then your XH can whine all he likes and you can still go ahead with what works for you - he doesn't get to have what he wants, just because he wants it.

KevinAndMe · 30/09/2015 07:57

I then would stick to that advice. Also, I imagine that, when he was earning much more than, he also build up a pension of his own.

I love how he is in effect thinking that because he earned more at some point, he should be getting more money too when you split....
And how, what a sollicitor consider fair, isn't fair in his eyes because ... Oh yes he now has a house with no morgage on....
Somehow, I don't think he is taking as much care of your feelings as you do of his tbh (ie putting you in a situation where you have to pay a high mortgage for the next 20 years when he is care free)

Why don't you want to force him out of the house and why did you move out and not him?

Dollius01 · 30/09/2015 08:03

No, no, no. If he is including your pensions in all this, then you should get 50% of the marital assets (house) minus half the value of your pension (NOT all, just your half).

I bet that doesn't equate to 6% of the house, does it?

AuntieStella · 30/09/2015 08:06

One thing your really need to forget about in all this is his new partner, what she earns and where she lives.

OddBoots · 30/09/2015 08:09

How long until the children are 18? If his is living mortgage free for several years that is a huge value to him if you think what a mortgage would cost over that time - it could more than balance out the difference in what you each paid originally.

Dollius01 · 30/09/2015 08:09

Yes, but you also need to forget about who contributed how much during the marriage. That is also irrelevant. You have 50-50 care for the kids, so everything else should be split 50-50.

Mintyy · 30/09/2015 08:12

Not sure how Mumsnet can help with this? Do you not agree with your solicitor?

blibblobblub · 30/09/2015 08:16

It's tough then isn't it. It's a 50/50 split, he can complain all he wants, but it won't change anything.

Like pp have said, if you were earning less, contributing more to childcare etc, that has enabled him to earn more in the first place.